Mar 19, 2017
(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1zaKaP6i4o)
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(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1zaKaP6i4o)
Merry Winter Veil, Jakko Boomsprocket
“We’re baaaaack!” Spritzie announced as she entered the ‘apartment’ in which she, Jakko and most recently Soozee have been living in. It was, in truth, the cellar of one of Pandaria’s many, many taverns, this one built inside one of the Jade Forest’s iconic serpent bridges. The Boomsprockets paid rent to the owner in exchange for permanent lodgings.
“Well, THAT was a gigantic waste of time.” Soozee grumbled as she and Spritzie each tried to pull their massive bags through the doorway. “Marlie’s fireworks detonated off cue, Sallee and Frakko couldn’t stop arguing, and Dad did NOT like Fizzo’s new girlfriend.”
The two goblins screeched as the bags suddenly came free and landed on top of them. They each quickly dragged themselves out from underneath the bags and dusted themselves off. “I still can’t believe Fizzo actually landed himself a draenei. Rikko woulda been proud.” Spritzie said.
“Yeah, but once she started talking about the ‘Harmony of the Elements,’ that’s when Dad started getting annoyed.” Soozee pointed out.
“Yeah, I know right?” Spritzie replied. “Dad was all like ‘Fizzo, she didn’t fill yer head with none of that new age nature-lovin’ mumbo jumbo, did she?’”
“Ugh, I know. Dad’s gotten so closed-minded in his old age.” Soozee replied.
Spritzie paused and looked around. “Hey, where’s Jakko? Think he’s at the Delver Base?”
“….I think that’s him face down on the couch, surrounded by empty beer bottles.” Soozee said as she pointed to the unconscious troll in question.
“….Ho boy. I was afraid of something like this.” Spritzie said. “Soozee, this is more my thing. You go ahead and get yourself unpacked.”
“Thanks. I need to feed those ancient blood samples.” Soozee replied as she dragged her bag into her room / lab.
“…How do you feed blood?” Spritzie asked.
“Do you really wanna know?” Soozee asked before entering the lab. Spritzie shuddered and decided that no, no she didn’t want to know. She approached Jakko and poked him awake. “Hey buuuuuddy.” she said. “Wakey-wakey.”
“Ugh……” he groaned.
“Don’t tell me you went on a bender all Winter Veil long.” Spritzie asked.
“Not all Winter Veil long.” Jakko answered. “Just over New Year’s.”
“How bad?” Spritzie asked.
“I almost strangled a demon hunter to death over a sweater.” Jakko replied.
“Oof.” Spritzie replied with a wince. “It was the Winter Veil sweater, I take it? The one Nana knitted before she died?”
“Eeeyup.” Jakko said. “Guy said he ate it, I lost it, his friend threw me off, and I later discover he was actually kidding.”
Spritzie sighed. “You know you just can’t fly off the handle like that.”
“I know, but you know me.” Jakko replied. Spritzie nodded. She did. Jakko’s had a short temper all his life. It reminded her of the old legends of berserkers - troll warriors capable of channeling their rage into unbridled strength and ferocity. Not for the first time, she wondered if Jakko was one. She’d have to ask Kal’rokh about it sometime - he’s a berserker, so he would know.
“….Is Winter Veil over?” he asked. Spritzie nodded. “Good. Time off’s over, I can get back to work.” Jakko said as he got up. He hissed as he gripped his head. “Shit. Hangover.”
“Do you have to go back to the Dreamgrove so soon?” Spritzie asked. “I mean, is it just me, or have you been working A LOT, lately?”
“Well, the Circle is playing a key role in the war against the Legion on the Broken Isles.” Jakko pointed out. “So yes - I’ve been working A LOT lately, and seeing as it’s for Azeroth’s very survival, I fail to see the problem with it.”
“Where they gonna send you this time?” Spritzie asked.
“Aszuna, I think.” Jakko said as his headache began to fade. “We’re running low on resources, so I gotta do some work for the Court of Farondis. Gonna be a lot of demon hunters up there, so yeah, NOT lookin’ forward to that.”
“What is it with you and demon hunters, anyway?” Spritzie asked as she put her hands on her hips.
“I dunno.” Jakko replied. “I guess they just remind me too much of death knights and, well, you know how I feel about them.” The troll absently scratched at an old, ugly scar on the side of his abdomen.
“You know, Roscoe’s undead, and you seem to be friends with him.” Spritzie pointed out.
“He’s different. He’s just a regular undead. Death knights are on a whole other level.” Jakko argued.
“…..Not all of them are like Colfax, Jakko.” Spritzie replied. She shrugged. “I’m just sayin’.”
Jakko shuddered. Colfax. Didn’t need to be reminded of that psycho.
“So, benders aside, did anything good happen over this Winter Veil?” Spritzie asked.
“Um……There was a party with the other Delvers.” Jakko said as he scratched the back of his head. “I bought everyone Sulfuron Slammers.”
“Well, there ya go!” Spritzie said. “See? It wasn’t all bad.”
“Yeah…..” Jakko said, not so sure of that. Spritzie frowned.
It had been a few years since the patriarch of the Boomsprocket family disowned his adopted son, Jakko. He didn’t take kindly to his choice of vocation - a druid. Druids had been responsible for the foiling of many Bilgewater operations in Azshara, so he saw Jakko’s joining them as an act of betrayal. Jakko hadn’t spent a single Winter Veil with the Boomsprocket family since.
It’s why he always got particularly miserable at around this time of year. It was a reminder of a family that no longer wanted anything to do with him. He never stopped Rikko or Spritzie from going to spend Winter Veil with family, but he never went with them, knowing he wasn’t welcome there anymore.
“…..Soozee and I brought you something.” Spritzie said.
“Yeah?” Jakko asked.
“Yeah.” Spritzie said as she hauled her bag over. “They’re presents for you.”
Jakko rolled his eyes. “Spritz, you and Sooz didn’t need to-“
“They’re not from me or Soozee.” Spritzie pointed out. “They’re from everyone else.”
Jakko said nothing, unsure of what Spritzie meant. Spritzie opened the bag and dumped several armfuls of gift-wrapped boxes onto Jakko’s lap. Jakko went through them all, reading all the name tags.
Marlie. Fizzo. Frakko. Sallee. Razz. Bailee. His brothers and sisters. He opened them all. Fizzo got him a murloc joke shirt. Marlie got him a deluxe firecracker set. Bailee got him a new Winter Veil sweater, just like the ones Nan would knit back when he was a kid. Razzie’s gift, a pair of diamond-studded sunglasses, came with a note.
Jakko,
We’re so sorry that you couldn’t join us again this year. Spritzie and I tried to talk Daddy into sending you an invite, but he wouldn’t hear it. He can be so stubborn sometimes.
Spritzie has told us about how hard you took Rikko’s death, and that this would be your first Winter Veil without him. We just want you to know that, no matter what Dad says, we’ll always think of you as our brother.
Merry Winter Veil, Razzie and the Rest
Jakko’s eyes began to water. They cared. They all still cared. He looked to Spritzie and the two looked at each other for a while. Jakko wrapped his arms around his baby sister and hugged her. Spritzie hugged back. He sobbed a bit into her shoulder as she rubbed his back. They were still for a moment.
“….Thank you.” Jakko was able to choke out.
“Don’t mention it. That’s what family’s for.” Spritzie replied.
Jakko sobbed for another minute before finally gathering enough composure to let go. His eyes brightened. “Wait here.” he said before getting up off the couch and over to one of the shelves where he kept his assorted junk. He found what he was looking for and brought it back to Spritzie.
“Arth gave me this at the Winter Veil party.” Jakko said. “I think it was meant for you though.”
It was an egg. But not just any sort of egg. It was a bright orange egg, almost like gold, and glowed faintly in the dark cellar. Spritzie’s mouth hung open in awe as she took the egg and got a closer look at it. “Woah…..is this what I think it is?”
“I honestly don’t know.” Jakko replied. “You seem to know this stuff better than I do.”
“You’re a druid!” Spritzie replied. “How do you not know animal stuff?!”
“I know tiger stuff.” Jakko argued. “And some bat stuff. A little bear stuff. And that’s about it.”
“This is a phoenix egg, dummy!” Spritzie shouted.
“Phoenix, huh?” Jakko replied as he stroked his chin. “That would explain the glowing. The glowing bit tells me that there’s SOMETHING magical in there.”
“What’s this about phoenixes now?” Soozee asked as she entered the room.
“Arthaenus got me a phoenix egg for Winter Veil!” Spritzie excitedly said as she jumped up and down.
“Lemme see that.” Soozee said as she took the egg from Spritzie.
“Hey!” Spritzie whined as she tried to give the egg back, but Soozee kept her at bay with one arm.
“Holy crap, this IS a phoenix egg.” Soozee observed. She handed it back to Spritzie, who took it with classic goblin greed. “Those are INSANELY rare! Where did Arth even get it?!”
“Beats me.” Jakko replied. “Probably worth a fortune at the Auction House.”
“Forget selling it! Phoenixes are elemental creatures born through a mix of elemental, arcane, and light energy. Think of what we could learn if we research it.” Soozee argued.
“No!” Spritzie replied. “We’re not selling the egg, and we are DEFINITELY not turning it into a guinea pig for Soozee’s mad science!”
“Hey! My science isn’t mad!” Soozee replied.
“Grrrrrrggglll…….” gurgled a low voice from Soozee’s room.
“Shut up! I just fed you!” Soozee shouted at the room.
“I’m going to hatch it, and raise it as my new baby.” Spritzie vowed. She rubbed the egg lovingly. “I’m going to carry it around with me everywhere I go, just like with my cloud serpent. Now, where’s my old egg harness……..”
Spritzie walked into her room with her egg while Soozee went into hers to deal with……whatever it was in her room that was gurgling. Jakko sat there a while, surrounded by gifts from a far away family. It made him smile.
There were still challenges ahead in his life. But it was comforting to know that he wasn’t as alone as he thought he was.
Growing up.
It had been about two weeks since the…”incident” with Soozee.
After years of studying the Void, it finally happened. Soozee snapped. She went rogue, tried to kill fellow Firebrand employees, start her own cult, and begin a ritual that would see her “ascend into godhood”, whatever that meant. Luckily, Spritzie and the other Firebrands were able to save her from herself - Teka and the other shamans exercised the void entity out of Soozee and the light cannon they discovered in her lab destroyed it.
After spending the next few days in a coma, Soozee finally awoke…and the first thing she did was try to kill herself. After Valerie foiled that attempt, Spritzie took her sister back to the ranch, making a point to lock up any and all sharp instruments, drugs, and especially her rifle. In the weeks since then, Soozee has been spending much of her time sequestered in the guest room she was staying in, hardly ever speaking a word.
One thing she DID tell Spritzie however, was to sell off her assets in order to pay for her hospital bills - she was fired at around the time she tried to lure several employees into her lab to kill them, so healing services didn’t come free for her. So she gave Firebrand Enterprises everything - her lab, her experiments, everything she had ever created. Spritzie was surprised. Soozee would just…give it all up?
Soozee said that she didn’t need it anymore. Not any of it.
It was morning, and Spritzie was making coffee. She heard footsteps coming down the stairs, which struck her as odd - her sister wasn’t normally up this early. She turned her head and saw her sister, dressed in an old black robe that Spritzie had lying around…
As well as a suitcase.
“Could you make my breakfast to go, Spritzie?” Soozee asked.
“Er…where you goin’?” Spritzie asked back.
“I don’t know.” Soozee said. “My plan was to go to Silvermoon City first. Beyond that…I don’t know, I suppose I’ll improvise.”
“What are you talking about?” Spritzie asked.
“I’m leaving, Spritzie.” Soozee bluntly replied as she stuffed a black robe with red trim inside. “I can’t stay here.”
“W-w-what do you mean?” Spritzie asked.
“There’s nothing for me here.” Soozee said. “…Don’t give me that look. Please, don’t make this any harder than it needs to be.”
“B-b-but what about that job interview?!” Spritzie asked.
“You mean the one YOU tried to set up without telling me?” Soozee asked. “It was an exercise in futility, Spritzie. Mrs. Firebrand doesn’t want me back in her company - she has made that VERY clear.”
“Okay, but just hear me out - I’m gonna be named a stakeholder next month!” Spritzie said. “And once I become that, that’ll give me a little extra leverage to-“
“Why do you even want me here?!” Soozee snapped.
“Because you’re my family!” Spritzie snapped back. “We’re SUPPOSED to stick together! We’re supposed to take care of each other!”
“Oh please.” Soozee harrumphed as she went back to packing. “Mom died when you were a baby, Dad and Jakko haven’t been on speaking terms in years, Rikko’s dead - “
“Exactly!” Spritzie said. “Don’t you get it, Soozee? We’re runnin’ out of family! We gotta-“
“Spritzie, I’m going to say something to you that you may not have ever heard before.” the blonde goblin said. With a fully packed suitcase, she whirled on her heels and stared her redheaded younger sister down. “Grow up.”
Spritzie was taken aback by that.
“You may have everyone else fooled with this angry, bloodthirsty, foul-mouthed persona you’ve invented for yourself, but it doesn’t fool me.” Soozee said. “I know that, buried deep beneath all that rage, you’re still that same, lonely little girl who’s terrified of losing people. Well, let me tell you something - of COURSE you’re going to LOSE people. That’s how life works. Sometimes through tragedy, sometimes through a mutual parting of ways, but YOU. WILL. LOSE PEOPLE.”
She gestured to the window. “Take a good look outside, Spritzie. Look upon your ranch.”
Hesitantly, Spritzie did so. Matilda was chasing the feeder sheep that roamed free across the grounds. Cera was browsing by the blueberry bushes again. Spike was napping by clinging to the side of the barn. Argunite was napping under the shade of a tree. Cambria had buried herself in the mud by the pond. And Pinecone was near the house itself, keeping a steady watch on the others.
“NOTHING you see out there is permanent.” Soozee said. “One day, it will all be gone.”
“…Is that what the Void told you?” Spritzie asked.
“It didn’t need to.” Soozee replied. “That’s just a fact of life.”
Soozee grabbed and hefted her suitcase. Spritzie turned to her. “Soozee, the first thing you did when you woke up was try to kill yourself. How will I know that you’ll be okay without me?”
“You won’t.” Soozee bluntly replied. “And that’ll have to be your burden to bare. As for my own burdens…well…I’ve been doing some thinking and, for what it’s worth, I DO plan on exploring other options before attempting another suicide.”
“What kind of options?” Spritzie asked.
“Don’t know.” Soozee replied. “I suppose I won’t know until I explore them.”
She looked at Spritzie. “…You’ve already done far more for me than I deserve. I thank you for this second chance. I promise…I’ll try not to waste it.”
And then she walked out of the room. Spritzie didn’t stop her. She knew there wasn’t any point in it.
Soozee left the ranch. She walked up to the Pyrewatch flight master and paid two gold pieces for a wind rider to Silvermoon. Soozee Boomsprocket didn’t know what she would find. She didn’t even know what she was looking for anymore. But she knew one thing for sure - she wouldn’t find it here.
The Battle For Lordaeron: Part VII - Exit Strategy
After picking up Soozee, Jakko flew back over to the Southern Courtyard, and not a moment too soon. The Horde was pulling back from the courtyard and was making its way through the eastern half of the city to the second rally point in the palace gardens. “Alright.” Jakko said. “We’ll just follow them from up here and-“
An arrow hit Jakko right in the wing. “BWONSAMDI FUCKS HAMSTERS FOR BREAKFAST!” he swore as he quickly lost altitude and crashed into the courtyard. The two goblins on his back tumbled across the ground as he morphed back into troll form. He looked to his shoulder to inspect the wound.
Yup. Darnassian Arrow in his shoulder. Pretty deep.
He looked around - most of the Horde had already fled, and in front of the Boomsprocket siblings was a very large, very angry Alliance army that had now spotted the three of them. Several Stormwind footmen lowered their spears and charged at them.
Oh, this is just hilarious. Jakko thought to himself. After surviving the horrors of the blight and the vengeful wrath of a paladin with a vendetta, it’s some random-ass night elf archer who got off a lucky shot that ends up killing him and his sisters. Whatever being is responsible for weaving the fate of mortals must be laughing its ass off right now.
Before the Alliance could close the distance though, someone landed between them. They screamed so loud at the soldiers that they had to cover their ears (so did Jakko and his sisters - they cursed trolls and goblins alike for having such big ears). The stranger then fired several arrows at the footmen before turning around.
It was Sylvanas Windrunner.
“Don’t just sit there! Move! Second Rally Point! Go!” the Warchief shouted at them before engaging the Alliance once more.
None of them had any trouble following that particular order, as they all ran off toward the east side of the city. Jakko spared a glance back and watched in horror and awe as Sylvanas held off the entire Alliance army more-or-less single-handed.
Damn.
She was an evil bitch, but for the briefest moment, he was glad that she was on their side.
Marbelma had finally gotten free of those damned vines and made her way down the rubble back into the courtyard. She saw Roniaar, on his hands and knees, panting next to a dead hydra. “Roniaar? What the hell happened to ye?” she asked.
“Things got hairy.” Roniaar said. “I…” he gasped for breath. “I had to ascend.”
Marbelma’s eyes widened. She didn’t know a whole lot about shamanism, but she knew that becoming an ascendent, even temporarily, was incredibly dangerous. Things must’ve really gotten bad down here if Roniaar was willing to take a risk like that.
She looked around and saw that the courtyard was largely devoid of Horde now. Save for one particular Hordie…
“Sylvanas…” Marbelma breathed as she watched the Warchief fire a seemingly endless amount of arrows into the Alliance, leaping from place to place. “What’s she doin’?!”
“Trying to cover her Horde’s retreat.” Tendalel reported.
