To inform y'all, (or at least those who care lol,) I am "over the hill" as the illogical german saying would say, I feel better since 2 days, since:
- mirtazapine (antidepressant) is fully reduced, my sleep is better, my depression less bad.
- CBD therapy isn't "left behind"; started to take CBD in multiple forms multiple times a day - gosh, it's exhausting, to remind me of taking oil/vaping/other forms of smoking CBD weed/eating CBD edibles/ drinking CBD and CBG tea all day.
That means for the daily routine: Take CBD oil every few hours up to 5 times a day, drink CBG tea in the evening, whenever I have the nerve to make myself hemp tea, then plus that, and the worst and simultaneously best is to use my awesome Bong with a Klein perculator! (as seen above)
(It's "bad" because I am no smoker actually, and it gets intense getting hits "from the 4th dimension" (pun intended),
... eating 2 CBD cookies 2 times a day, and what the fuck, at least all the pain and cramps are gone, and that's worth the intensive care I have to do for myself.
(Self care is fucking hard, if you can't even eat properly or don't even recognize simplest basic needs, such as thirst or hunger, because you're literally so deprived of all basic human needs since your early childhood...)
But I won't complain.
Also, I have realized I am a huge narcisstistic asshole. I am over stressing about it - it won't change the fact that my life only revolves around me and myselves...
Also I started a new project (besides having literally 10 other unfinished projects parallelly)...
It's called "Egodram - my last chapter - or: How I made peace with the world by burying my ego"
And I have a great idea for that: The last chapter of this book will be called "The first chapter" (math puns intended plus philosophical shit)