My First Tag
Tagged by 2 surprisingly lol, thanks @honesthazbinarchives and @siaesnow - I’m honoured to be considered a buddy to you both ^^
“Starting up a Picrew tag game… you, but four years ago versus now! The purpose is to tag at least five to 15 users that you are friends with, and to create a tag chain of our character development!” ~ @goangelic
Picrew to use: https://picrew.me/image_maker/100365
Why is it always a sob story with me? Ok, jesting aside: Me 4 Years Ago: Without going too into depth, I was in hospital, extremely low and close to death. A few years prior, alongside what was already an uneasy life, I watched 2 very beloved people rot in hospital themselves. There was no one for me and I allowed myself to fall into disarray with matted hair and bones poking out my frame. Everything was such a fucking mess and yet these years are both horribly vivid and hazy. Like a thick fog of repression in my mind. Something I’m not yet willing to confront. Me 4 years ago, and 4 years prior to that is/was a delusional nightmare. Though I plan to tell my lil Kiddas/Squicks a funny ‘tale’ from 2012, it’s the year I wish to distance from the most.
Me Now: The same but ginger lol. Nah, I’ve made my improvements. And setbacks. I’m not as frail and mentally I feel more... It’s painful but I cope better. Therapy is still very much inaccessible to me sadly. Trying to grow as a person, but sometimes Im a grumpy tired lol. I learned of my place on the spectrum and have made my own steps to better understand and communicate more with other people. Im developing my hobbies. And I drink (mildly) in honour of a loved one. That year is still tender and I experience flashbacks and nightmares but I manage. I’m currently blamed for being a cat magnet as housing creatures in need lol. I want to show my little ones the world the way he showed me. Im trying to make good of what life I have. Still shy but I manage many things much better, though I’ve learned to accept where my soul truly stands. Im also now and open and accepted witch. Tomorrow will be hard and I have a long way to go. I take on a more active role in nurturing those around me. Though Ive improved greatly, I still feel something unsettling in the air around me. Also, there are seriously lots of cats drawn to and follow me. Seriously one of the neighbour’s cats even comes ‘round to visit me for hugs. Im the local cat lady. I feel like Susan Ashworth. Overall, I CAN confirm improvement as well as self-reflection. I’m not as toxic as I used to be. I can see and work on my own flaws. I’m far from being where I wish but I’m actively working towards that. Visualising and slowly getting there. I’m seeking to learn new skills and just enjoy my time. Plus my siblings seem to speak to me more and even steal my jokes so... I’m doin’ something right and must be funny enough for that lol. I also owned [’owned’] a large spider this year. She’s a wild giant house spider that lived under our window in a plant pot. Now I fear spiders [trying to get better as I love Ts] but I saw she had an eggsac. So I felt for the Mama spider and started to leave her food, even freeing her legs. Her babies have hatched and she’s moved out now but one of her babies has stayed so Im monitoring them until they choose to leave. I think I’ve become more brave with people, in my self in terms of animals, and just with dealing with shit. I get a bad panic attack now and usually it doesnt look obvious because... I just shrug and try to mentally soothe it [not easy but I try]. And I can ramble for ETERNITY on animals because I love them with my soul 🥺 As for gambling, always done that LOL. I’m honestly proud that Ive never formed an addiction [aside from minor meds one as a kid, cravings for sugar/meat now and my absolute lust for orange juice lol]. I found out I am very durable. BONUS - Me In 4 Years Time:
