ahh so Im having a lot of feelings about my larger body and why I have to be okay with it even if I am not okay with it. I got triggered by a photograph which sucks. My restaurant won an award again this year so I got all gussied up in a way I don’t normally do(full face make-up, hair did, etc) and was feeling myself but then the only picture anyone took whch then got uploaded across all our business social media and I feel like I look just awful and everyone else looks precious and most days I fight the desire to be thin because I know that’s not only a boring frivolous goal but also will not bring me the joy I though tit would but fuck shitting god damn if I am not being strongly reminded that my recovery def isn’t ‘over’ and might not ever be.