#solbm

[sheonlylikesblackmetal]

(I know I misspelled Zildjian. Too tired to fix it.)

The closest thing this project has to an antagonist: meet Jonas Eriksson! Former drummer for Omnis Spiritus, current owner/operator of Plague Records, Stockholm's longer-lasting and mildly more profitable answer to Helvete. Hasn't really been the same since that thing that happened. Gay and mean, but in a Ronnie Kray sort of way. Always going on podcasts and appearing in documentaries, much to Magnus's annoyance. Claims to own the chunk of Per Ohlin's skull that Hellhammer lost at a party. Trying to make an Omnis Spiritus biopic happen, with little success. Detached from reality in ways that aren't immediately obvious until it's too late. Aaliyah adores him.

[sheonlylikesblackmetal]

He's haunted the narrative from day one. He's the reason why Jonas is psychotic. He's the last thing Magnus thinks of before he falls asleep. Aaliyah has a picture of him in her wallet. It's Jack 'Bubonic' Doyle, who tragically committed suicide aged just twenty-one in Stockholm, permanently sundering Omnis Spiritus, the band he helped create. Showed up on Jonas' doorstep in 1995, fresh from London with nothing to his name but his guitar and the clothes on his back. He convinced Jonas and Magnus to change their sound, introducing them to the black metal tapes he'd been obsessively collecting. He was a working-class kid, the product of a young Irish woman's dalliance with a Pakistani grad student. She raised him on her own. Jack was devoutly Catholic, a fact he kept secret from his bandmates. Sexuality: bisexual, and yes, he had a thing going with Jonas. Hair: enormous. Size: five foot fuck-all. Stimmed by rubbing his face, which made corpsepaint impractical, so he customised a mask instead. In the SOLBM universe, he is widely considered one of the greatest black metal frontmen of all time. Grew up in Aaliyah's house, which her family found out about when they woke up one morning to find some of his fans drilling a plaque into their front wall. He's the reason why she got into black metal.

[sheonlylikesblackmetal]

Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Magnus 'Syphilitic' Krekula! Former bassist of Omnis Spiritus, currently a stay-at-home dad to his daughter Ilse. (Loves being a father, was never too keen on being a husband.) Runs an IT business from his kitchen table. Magnus is a quiet guy and doesn't like to be reminded of his days as a wild young metalhead, since it all went so horribly wrong. Really fucking wishes Jonas would stop calling him. Sexuality: ostensibly straight, but he's never really thought about it too hard. Gender: likewise. Guilt and regret eat him alive daily but don't worry about it, it's not that big of a deal, promise! Has built up a tolerance to all modern Disney soundtracks and will launch into 'Let It Go' without hesitation to get Aaliyah to leave him alone.

[sheonlylikesblackmetal]

Introducing the main characters. From left to right: Jonas 'Scrofulus' Eriksson, Aaliyah 'Septic' Ismail, and Magnus 'Syphilitic' Krekula. This is the 2025 lineup of Omnis Spiritus. (I'll do the 1995 lineup soon.) Introductory character sketches incoming.

[sheonlylikesblackmetal]

Apologies for the image quality; I'll do a better upload soon, I swear. Anyway, meet Kareem Muhammad, a 20-year-old Londoner of Kurdish extraction. Works at Khan Records in the same arcade where Aaliyah slings vapes. He likes metal, and he loves Aaliyah, but she is oblivious to his affection, since he's not her type (her type being atrocious middle-aged failed musicians). She spends most of her pay in Khan Records, and regularly visits Kareem's digs (her parents think she's going to a prayer group at the masjid) to spin her new discs and talk about music. When her parents first proposed returning to Syria, he was the one who jokingly suggested that she go to Sweden and join Omnis Spiritus. She took him seriously (she does not know what a joke is). The rest is history.

[sheonlylikesblackmetal]

Meet Fatima and Farida, Aaliyah's cousins! Well, to her, they're more like sisters. They're twins (both 25), and they work in the same pharmacy in London. They lived in London with their father (Aaliyah's mother's brother) for ages before the Ismails arrived - they got refugee status under a family reunification scheme, since neither Aisha nor Umar have any other close living relatives. They indulged Aaliyah's black metal obsession (although they're more into punk and grunge) and would always go to shows with her. They moved back to Damascus in January 2025, which contributed to Aaliyah's depression considerably.

[sheonlylikesblackmetal]

Meet Aaliyah's parents, Aisha and Umar Ismail (59 and 64 respectively). Aisha worked as a cardiac nurse back in Damascus, but her qualifications weren't recognized under the UK system, so she currently works as a healthcare assistant at a nursing home. Umar was a professor of Islamic history in his former life, but when he came to London he had to take up a variety of low-paid jobs. His latest and longest-lasting gig (janitor at Aaliyah's old secondary school) is on hold after he injured his back.

[sheonlylikesblackmetal]

little miss international incident and her worst fear: being forced to live up to her potential