#some thoughts..

[francisforever2014]

i’m so tired and i have to wake up and brush my teeth and live another day tomorrow and i only feel alive when i’m dreaming or maybe when im driving down the highway and there’s a sharp pain where my heart used to be and my thumb won’t stop bleeding and i think it might be like this forever

[weirdloverwilde]

ava will be the s7 main. she has to be, so we can see her grow and develop more as a character and also because we need her pov before any of the instas so we get her bullying storyline resolved with the focus on HER and i trust druck to do that. plus she has a couple possible romances being set up with marc and huelk

then i hope ismail will be the next main. out of all the instas, he's the most likely to be main imo (except for finn, but he needs more development first). also god i am in love with the idea of having a nonbinary main. druck already obviously understands the importance of trans rep so I trust them to handle their plotline well. ik lgb people kinda dislike coming out narratives but trans people don't even have those so I wouldn't mine if that was ismail's plotline

[evilponds]

he was happy, once. the thought comes unbidden to jem as they watch the doctor order their drinks. he seems content, certainly — as though he were at home here, among outcasts and criminals. they suppose he belongs here. but content and happiness… jem never thought they knew the difference, but julian seems to be a study in that divide. every once in a while they’ll catch something in his eye that says yes, he was happy once, and from time to time he approaches happiness again like a child hesitantly returns to the dog that bit them. he approaches, but never reaches out. it does something to jem heart, makes it twist in on itself unpleasantly. this is pity, jem thinks, and tries to push it down. julian doesn’t seem the type to tolerate being pitied.

he gives them a smile when he slides back into his seat, pushing the drink towards them and winking. “there you are, then,” he says warmly. “drink up.”

jem does, and only after a large sip does it even occur to them that it may have been tampered with somehow. they know of poisons that can kill a man in seconds: they’ve held such poisons in their hands before, tiny, brightly-colored vials that used to fascinate them until asra inevitably swiped them away with a quick but gentle admonishment about the perils of curiosity (as though he hadn’t been the one to bring it to the surface in jem, to tend to it the way you would a newborn flame). they should know better. but something about the doctor disarms them, and jem supposes this trust must be instinct. and for all their caution, they’ve never been one to go against instinct.

they can feel his warmth even across a table. his skin burns warm; even now they can still feel the ghost of his hands at their wrists. but it’s more than that, it’s something in his one eye, in the soul that jem can feel simmering beneath his chest. something, maybe the soft light of the tavern, maybe jem’s own romantic spirit, tells them that the doctor is innocent.

which they suppose is why they allow him to bodily carry them out of the tavern when the raven wing-stumbles into the warning bells, curled into his chest as though they were something valuable. and why they trust him when he gives them directions to their shop, for all the good it does them when nadia’s carriage rolls up beside them later. the ride to the palace is dark and romantic, the streetlamps illuminating late-night wanderers, but jem doesn’t notice. julian’s gaze haunts them the whole way home, and even still as they fitfully try to sleep. they wonder to themselves — how long can someone skirt warily around happiness without touching it? what will become of the doctor?

[hexasburning-blog]

People who think of me way after I let them go are the worst I was hungry for your love but I let it go and now you want to give it.I feel like being alone now because I was left alone because I made a mistake in the first place I wonder what the right thing to do is. Being with those people feels right but after being left to feel so alone I dont know anymore so I sit and stay to myself everyday now.

[muffiainen-blog]