“Gah!” Marbelma jumped. “Don’t do that!”
“Can’t help it. Void elf AND a rogue.” Ten said. “Anyway, there’s still a few Horde stragglers in the courtyard and Sylvanas is trying to cover their retreat.”
“She’s vulnerable…” Marbelma said with a grin as she unsheathed her hammer. “This is our chance!” she shouted as she ran towards the Banshee Queen.
“Marbles! Wait!” Roniaar said as he took off after her, still struggling to catch his breath so soon after ascension.
“…I’m gonna have to go with them, aren’t I?” Ten asked no one in particular. He sighed. “The things I do for guildies…” he muttered before sprinting after the two.
The three Alliance heroes didn’t get very far. Sylvanas eventually hopped on top of a large pile of rubble and aimed her last few arrows not at any Alliance troops…but at the massive vats of blight that lined the sides of the battlefield.
“…Oh, son of a bitch.” Marbelma cursed, realizing what was about to happen.
As the arrows hit the massive canisters, they detonated, blight rushing across the battlefield. The trio hit the ground, somehow believing that would shield them from the worst of it…
…And somehow, it did.
Marbelma looked up and saw, much to her own surprise, that she was surrounded not by Blight, but by a large dome of holy energy that shielded them. “Quickly!” said the priest who must’ve saved them. “Back to the other side of the battlefield! I don’t know how long I can maintain this shield!”
Marbelma nodded and stood up. “Come on, you two! On yer feet!” she barked at Roniaar and Tendalel as they stood up and walked with the priest as they, and several other priests who managed to bubble some very lucky Alliance soldiers, made their way to the western end of the courtyard where there wasn’t any blight.
The priest dropped his shield. “Thanks.” Marbelma said.
“It was an honor, hero.”
…And that’s when Marbelma realized just who, exactly, had saved her life.
The face of Anduin Wrynn smiled down on her, before the High King walked off to meet with Proudmoore and Greymane to discuss the next course of action.
It then occurred to Marbelma that hers wasn’t the first life the High King saved today. Probably wouldn’t be the last, either. Perhaps she had misjudged him - it takes stones to walk into a cloud of blight just to save a few random adventurers, after all.
The Horde’s next order from their Warchief was a surprising one - evacuate. They were to withdraw back into the Undercity, where mages were waiting to teleport the battle’s survivors to a safer place. As Baine herded the Horde’s champions out of the gardens and through the throne room, Jakko caught a glimpse of Sylvanas and Saurfang arguing about something.
The troll supposed it wasn’t all that surprising that they were pulling out. They had defended the city as best they could, but with the Alliance now completely overrunning the ruins on the surface, it was only a matter of time before they’d take it. He’d heard that Sylvanas had detonated the last of the blight bombs in the courtyard, but he knew that was just to buy the Horde more time to withdraw. It wouldn’t hold the Alliance back for long.
They took the elevator down into the center ring of the Undercity. Striding by Spritzie’s side was the only pet Spritzie brought with her to survive the battle - Angel, her wolfhawk. It whined as it sensed her mistress’s distress and tried to nuzzle the goblin to comfort her.
Soozee was fiddling with her belt, muttering curses as her void suit seemed to be sparking. “Shit.” she cursed. “Void suit’s been damaged. Must’ve happened when we took that spill after that arrow shot you down, Jakko.”
“Yeah, the arrow…” Jakko said as he eyed the bandage where a shamanistic healer took out the arrow, slapped some healing water on the wound, and called for his next patient. Orcs weren’t known for their bedside manner. Course, that wound was minor compared to what that dwarf had given him.
He rubbed at the handprint on the right side of his face. The flesh was still raw. It would probably take weeks to heal, even with trollish regeneration. Except…doesn’t fire nullify regeneration? He wondered if this scar would actually heal.
If it doesn’t, one more for the collection. Jakko looked down at the gash scar on his palm, and rubbed at the jagged scar on the side of his torso. Orcs viewed scars as badges of honor, and proof of courage and strength. Jakko didn’t really see it that way. His scars felt more like monuments to his mistakes.
They eventually found a mage with a portal. Standing beside the mage was Commander Johriah Lawrence. “Do not despair, Horde.” he said to his champions to try and lift their spirits. “Though we may have lost this battle, the war is far from over.”
As if THAT was a comfort.
Jakko and his sisters stepped through the portal.
With the blight blocking the Alliance’s path, the only way past it was with the flying machines Gelbin Mekkatorgue had brought with him through the ren’dorei’s portal. The problem was that there weren’t much of them, so only a handful of the Alliance’s champions could go with Anduin to finish this battle once and for all.
Marbelma and her group would not be among them. For her, the battle was over.
“It can’t be over!” Marbelma raged as her group marched back through the breach Jaina had created earlier and back to Brill. “I’m not done yet!”
“You are.” Vindicator Rhyliaandra firmly told her old squire. “You’ve no reason to be ashamed, Marbelma. You fought with righteous fury this day, and in doing so, inflicted a wound on the Horde they will not recover from. You have earned this respite.”
“You don’t understand!” Marbelma said. “The troll! The one who killed my parents! He was here!”
“…He was?” Rhyliaandra asked.
“I dueled him on top of the battlements!” Marbelma said.
“I DO recall her seeing dueling a troll atop the wall.” Roniaar said. “Are you sure it was him?” he asked.
“Positive.” Marbelma said. “The fucker even admitted to it.”
“How did you know it was him?” Tendalel said.
“I heard him saying ‘piksap.’” Marbelma replied. “He said the same thing the night he murdered my parents. I’d know his voice anywhere.”
“Strange.” Tendalel said. “‘Piksap’ is actually a goblin curse word. Why would a troll know it?”
Marbelma paused in thought. It WAS strange, now that she thought about it. In fact… “He didn’t really talk with a troll accent.” she realized. “He talked more like a….goblin, if anything.”
“Interesting. Did you get his name?” Ten asked.
Marbelma shook her head. “I had him dead to rights before he caught me off guard.” She reached up and touched the claw marks that dominated the left side of her face, nearly taking her eye. “Didn’t see the point in learning his name.”
“Well, without knowing his name, it’s gonna be harder to find him in the future.” Tendalel said.
“Assuming he survives this battle.” Marbelma said. As much she wanted to kill him herself, she’d settle for seeing his corpse piled among the hundred other Horde corpses that will be collected once this battle is over.
“And if he doesn’t?” the rogue asked.
Marbelma scowled at the void elf. “What business is it of yours, anyway?” she demanded.
“I’m a rogue, but more specifically, I’m a spy.” Tendalel said. “I’m less about assassination and more gathering intelligence. Wouldn’t be the first time I had to track someone down. Granted, it’d be hard without a name, but a troll with a goblin accent? Not many of those in the world. I’m pretty sure I can find a name soon enough.”
“…And what would it cost me?” Marbelma asked. She knew that rogues of all stripes never did anything for free.
“Oh, I’ll think of something.” Ten replied with a wink. “Favor for a favor.”
It was then that the group heard a series of explosions coming from the Ruins of Lordaeron. They turned around and stared, wide-eyed, as clouds of blight erupted from all the buildings...
And began to pour towards them.
“Move!” Rhyliaandra barked as the withdrawing Alliance forces all broke out in a run for Brill, away from the blight. Thankfully, they all had a decent headstart on the blight, and were able to make it to Brill safely just before the blight stopped just shy of its outskirts. After catching their breath, the Champions of the Alliance all looked up at the city and stared in horror.
Jakko really shouldn’t have been surprised by what he saw from the railings of the Horde gunship he and the others had been ported to. The Ruins of Lordaeron were completely covered in blight - Sylvanas’s final contingency, no doubt. He should’ve known that she would rather destroy her own city rather than allow it to fall into Alliance hands.
The Champions of the Horde looked on as the gunship they all managed to evacuate onto turned west and flew for Kalimdor. It was bittersweet. They had lost a strategically valuable city, and with it, most of Lordaeron. But they could at least take comfort in the fact that the Alliance wouldn’t be able to use the city as a fortress of their own, like they were likely planning.
The Forsaken had taken it the hardest. They weren’t an emotional people, but they seemed even more melancholic than usual. Jakko sympathized with them, despite himself. They had just lost their home, after all.
Just as the night elves had lost theirs.
Guess we’re even, now. he ruefully thought to himself.
Though that’s probably not how the Alliance sees it.
Right now, the Horde was en route back to Orgrimmar, where it will heal its wounded, bury its dead, and plan what its next move. The Alliance will likely do the same, sailing back to Stormwind. Jakko didn’t really know what was going to happen after that. After taking so many losses in the Battle for Lordaeron, it was hard to imagine the Horde, or the Alliance for that matter, mustering enough strength for another battle of this scale anytime soon.
But it was also hard to imagine either the High King or the Warchief giving up so easily.
