#somewhat triggering

[piano-man-harmonica]

[bioluminescent-fungus]

low key jealous of characters with loving and understanding parents

[evilinthenight]

*sighs*

We've been here, Ale. You're not disgusting, in any shape or form, those things you've heard today hit hard because it was your dad saying them. 

But

He should be ashamed, not you. 

You are who you are. Be proud, you've come a long way here, 

If he thinks gay people are some kind of cult trying to recruit people, well, they're not the ones knocking on people's door saying their way's the right way to live. 

He's ignorant, and you can't change that because he won't listen. 

So, let it go. 

Let it fucking go because he doesn't deserve it. Not even because he's your dad. 

And yeah, maybe it was your fucking fault, because you pushed and you shouldn't have if you didn't want to know the answer. 

Deal with it. Move on. Tomorrow will be a better day. Tomorrow wake up and hold your head high. You got nothing to be ashamed of. No matter what he says, you have to stop giving a fuck and looking for support in people who will never give it to you. 

And maybe, maybe, if your friends hadn't tried to talk you into staying in pre-med, and maybe, maybe, if your mom hadn't said you were 'giving up too easily', and maybe, maybe, if you hadn't made a big mess out of your life, then maybe, his words wouldn't have hit you so hard. 

Maybe. 

I love them, I really do, and maybe that's the problem. If I didn't, their words wouldn't matter that much. 

Right? 

But that's not the important part. 

So, tomorrow. Smile. You've got people who loves you, who supports you. You. Are. Not. Alone. Anymore. Friends on school, friends online, they've got your back.

Wallow in pity today, tomorrow, give those people who are there for you a big smile full of 'thank you'. Because if it weren't for them, you've probably taken all those pills from your meds today out of spite. Meanwhile, in reality, you only took too, doing the opposite, taking care of yourself. 

You are stronger because of them. 

They're rotting for you. Rot for yourself too. 

And smile, because I'm so proud of you. You're standing for yourself, yeah, baby steps, but you're doing it. And that's 100x better than the way you were four years ago. If you think this is a mess, remember four years ago. You're nowhere near being a mess, you're picking up the fucking pieces. 

Just keep going. You'll be there sooner than you think.