Time for the Year in Review crap.
So here's mine. Some trigger warnings. Some spoilers possible. I'm mostly just writing this for me. Feel free to ignore this.
January, I was in active labor for five fucking days, but because the baby wasn't "under stress" and I was 37 weeks, the doctors legally wouldn't help labor along until I was 38 weeks to the day. Also, KH3 was a disappointment and I blame the DECADE of hype mixed with postpartum depression.
February, just postpartum depression.
March, more postpartum depression.
April I had to deal with physical heartbreak over a fictional character. RIP Tony Stark and Natasha Romanoff...
May was weird. A switch got flipped. I was getting back into my normal groove, and then an event pissed me off so much that I became suicidal. Sorta. I seriously thought about downing a pill bottle, and when it hit me that I was thinking like that again, I told Husband and made him lock everything away until I saw the doctor.
June was spent in and out of Doctor's offices and Terapist's offices. I got put on new depression meds, which helped with the self-loathing, but gave me nasty headaches. But Salt Lake Gaming Con was fun. We had a Super Smash Bros group cosplay. I was Zero Suit Samus, Hubby was Snake, my oldest was Isabella, youngest was Duck Hunt Dog (with a plush duck). We had Ridley, Pokemon Trainer, Pikachu, TP Link, and Bayonetta. Plus ran into random SSB cosplayers while there.
July was hell. Family reunions with migraines suck. Moreso when you're stuck camping with a 6 month old and an almost 3 year old. Then towards the end of the month, doctors thought I had a double stroke (at 25) because my depression meds reacted badly with postpartum hormones. That was fun.
August is when my doc and therapist decided to take me off of meds completely. "Wait for postpartum hormones to be completely regulated." Which can take up to a year to regulate. So withdrawals. But a friend got married!!
September was okay. School was back in session, so I was busy working. That was good. I also got to take a day and go to Salt Lake FanX. I took my younger sister with me, and she had a blast. She's an amazing artist, but deals with a lot of confidence issues, so for her to meet some of her favorite artists was a huge boost for her. Almost busted my hand the day before though. Another good note, my oldest turned 3.
October was good. Husband and I celebrated our 4th anniversary and took a week away in Vegas. It was nice to spend time away without being "Mom" or "Teacher". We also adopted Azura on Halloween. That was nice, given that it was below Zero and I was not going to take a toddler Trick or Treating in that cold.
November. This is when the doctor visits for the girls really started. Both girls have Neurofibromatosis or NF. Its genetic, and they got it from dad. The tricky thing is it manifests differently in each case. My oldest has brown spots all over her body and she has seizures. My youngest has brown spots and her left leg is bowed more than normal for a baby her age. Their specialist is talking with us about getting a service dog for my oldest because of her issues, and possible surgery for the youngest if her leg doesn't straighten out by April. It's been a hard thing to come to grips with, honestly.
And finally December. Fuck this month. Rotten kids everywhere. I was attacked by a 7th grader, called racist by a 9th grader that was calling every kid some slur or another and eventually had to be escorted out of the class by the resourse officer, dealt with a teacher that mistook me for a student, calling me things no student should ever be called, and ultimately had to go straight to the district with all the issues previously mentioned. Then I get dumped with my aunt's 5 kids that are all under the age 8, plus my two girls, just so she can go shopping. And on Christmas, I get dumped with her baby and mine while everyone else eats. Did anyone think to save me a plate? Nope. All that was left was mashed potatoes and gravy. So my dinner was a gas station sandwich. And more physical heartbreak over fictional characters. Thanks JJ Abrams. Then the cherry on the cake? My kids end up with Roseola, my husband gets a cold, and an ovarian cyst burst on me this morning.
So, yeah. I'm glad 2019 is over. It had good moments, but damn it was a rollercoaster with a lot of drops. Here's to hoping 2020 is at least a little smoother of a ride. ❤