Jakko knew one thing for sure, though. This wasn’t over. Not by a long shot. This wasn’t Warsong Gulch or Arathi Basin. This wasn’t some glorified slap fight over flags or resources in some box canyon in the middle of nowhere. This was it. The big one. The final showdown between Alliance and Horde.
The Battle for Azeroth.
And it was just getting started.
The Battle For Lordaeron: Part VI - Psychology
Spritzie slammed another trio of shells into her triple-barred shotgun before unloading another volley into the approaching Alliance. She growled in frustration - for every humans she shot down, two more took their place. There was no end to them.
Fine. Let them come. She’ll turn every single one of them into swiss cheese for what they did to her baby! She lunged at a nearby worgen, who was seemingly caught off-guard by the fact that such a tiny goblin would be brave enough to take him head-on. She relished the look on his face as she unloaded a round into his chest. She heard a rumor that only a silver bullet can kill a worgen, but the corpse before her told her that lead worked just as well. She reloaded as she scanned the battlefield for her next victim…
And spotted a very familiar-looking draenei.
Crystal and Verde’s murderer!
She whistled for her wolf, Scruffy, and her wasp, Gigi, and ordered them to charge at the draenei.
“Gah!” Roniaar gasped as a large wolf nearly tackled him to the ground, but his natural strength and tall stature allowed him to stand his ground. The wolf growled and slobbered as it gnawed on his arm. He spotted a wasp hovering overhead, stinger at the ready. The shaman had to time this right…
As the wasp lunged, he swung out the arm with the wolf hanging onto it and fired off a lightning bolt with his other arm. Bullseye! He then grabbed one of his wind-axes and brought it down onto the wolf, who whimpered as it let go and let out a death rattle.
“NOOOO!” a goblin shrieked as she charged forward, shotgun at the ready. Roniaar recognized her as the goblin from before. “STOP MURDERING MY BABIES!”
Thinking quick, Roniaar summoned a slab of earth from the ground just in time to block the incoming bullets. “I would if they’d stop trying to maul me to death!”
As he hid from the goblin’s barrage, he looked around, trying to spot Marbelma. He saw her run off toward a collapsed battlement before he lost track of her. Oh Light, please let her be-
There!
Roniaar spotted Marbelma up on the battlements, locked in a heated dual with a troll that had two large swords. It looked like she needed backup. He transformed into a ghost wolf and tried to make a break for the collapsed battlements.
It was then that he was hit by something hard, like a kodo just ran him over. It tossed him several yards, knocking him out of wolf form as he tumbled across the ground. He looked up and saw the source - a big, angry direhorn. Perched on top of it was a rylak, both heads hissing at the draenei. To the direhorn’s left was a jade quilen and to its right was a riverbeast.
And standing off to the side was a goblin with a whistle in her mouth, leering at the draenei.
How many pets does this goblin have?!
Alright, fine. If that’s the way this goblin wants to play it…
Roniaar muttered a few words in Kalimag as wind, water vapor, clumps of dirt, and embers all swirled around his hands. When he first landed here, he felt that the elements of this land were in anguish - no doubt the result of years of Forsaken polluting the land with their blight. He beseeched their aid, telling of how the Alliance sought to free this land from the Forsaken’s undead grip, and if they saw this cause as a righteous one, please, help.
The elements answered.
An air elemental swirled into being out of the very air itself. A water elemental did so as well, swirling into existence out of the water vapor in the air. A rumbling earth elemental clawed its way up from beneath the soil. And a fire elemental seemed to erupt from a simple spark. The goblin’s beasts all growled at the draenei’s elementals.
“As you can see, you’re not the only one with little friends.” Roniaar boasted.
“I RAISED my beasts for combat practically from infancy!” the goblin shouted. “All you’re doing is hiring local help to do your dirty work for you!”
“We shall see…” Roniaar said before he and his elementals charged, clashing with the goblin and her beasts.
“Ah-ha!” Soozee triumphantly cried out as he finally grabbed that slippery void elf. He tried to struggle, but it was no use - her mech’s claws could squeeze him at 2000 PSI, enough to break every bone in the elf’s body!
And that’s when the elf poofed again. “SON OF GNOMEREGAN WHORE WHERE DID YOU GO?!?!” Soozee shrieked, getting sick and tired of this cat-and-mouse bullshit.
She heard a whistle. She looked over her shoulder and saw the void elf sitting on the mech’s shoulders. “Question.” he asked as he held out a bunch of wires. “Were these important?”
That’s when the void-buster started to shake and spark. “YOU IDIOT!!!” Soozee said as she checked the mech’s readings. “THOSE WERE CONNECTED TO THE VOID BUSTER’S INTERNAL STABILIZERS!!! IT’S ABOUT TO GO INTO MELT DOWN!!!”
“That’s what I thought. Bye!” And just like that, the void elf disappeared into another spatial rift.
“SHIT!” Soozee swore as she pulled on a red lever that activated the mech’s ejector seat, activating a rocket that shot high into the air. Unable to contain the power of the void core, the mech imploded, sucked into the small black hole that had opened inside its engine compartment. The Void-Buster was no more, as though it never even existed.
It occurred to Soozee that the ejector seat might’ve had a touch too much rocket fuel, as she was now so high that she could see ALL of the Ruins of Lordaeron and the surrounding Tirisfal Glades. From up here, the battle resembled a large, very elaborate diorama.
When the parachute automatically deployed, the winds took her slightly away from the battle, which was just as well. With her Void Buster gone, she wasn’t quite as confidant in her odds of surviving a battle of this scale. Furthermore, as she squinted through her goggles, she could see that the Alliance was slowly but surely pushing the Horde out of the courtyard. The Horde was losing this battle.
That’s when Soozee remembered that she still had family down there. Jakko and Spritzie.
“…Curse my familial obligations.” Soozee muttered as she took manual control of the parachute and steered it back toward the battle. She landed on top of the far southern wall - quite a distance away from most of the fighting, but not so far that she couldn’t help out her siblings if she needed to.
“Nice landing.”
“Thank you.” Soozee replied to the void elf.
…The Void Elf!
Tendalel couldn’t resist a healthy chuckle as the goblin freaked out at his presence. He knew he shouldn’t be so far from the battle, but A: The Alliance was pushing through and at this point, it’s only a matter of time before the city falls. And B: After all the trouble this goblin had put him through, he was feeling just petty enough to come over and rub his victory in her face for a bit before going back and helping out.
“So yeah - a void-powered mech. Gotta admit, that’s a new one.” Tendalel said. “Course, leave it to a goblin to think using the void as a power source is a good idea.”
“Oh hi Pot, name’s Kettle, have we met?” the goblin replied as she stood up and glared at the elf through her goggles.
“Hey, I didn’t ask for this little dye job.” he said, pointing to his purple hair. “Hell, I wasn’t even one of Umbric’s followers. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. It’s kind of a long story.”
“You void elves…” the goblin growled. “I’ve been studying the Void for YEARS! I’ve had to WORK to get to where I am today! But you….you had all the secrets and power of the Void just DROPPED into your LAP!”
“Clearly, you’ve never had a crazy ethereal try to forcibly change you into a void abomination. For the record, it’s not fun.” Tendalel said. An explosion was heard in the distance, rising over the din of the battle. “As much as I’d love to stay and chat, it sounds like I’m needed elsewhere. Ciao.”
And with that, he leapt through another spatial rift…
…But was dragged back?
Tendalel turned around and saw that a void tentacle had wrapped around his ankle and pulled him back through the rift. He looked up and saw that the tentacle was attached to the goblin’s shoulder -a goblin now shrouded in shadow magic. “You are NOT escaping me again…” she growled.
“A shadow priest…” Tendalel said. “That explains a lot.”
“I am NOT a shadow priest!” the goblin shrieked. “I’m not some cultist or hack theologian! I am an Ebonologist! I do not worship or revere the Void, I study it! I harness its power and I make it mine!”
“You don’t say.” Tendalel deadpanned before swiping at the tendril with one of his daggers, cutting it off. As he stood up, he smirked underneath his mask. “Fun fact…”
Several void tendrils appeared from his own shoulder. “I can do the tentacle thing too.” he said.
“Then we shall see who handles a tentacle better!” the goblin shouted.
Tendalel snickered.
“…Wha-THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT AND YOU KNOW IT!”
The clang of metal against metal continually rang in Jakko’s ears as he blocked and parried the dwarf’s hammer strikes, dodging whatever he couldn’t block. He had to admit though, the dwarf was pretty good in a fight. She was likewise quick to dodge, block and parry every attack he made.
He’d probably respect her for her skill if he wasn’t getting increasingly frustrated by this dwarf’s stubborn refusal to piss off.
He crossed his blades in the air, blocking an overhead hammer strike, just like he did during their first duel on the bombing run. “Yeesh, kid.” he panted - battle fatigue was finally catching up to him. “Where’d you even learn to fight like this?”
“The paladin who saved me from you?” the dwarf asked. “She took me in. Trained me in the ways of the Light. Every day since, I’ve been training twelve hours a day, honing my body, mind and even my very soul into weapons of the Light!”
“You need to go on a date, kid.” the troll quipped.
The dwarf roared. Apparently, that made her angry. She pulled her hammer back and swung it horizontally at the troll, but he hopped back out of the way. He jumped and delivered a roundhouse kick to her face.
Spritzie loaded multi-shot ammo into her shotgun before firing another round at the elementals, looking to help her pets however she could. It faintly reminded her of a Hearthstone match - beast hunter vs. elemental shaman. Except this wasn’t a friendly card match and the stakes were much, MUCH higher than who pays for the next round.
She spotted the draenei beyond who was….trying to run away? Oh no he won’t! She clicked together her heels, activating her rocket boots and jumping forward, landing on the draenei’s back and wrapping her arms around his neck. He gagged and, using his race’s natural strength, pried her arms off and bucked her off. Not sparing her a second thought however, he continued running, towards a collapsed section of the battlements.
“Hold on, Marbles! I’m coming!” he shouted. Spritzie then noticed Jakko and some dwarf with a big hammer dueling on the battlements above, where the draenei was climbing up to. Now she understood - the dwarf must’ve been his buddy, and he’s trying to lend her a hand.
Not on her watch.
Spritzie pulled out a hand grenade, something no self-respecting goblin ever left home without, pulled the pin, and threw it up at the pile of debris the shaman was scaling. A second later, it exploded, triggering an avalanche and burying him. She grinned in satisfaction.
A grin that disappeared however, as the shaman emerged from the rubble, completely unscathed. Indeed, it was as though the rocks seemed to protect him more than-
Oh. Right. Shaman.
“Just walk away.” the draenei said. “I do not wish to fight you.”
“Well I do.” Spritzie said as she spat on the ground. “After today, they won’t find enough of you to fill the nut sack of an ant.” On that colorful note, she raised her gun and fired.
Tendalel had been on the run for several minutes, dodging void bolt after void bolt. He had leapt down from the battlements was now running through a network of overgrown alleyways, the goblin in hot pursuit.
“Stop your resisting.” the goblin said, her voice seemingly coming from everywhere. No doubt a void trick. He wondered if he could do that. “I will find you.”
“Yeah, you’re not the first clingy girl to say that, and you probably won’t be the last.” Tendalel said as he ducked around a corner.
“Damn it, stop wasting my time!” she ranted. “I’ve already wasted enough time just SHOWING UP to this pointless battle and fight in this pointless war! I’m not going home empty-handed - mama needs some ren’dorei organs!”
“Yeah, I’d rather not end up as some crazy goblin’s science experiment, so no.” Tendalel quipped. “Though I gotta ask, if this battle is pointless, why are you even here?”
“First of all, personal reasons.” the goblin said. “Secondly, I came here in the hopes of acquiring fresh ren’dorei bodies for my research. Your bodies are conduits for the Void, and yet you seem capable of resisting its whispers. I must understand why.”
“Oh, must you?” Tendalel asked. “What’s wrong? Are the whispers getting to you? Or maybe the nightmares?”
The goblin only growled in reply. “Sorry baby, but if you’re thinking that the key to your salvation lies somewhere in my small intestines or whatever, you are sorely mistaken.”
“…Let’s test that hypothesis, shall we?”
It was then that Tendalel felt multiple void tendrils wrap themselves around him and pull him through some kind of void portal - and not one that he made.
Marbelma ignored the protests of her arching arm muscles as she swung her hammer for what felt like the fiftieth time at the troll, once again to no avail. She should’ve known. She should’ve known that the monster who’d been haunting her nightmares for the last ten years wouldn’t die so easily. But she wasn’t going to give up. Not after everything she’d been through.
After catching her hammer again, the troll pushed her back and away, thought not by much. She snarled as she once again raised her hammer over her head and tried to bring it down on the troll. She missed entirely this time. She was getting tired. And judging from the smirk on the troll’s face, he knew it too.
“Think it might be time to call it a day, kid.” he said.
“Fuck you.” she spat.
The troll paused. Then sighed. “I’m sorry.” he said.
Marbelma must be getting tired. She could’ve sworn he said…. “What?” she asked.
“I’m sorry.” the troll repeated. “For killing your family. For ruining your life. Back in those days, I was a real piece of work. It’s why I became a druid. Felt like I needed to make up for all the bad I’ve done.”
Marbelma looked at him, more dumbfounded than anything. He looked back down at the courtyard below, where the skirmish raged on. He turned back to her. “Look, I can see the writing on the wall.” he said as he sheathed his swords. “The Alliance just keeps comin’ and with Jaina Proudmoore leadin’ the way, it’s only a matter of time before the Horde loses this battle. Now, I’ve still got family down there and at this point, I just wanna grab ‘em and get outta here while I still can.”
The dwarf panted. It was only now that she realized just how tired she really was. “…You’re sorry?” she asked.
The troll nodded.
The dwarf roared in fury, swinging her hammer at his torso while his guard was down, finally knocking him down. She snarled as she tossed the hammer aside and straddled him. Grabbing a fistful of hair with her right hand, she started punching him in the face with her left.
“SORRY DOESN’T BRING BACK GILNEAS!!!”
Wham.
“SORRY DOESN’T BRING BACK THERAMORE!!!”
Wham!
“SORRY DOESN’T BRING BACK TELDRASSIL!!!”
WHAM!
She paused. Her left fist opened up, fingers spread, and the hand glowed with Holy Light. “Sorry doesn’t bring back my family.” she hissed. She planted the glowing hand on the side of the troll’s face and burned him with the Light.
“Just walk away!” Roniaar shouted as he tossed another bolt of lightning at the piece of rubble the goblin was hiding behind. “I have more elemental power than you have bullets!”
The goblin wouldn’t relent though, and would occasionally blind-fire at the shaman, and come uncomfortably close to missing. He checked on the elementals and found that they were winning - without their mistress to lend them aid, the beasts stood little chance against the fury of the elements. The direhorn was being pulled beneath the earth, the rylak was being blown out of the sky, the riverbeast was being drowned and even the quilen’s stone hide was melting under the heat. “Give it up! You cannot win this fight!” he bellowed.
“I’ve still got one ace up my sleeve.” she growled before letting out a sharp whistle.
Roniaar felt the ground shake. And not from the earth elemental he summoned to his aid earlier. He turned around and saw a truly massive blue hydra galloping towards the shaman, biting and hissing as it charged towards him, trampling several Alliance soldiers underfoot. It skidded to a halt and roared at the draenei, its hide crackling with electrical energy.
“Say hello to Rilla!” Spritzie shouted. “My strongest, most feared beast!”
“Most feared beast, eh?” Roniaar asked. “I should say so. It seems downright…electrifying! Hahahahaa!”
The hyrdra roared.
“Hahaha…..ha….Oh, I’m going to die.”
The hydra lunged.
Soozee grinned maniacally as she finally had the slippery elf right where she wanted him - with her void tentacles tying him down against a wall. “You know…normally, I’ve got to buy a girl dinner before they tie me up like this…” he wheezed as he strained against his bindings.
As she pulled out her dagger, she made a mental note to start by slitting his throat.
“Normally, I do most of my dissections in my lab.” Soozee said as she pulled some plastic bags from her belt. “But I don’t mind a bit of field work from time to time…”
It was then that she noticed a void tendril wrapping itself around her arm. Followed by another around her other arm and even one around her neck, all seeming to be coming from the floor. “I can do the tentacle thing too, remember?” he wheezed.
“I can see that…” Soozee wheezed back. “It seems we’ve reached an impasse…”
The two void users spent the next several minutes staring each other down, tangled and strangled by each other’s tendrils.
Pain. That was all Jakko’s world was for a good thirty seconds - blinding, burning pain. The dwarf was searing her handprint into his face with the raw, burning fury of the Holy Light. Finally, she took his hand off his face, dismounted, and threw him to the floor hard enough to make him see spots. At least the headache he had now helped to take his mind off the burning, smoking flesh on the right side of his face.
“You’re just like the rest of the Horde, when all’s said and done.” she snarled. “You talk about redemption and atonement, thinking that cleans yer plate of all yer crimes. Well lemme tell ye a dirty little secret - nobody fucking cares about your redemption.”
She walked back over to where she dropped her hammer and picked it up. “When you commit acts of evil, you’re not the one who decides how you should be punished for it.”
“…And you are?” Jakko grunted.
“Who better?” the dwarf shot back as she walked over to the disfigured troll with murderous intent.
Welp. Guess this is it. Jakko thought to himself for the second time that day. He gave it his all, but this paladin beat him fair and square. An ‘honorable death’ as the orcs would call it. It was better than hacking up a lung in a cloud of blight, at least. Hell, this was downright poetic. A part of him always knew that it would be someone from his past that would finally kill him, but he always figured it would be someone from his old assassin’s guild, none too pleased that he left. Maybe even the guild leader…
But no. Turns out he wasn’t that important. No, the sins of his past had come in the form of someone he had well and truly hurt. Someone with fire and rage in her soul and, honestly, Jakko couldn’t very well blame her. As he heard the dwarf approach, he closed his eyes and hoped the final blow wouldn’t hurt too much.
…But then he thought about Spritzie. Lately she had been getting wilder. More rebellious. With the death of several of her beloved pets in this battle, he feared she was only gonna get worse. Who was gonna be there to keep her from doing something stupid at a critical moment?
What about Soozee? Her research was driving her to look at things no mortal should look at. Who was gonna be there to help her from diving straight into the abyss? She’s already on the edge as it is.
…And Vorz’ka. There’s a name Jakko had been trying to forget the last few weeks. His last meeting with his girlfriend didn’t end on great terms. Would she grieve? Would she miss him? Would she regret that their very last meeting ended in an argument.
The thoughts whizzed through his mind over the course of seconds. Names of old friends, estranged family, business left unfinished. He suddenly arrived at a conclusion.
I can’t die now. I still got shit to do!
He rolled out of the way, just as the dwarf’s hammer met the floor.
He quickly morphed into a tiger and, able to catch the dwarf off guard and swiped at her with his right paw, delivering a savage claw swipe right to her face. She screamed as she gripped the three gashes on her face, gushing blood. Now was his chance. He lowered his head and performed a skull bash so hard it dented her armor - Spritzie always said he had a thick head.
Morphing back into troll form, he punted the dwarf to the other end of the battlement. Using his most powerful druidic magic, he commanded the roots that had grown over the long-ruined walls to ensnare and entangle the paladin. The dwarf snarled as she struggled against the vines. “YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!” she cursed. “WHY WON’T YOU JUST DIE?!?!”
“Because I decided I wasn’t gonna roll over and die just so you can vent your teenage angst.” Jakko replied before spitting on the ground. “I’m still sorry for what I did to your family, but I’ve got my own family to think about.” On that note, he turned around and walked away.
“THIS ISN’T OVER YOU BASTARD!!!” the dwarf shrieked. “I’LL HUNT YOU TO THE ENDS OF AZEROTH!!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!?!” Jakko couldn’t really hear, as he had already leapt off the wall.
Spritzie watched in delight as Rilla threw the draenei around like a big rag doll, her acidic saliva melting parts of his armor. “Spritz!” she heard Jakko cry as he sprinted over in tiger form. “You okay?”
“Watching my babies’ murderer get used as a chew toy? Never better!” Spritzie replied. She winced as she looked at Jakko. “Shit, Jakko. What happened to your face?”
Jakko pawed the right side of his face, where there seemed to be a hand print literally burned into his skin like a brand. “Close encounter with a paladin.” he briefly explained.
Meanwhile, Rilla had finally let the draenei go, sending him flying into a wall. He hit the stone wall hard and collapsed on the ground, spitting out some blue blood. Spritzie giggled evilly as she approached the draenei with murderous intent. “Spritz, we don’t have time for this, we need to find Soo-“
“Shut it!” Spritzie snapped. “This’ll only take a minute anyways…” she said as she lined up her shotgun on the draenei’s head, getting ready for the execution shot. The draenei was on all fours, muttering something the goblin couldn’t quite hear. “Pray all you want - your Naa’ru ain’t gonna save you from a bunch of lead pellets tearing through your flesh.”
That’s when his body started to crackle with electrical energy. “Spritz…I don’t think he’s prayin’ to the naa’ru….” Jakko said.
In a flash of light, a bolt of lightning had seemingly struck the draenei from the sky, and enveloping him in a tornado. His form began to change. His flesh gave way to raw, elemental energy. Spritzie tried to unload her ammo on him, but it the lead seemed to just bounce off of some electrical barrier that now surrounded the shaman. “What’s happening?!” Spritzie demanded.
“He ascended!” Jakko said.
“What the fuck does THAT mean?!” Spritzie asked.
“COWER BEFORE THE TEMPEST STORM!” the no-longer-draenei shouted as it conjured a massive bolt of lightning that nearly missed the two of them.
“We need to get out of here!” Jakko said before grabbing Spritzie by the collar of her shirt in his mouth, like an unruly cub, and throwing her onto his back and running off. She cursed before whistling for Rilla to follow them, which the every-loyal hydra did. The ascendant gave chase however, as a literal tornado chased the two of them across the courtyard.
“Where’s Soozee?!” Jakko yelled.
“I saw her eject before her mech blew up!” Spritzie shouted. “I think she landed somewhere on the Southern Wall!”
“WINDS! OBEY MY COMMANDS!” the ascendent shouted and suddenly the winds around them shifted. The wind was blowing Jakko, Spritzie and Rilla away from the Southern Wall they had been running to, and towards the ascendent’s electrifying grasp.
As they struggled against the winds pulling them towards certain doom, one of Rilla’s heads turned to Spritzie and made eye contact with her. It flicked out her tongue, and nodded. Spritzie gasped.
“Rilla! No!” she shouted too late, as the hydra turned on its heels and lunged at the ascendent. The panicked elemental flew up into his tornado with the hydra hanging on, bolts of lightning flying from both of them. It had distracted the elemental enough that the winds were no longer pulling Jakko and Spritzie towards it.
“Come on!” Jakko said as he morphed into a bat and carried Spritzie over the wall. “We gotta find Soozee!”
“But what about Rilla?!” Spritzie asked. “Jakko, all my other pets died in this battle! Rilla’s all I got left!”
“…Rilla attacked that thing to give us a chance to get away.” Jakko said. “Best way to honor that sacrifice is to take that chance.”
Spritzie had to fight back tears. She couldn’t cry. Not yet, at least. The battle wasn’t over.
But as the Alliance continued to push against the Horde, it sure as hell looked like the battle was over.
“Okay.” Tendalel wheezed, the tentacle still having a firm grip on his neck. His own tentacles, however, were still wrapped around the goblin’s throat and arms. “We both agree this is stupid, right? I mean, if we snap each other’s necks at the same time, than nobody gains anything.”
“Correct.” the goblin said.
“Okay then. So on the count of three, we both let go. Ready?”
“Ready.”
“One….Two…..Three!”
Neither of them let go of the other.
“…Okay, see? Now I’m just disappointed in both of us.”
“You were trying to trick me!” the goblin shrieked.
“So were you!”
“No, I was trying to counter-trick your trick!”
“Counter-tricking is not a real term!”
“Well, it SHOULD BE!”
Tendalel and the goblin stared each other down for a few seconds. “…You know, I just realized. This situation is a perfect micro-chasm of the Horde and Alliance’s current conundrum.” the goblin said.
“How’s that?” the rogue asked.
“We are two opposing forces, ready to kill each other in a heartbeat.” she elaborated. “Neither of us are willing to lower our guard, for fear of destruction from the other. Thus, we are locked in an eternal struggle that will likely end with both of our deaths.”
“Are you seriously giving me that age-old ‘Alliance and Horde aren’t so different’ speech?” Tendalel asked. “Cuz A: I’ve heard it before. And B: It’s kind of inaccurate.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The Horde is WAY worse than the Alliance.”
“You’re invading one of our cities!”
“Only because you literally burned down one of ours!”
“What about Camp Tau-“
“I will snap your neck if you bring up Camp Taurajo.” Tendalel threatened. “Raiding a dinky little tauren village in the middle of nowhere is NOT the same as destroying cities and razing kingdoms.”
“Oh, why all the patriotic fervor anyway?” the goblin demanded. “Just a year ago, you were a blood elf! You were as Horde as I am! Why the sudden Alliance enthusiasm?”
“Because I kinda have to!” Tendalel replied.
“What are you talking about now?” the goblin groaned.
“Look, before I went Void, yeah, I was a regular old blood elf.” Tendalel said. “And like most blood elves, I wasn’t exactly an Alliance fan boy back then. But I knew that if things didn’t work out Horde-side, all I had to do was pop in some blue contact lenses and voila - I’m a High Elf! Yes, High King, I’ve been with the Silver Covenant all my life, never sided with those dirty blood elves, no sir. And if shit hits the fan in Stormwind? Out come the lenses and back to the Horde I go!”
He paused for a breath, which the tentacle only barely allowed him. “But after I started growing tentacles in places I shouldn’t, all of a sudden, I’m exiled from the Horde and I can’t exactly put in green contact lenses and blend in. Thanks to Umbric and his pack of crazies, I actually have a dog in this fight now! If the Horde wins this war, I’m screwed.”
“What are you expecting? Sympathy?” the goblin demanded. “I’ve got a lab back in Kalimdor that contains crucial research on the Old Gods, the ones we should REALLY be fighting! But if the Alliance get their way, the entirety of the Horde will be ejected from Kalimdor and my lab would be! If the Alliance wins this war, I’M screwed!”
That’s when another goblin showed up, riding atop a large bat. “Soozee!” the bat said. That bat talks now? “There you are! We gotta get outta here!”
“I’d love to, but I’m a little pre-occupied at the moment!” the goblin, Soozee was apparently her name, shouted back.
“On it!” the goblin on top of the bat said as she pointed her shotgun at Tendalel.
“Woah there!” Ten shouted. “Lower the shotgun or I snap your friend’s neck!” Just to prove he wasn’t joking around, his tentacle tightened its grip on Soozee’s throat.
“Lower your gun, Spritz!” Soozee wheezed and gouged.
“But-“
“Just do it!”
The other goblin, Spritzie obeyed and lowered her shotgun, giving the void elf a withering look.
“Okay…so here’s what’s gonna happen.” Ten said. “It sounds like you guys just wanna get outta here. So do I. So on the count of three, both me and…Soozee, was it? We let go of each other. Okay….one…..two…..three!”
Tendalel let Soozee go - a risky move on his part, but he didn’t have much of a choice. He had to meet the goblin half-way at least, otherwise they’d still be stuck in this stalemate and nothing gets accomplished. It was a calculated risk.
And as he let go of Soozee, he realized that he wasn’t too good at math, because while he let her go, she didn’t return the favor. “Okay….Soozee…..we had a deal….” Ten wheezed.
“A deal that I never officially agreed to.” Soozee said. “You just said you were gonna let me go, did so, and foolishly presumed I would reciprocate when I’d have no reason to.”
She calmly approached the void elf and removed a dagger from her belt. “Now…give me a reason why I shouldn’t dissect you right here and now…”
“RETREAT!”
All ears turned to the Southern Courtyard, where the unmistakable booming voice of High Chieftain Baine Bloodhoof echoed through the halls of the city. “RETREAT!”
“…Because you’re out of time.” Ten wheezed. “You’ve got two choices now - stay here and torture little old me until the Alliance overrun the city, find you here, and they probably won’t take too kindly to you chopping up one of their top guys. Or, you can do the smart thing, and follow the rest of your Horde to fight another day. Your call.”
Even though Ten couldn’t see Soozee’s eyes through those ridiculous goggles, he could FEEL her hateful gaze punch through them. Finally, her tentacles allowed Ten to drop to the ground. “Good choice, Soo.” Ten said before he disappeared into a spatial rift.
The Battle For Lordaeron: Part V - Momentum
By the time Jakko and Spritzie made it to the Southern Courtyard, there were plenty of Horde, but no Alliance. Jakko tapped a random dreadguard on the shoulder. “Yo - where’s the Alliance?” he asked.
“They haven’t reached us yet.” the dreadguard replied. “Last I heard, Windseeker Durja and his forces managed to intercept them. They’re buying us time to prepare.
Jakko nodded and jogged over to where Spritzie was - chatting up with Soozee as the latter powered up her void-buster mech.
“There you are.” Spritzie said as she twirled her rifle. “You ready?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.” Jakko said as he withdrew his swords. He spied Johriah riding up and down the line atop his deathcharger, addressing his troops.
“Stand ready! The Alliance will be here any minute now!” he shouted.
It was then that a pair of large bats flew towards Johriah on the battle lines, morphing back into troll druids. “Da Alliance be comin’!” one of them shouted.
“Where’s Durja?” Johriah asked.
“Dead. His entire force got wiped out.” the druid said. “We da only ones who got away.”
“He held ‘em back as long as he could.” the other druid said. “But…Lady Proudmoore is wit’ dem! She be powerful and she be pissed and she be comin’ our way!” the other druid panicked. The death knight slapped him with the flat of his sword.
“Get a hold of yourself, man!” Johriah barked. He turned to the rest of his platoon. “Do not lose heart! We still have the advantage here! This is where we shall stand our ground! For the Horde!”
“FOR THE HORDE!” the crowd echoed.
The Horde army waited nervously for the Alliance to arrive, checking and rechecking their weapons. Then, the Alliance poured into the courtyard, charging into the Horde lines. The Horde charged right back. The two armies clashed hard in the middle of the courtyard.
Spritzie was in the thick of it, cutting down Alliance troops with her shotgun, howling in fury. Her riverbeast, Bruce, was impaled by Alliance pikes - a death that did not go unavenged. She spared the animal’s body a brief glance before whirling around on the Alliance and firing more. Sorry, Bruce, but I don’t have time to grieve you. Right now, mama’s got a battle to win…
Elsewhere along the front, Soozee laughed maniacally as her void buster decimated the Alliance soldiers. Humans and dwarves fled before her as the mech hounded them with bullets and void bolts. Soozee paused in her megalomania to check her mech’s readings - the Void Buster had never been pushed this far before, so she worried it might overload. But according to the readings, everything was operating within acceptable parameters. Satisfied that there was no immediate danger of that, she resumed her maniacal cackling.
As Jakko disemboweled a particularly unlucky kaldorei ranger, he paused and looked around, taking stock of the battle. He could see massive explosions of fire and ice on the other side of the courtyard - Jaina Proudmoore, no doubt. Jakko had no intention of getting that close to the legendary mage - she was someone else’s problem as far as he was concerned. Despite Proudmoore’s presence, the Horde was holding the line surprisingly well. Maybe this battle could still be won, but Jakko remembered what happened last time he got his hopes up. He was still ready to grab his sisters and make a break for it the moment things go tits up.
And it seemed that moment was upon them, as a large, dark portal suddenly appeared on the Alliance’s side of the battle, elves leaping out and joining the fray, along with several gnomish war machines. “Oh fuck, are those what I think they are…?” he muttered to himself. And sure enough, the way they ‘glowed’ black, as oxymoronic as that sounds, made it impossible to mistake the newcomers for anything else.
“Void elves…” Soozee growled as her mech stomped up to Jakko’s side, confirming the druid’s fear. Her machine’s wrists twirled and its claws flexed, ready to grab something. “The Alliance must be getting desperate if they’re calling in THEM. Damn the High King, he doesn’t realize he’s playing with fire!”
This was bad - between the gnomish ordinance and the void elves’ unnatural powers, the Horde forces were getting torn to shreds. If somebody didn’t do something about them and soon, it wouldn’t be long before the Alliance breaks through the defenses and wins.
Jakko had to do something.
“Keep those void suckers away from Spritzie! I got an idea!” Jakko said as he morphed into a bat and flew off.
“Roger that!” Soozee said as her void-buster’s engines revved up. She’d been meaning to study the ren’dorei for months now, and this was the perfect opportunity to ‘collect some samples.’
“Peekaboo!” Tendalel shouted as he appeared behind a tauren that Marbelma had been locked in melee with, thrusting both daggers into the massive creature’s spine before it fell over like a great felled tree. “Hey kid - miss me?”
“Tendalel?” Marbelma asked. “What are you doin’ here? I thought SI:7 was done with this battle.”
“SI:7 was, but not the ren’dorei.” Ten answered. “After you guys started assaulting the main gate, Alleria herself rallied the void elves together to form a cavalry force, should things go tits up.” He then looked around the courtyard. “Which evidently, they have.”
Indeed, even with Proudmoore by their side, the Horde wasn’t budging an inch. The Alliance was beginning to run out of steam and the attack would’ve failed. But with the timely arrival of the ren’dorei, the Alliance forces had been granted a second wind. They’ll yet win this fight!
It was then that Tendalel noticed a large, modified goblin shredder charing into the ren’dorei forces, trying to grab someone in its claws. He patted the young dwarf on the head. “Keep your head down, kid.” he said as he disappeared into shadow - he’d always had a talent for stealth as a blood elf, but the talent was taken to new heights by his recently-granted powers over darkness.
He leapt onto the mech’s back and ripped off a panel, looking inside at all the internal circuitry. “Okay, uh…..This looks important!” he said as he grabbed a red wire and ripped it out. The mech didn’t cease its assault, but the canopy DID open to reveal its goblin pilot. Awesome, now he just needed to climb inside, kill the pilot, and presto - no more mech. He climbed up the mech’s back…
Only to get hit by a void bolt its pilot had somehow conjured. The force of the impact knocked him off the mech and tumbling across the ground, but the rogue was quick to recover. The goblin turned her mech around to stare him down.
“You, my friend, have just volunteered to be my new test subject!” the pilot shouted. Tendalel didn’t know what that meant, but it probably wasn’t anything good. This was confirmed by the machine gun on the mech’s wrist unloading on him - he ripped open a spatial rift to get out of the way and into cover behind a fallen pillar.
“You think your void powers will save you?!” the goblin shrieked. “Well, you void elves aren’t the only ones with power over the Void!” she fired a round of missiles at the pillar, obliterating it. Ten leapt just before the missiles detonated, but he felt the blast area tinged with an energy that he was, by now, intimately familiar with.
“Were those VOID missiles?” he shouted back.
“Yes!” the goblin replied.
“I didn’t even know you could MAKE missiles with Void!” Tendalel shouted.
“Of course you don’t!” the goblin replied. “I’ve been studying the Void for YEARS! I had to WORK for my power over it, while you were just HANDED your power on a SILVER PLATTER!”
“I sense a bit of jealousy.” Tendalel said.
“You void elves are like children with guns!” Soozee replied. “You’ve no true RESPECT for the Void’s powers!”
“I respect it enough to know how to do this.” Ten quipped before disappearing into another spatial rift.
“Hey! Stop doing that!” the goblin demanded.
While Soozee was keeping the void elves busy, Jakko flew up to the bastion where Stoneheart landed. The hippogryph was still there, and even still had those five bombs attached! Perfect! He morphed back into his troll form and mounted the beast and snapped the reigns. The feathermane cried before hopping off his perch and flying back to the courtyard.
Jakko flew over a crowd of void elves firing void bolts at the Horde forces where he dropped one of the bombs. The bomb detonated in a shower of fire, shrapnel, and bits of purple goo that used to be ren’dorei. The druid cheered. “Take that, shadow-suckers!”
Satisfied with having taken a good chunk out of the ren’dorei’s numbers, Jakko flew over to rest of the Alliance front, dropping another bomb, this time on the regular Alliance infantry that were coming in Spritzie’s direction. Another detonation and bits of armor and gore erupted into the air. “Spritzie! Get outta there!” Jakko shouted.
“No!” Spritzie shouted back. “If I run now, they all died for nothing! I’m seeing this through to the end!”
The ground shook with the force of the explosions that killed the ren’dorei and Stormwind footmen. “Up there!” someone shouted, pointing to a hippogryph up above them. It dropped a third bomb on top of a dwarven steam tank, destroying it. “Is that friendly fire from one of the Teldrassil riders?”
“That’s no night elf…” Marbelma growled. It was that troll that escaped her during the bombing run. The one that killed Cinderwing. Seems like he decided to finish what he started. She looked around, looking for an elevated position - she spotted a wall that was partially collapsed. Perfect!
She ran for the collapsed wall and started hopping up. One wouldn’t think of dwarves as being particularly agile climbers, but one doesn’t survive long in the mountains without being sure-footed. The dwarf hopped, skipped, and jumped her way up the pile of rubble onto the battlements, where a squadron of undead archers were giving the Horde covering fire.
Marbelma swung her hammer in a wide, horizontal arc, blasting a wave of fiery light at the archers, reducing them to ash before they even realized she was there. She stood on top of the bastions and watched the hippogryph. “Come on…come on…” she muttered as she conjured a hammer of light in her hand.
…Now!
She tossed the hammer at the hippogryph.
Jakko’s little bombing campaign was going well enough. He only had two bombs left though, so he had to choose his targets-
CLANG!
A glowing hammer flew out of nowhere and struck Stoneheart right on the head. The unconscious hippogryph began falling like a brick, towards one of the walls that separated the southern courtyard from the rest of the city. The hippogryph landed on the wall with a crash, skidding across the floor until finally slowing to a stop halfway along the wall.
Jakko growled out a few choice curses in goblin. He took he landing hard and nearly everything hurt. He rolled sat up and rolled his shoulders trying to soothe his aching muscles. He checked on his hippogryph. “Stoneheart?” he asked. “You okay?”
He wasn’t okay.
Stoneheart’s beak hung open while his eyes fogged. He checked his neck for a pulse, only to find the neck was broken. The flying hammer didn’t knock him out. It killed him. It killed a noble beast that had been serving him since the Cataclysm.
“Sorry, buddy.” he said as he closed the beast’s eyes.
Piksap. Marbelma heard that word before. The first time she heard this troll said it, she thought it couldn’t possibly be him. But after hearing it again, clearer this time without the din of battle to drown it out, it was unmistakable.
For the first time in years, her blood ran cold.
The troll stood up and looked over his shoulder, staring down the dwarf paladin, who now had her hammer out. “…Okay.” the troll said in decent common In a goblin accent, no less. No doubts now, he was definitely the one. “I get it. I kill your hippogryph, you kill mine. So, we even?”
“Not even close!” Marbelma shouted. “Ten years ago, you ruined my life! And now, as a reward for my faithful service to honor and duty, the Light has blessed me with this - my chance for revenge.”
“…The fuck are you talking about?” the troll asked.
Marbelma forcefully removed her helmet and tossed it aside, staring down the troll with a hate-filled glare.
As soon as the dwarf removed her helmet and revealed her face, his mind suddenly flooded with memories. Memories of a far more evil life.
It was back when he was a rogue, long before he heard Shirvallah’s call. He’d been hired to assassinate a captain of the Ironforge Mountaineers. He infiltrated his cabin in Dun Morogh and killed him. Two more dwarves bore witness though, so Jakko had to kill them too.
…And there was one more dwarf. A girl. Couldn’t have been older than twelve years old. Scared out of her mind, seeing the big scary troll standing over the corpses of her family. Paladin came in out of fucking nowhere, and Jakko bailed. It was one of his messier jobs.
…It was her. That same girl. Ten years older and clad in armor, but there she was.
“Just my luck.” Jakko commented aloud. He pulled down his hood and face mask, figuring that he should return the dwarf’s courtesy and reveal his own face. “I always figured one of my previous mistakes would come back to bite my ass one day. Gotta admit though, this isn’t quite how I pictured it.”
“Funny, because it’s exactly how I pictured it.” the dwarf replied. “You and I, meeting on the field of battle where you and your damned Horde finally meet your end by MY hands…”
“…Have you been practicing that speech in front of a mirror?” Jakko asked as he pulled out his swords.
“I’ve been practicin’ it for ten damn years…” the dwarf snarled before charging.
The Battle For Lordaeron: Part IV - Breakthrough
Cold water splashed across Jakko’s face, bringing him back to consciousness. He gasped and choked, spitting out the water along with some extra bile. “Ah, good - you’re still alive.” said a voice. It was Johriah, the death knight commander.
Jakko looked around and saw that he was back in the palace fountain area. Specifically, under a medical tent, where dozens of other Horde soldiers and champions were lying on stretchers. They were being nursed back to health by druids, shamans, and other healers trying to purge the blight from their bodies.
“Don’t get up - rest while you can.” Johriah said. “The blight will hold back the Alliance for the time being, but - “
Johriah was interrupted as Jakko roared and tried to shoot up. A pair of shamans tried to hold the angry troll down. “You son of a bitch!” Jakko shouted. “You blighted us! You fucking blighted us!”
The commander was silent for a moment, the two healers keeping the druid restrained. Once Jakko gave up trying to rip Johriah’s eyes out, it was only then that the death knight spoke. “The war machine was destroyed and the front line was collapsing. Had we done nothing, the Alliance would’ve broken through and overwhelmed us. So Sylvanas made a decision. Kill one thousand outside these walls to save ten thousand inside - such is the cold math of war.”
He then kneeled before the druid. In the shadow of the helmet, Jakko could see an icy, skull-like visage. “And I’ll have you know that, once the blight was deployed, I immediately ordered my men to put on their masks and head into the cloud to save as many Horde soldiers as they could. By Forsaken hands you were doomed, and yet by Forsaken hands you were also saved.”
Jakko had nothing left for the death knight but a hateful glare. He paused, and his face went from resentful to concerned. Spritzie. “There was a goblin with me. Is she okay?”
“She’s fine. She was one of the first to recover, in fact.” Johriah replied. “She’s on the northern rampart, helping to provide covering fire for those still recovering our wounded. You can meet up with her later. For now, rest. You’ll need it.”
On that note, the commander stood up and walked away. “Need it? What for?” Jakko asked.
“The battle is not over just yet.” Johriah replied without turning around.
A lull in the battle had settled in as both sides retreated to their previous positions to lick their wounds. The Alliance was still pulling out their wounded from the massive cloud of blight in front of the gates, High King Anduin himself leading the efforts. Some of those rescued from the blight would recover. Others wouldn’t.
“Alright.” Rhyliaandra said to the gathered Alliance champions, including Marbelma and Roniaar. They were gathered under a tree, a safe distance away from the blight, all looking at a map of Capital City on the ground. “So the main gate is officially off the table. The blight alone would kill us before we even reach the gate, never mind the mindless skeletons that lurk within that deadly cloud.”
“So now what?” asked a void elf shadow priest.
The vindicator sighed. “Hard to say. The High King is still focused on saving as many from the blight as he can. I don’t know what the plan is beyond that.”
“Is there any way to remove the blight?” asked a lightforged paladin.
Rhyliaandra shook her head. “Not quickly. There are ways to purge it, but there’s so much of it out there, it would take days. Weeks even. And time we spend clearing the blight is time for the Horde to fortify the city. No doubt they’re doing exactly that, even as we speak.”
“There’s gotta be a way around it.” Marbelma said as she eyeballed the map. She pointed to the mountains east of the city. “What about the sewer entrance?”
“Collapsed.” Rhyliaandra said. “We could excavate, but again, it would take far too long. Between that and the blight, I simply don’t see an easy way into the city.”
“Er, Rhyliaandra?”
“Well, we’ve gotta think of somethin’! We’ve come too far to turn back now!”
“Rhyli? Marbles?”
“We just need to have faith that the High King has a plan.”
“Who? