Guys, I'm still busy as shit, and I'm still gonna kill myself, but to make it even worse;
Don't think about Ash going through more experiments until the things that weren't completed in his lore video, finally get checked off. Don't think about the idea of family and emotional attachments being pushed out of his brain. Don't think about when he eventually comes back, he might be a cruel leader.
Like, really cruel.
Don't think about him possibly snapping at Tubbo when he sees part of the Regime is messed up. Don't think about Tubbo asking him what happened and why he's acting different, only for Ash to brush it off because he doesn't know what he's talking about. Don't think about Ash forcing Tubbo to call him "Supreme Leader" and Tubbo being annoyed but agreeing and deciding to let him work out whatever he's going through by himself (DragonHeart going back to ServantDuo 💔)
Don't think about Haiper possibly being free from the chip, and while still brainwashed by Multi, going to the Regime to talk to Ash and test the waters. Don't think about Ash snapping at Haiper and telling him that since he joined the Regime, then he has to stay at the Regime, and only the Regime (no more going to the North or the Polish cave or visiting the Dutch or the TwitchCon house). Don't think about Ash being so cruel that it reinforces the lies and brainwashing Multi has been feeding Haiper so he completely turns his back on Ash and the Regime.
Don't think about Don trying to talk to Ash and figure out what the heck is going on, only for him to be shut down and told not to question his supreme leader. Don't think about Ash possibly forcing Don to choose between the Dutch or the Regime. Don't think about Ash officially kicking Katie out of the Regime because she married a fed, is allied with Multi, and has Nacho as her kid with Multi. Don't think about Katie taking it as confirmation of what Multi and everyone else has been saying about Ash. Don't think about Katie ignoring what Don had told her about Ash not kicking her out because he loves her and sees her as a sister, because obviously that's not true anymore.
Oh also!
Don't think about Ash changing his skin so he doesn't have Juan's XP bracelet anymore because he woke up wearing it and took it off because he didn't remember where it came from or why he had it. Don't think about Ash going to the pantheon and taking down all the decorations and fanart he put up and destroying them because it serves no purpose to him and is just taking up space in the Pantheon. Don't think about him taking down the picture of Ghostie and Son because he doesn't know who they are or why their picture is in his precious pantheon. Don't think about him stopping himself from getting rid of Juan's painting of him, not because he remembers Juan and wants to keep it, but because it's a picture of him as a leader, and his new programing finds it "acceptable" to keep. Don't think about Ash destroying all the chairs in the pantheon except for his, because he needs his subjects to be standing when addressing him.
Don't think about Ewroon seeing all of this and trying to talk to Ash, only for him not to remember him and threaten him multiple times to stay away from him because he doesn't need useless people dragging him down. Don't think about Ewroon still holding onto the bit of humanity he has left and using it to try and make Ash remember who he is, despite Ash not wanting anything to do with him, and the amulet from Dark Cucurucho making him want to give up on him, too.
Oh my god, don't think about Ewroon trying to give Ash his heart back, but Ash not understanding what it is, getting pissed at Ewroon constantly bothering him, and destroying his heart himself. Don't think about whatever consequences would come from Ash truly not having a heart anymore.
Don't think about Ash finally becoming the heartless leader he wanted everyone to think he was at the beginning of the island.
Don't think about it. Because our Ash would never do something like that, he sees the Regime members as family... But then again, he was taken by Cucurucho to possibly be experimented on again. So who knows what could happen? 🤷
Anyway, I'm gonna kill myself later (not today cause I have something planned for later and tomorrow)
Enjoy suffering ✌️
(why am I so busy I'm actually gonna kill myself the universe hates me so much what the fuck)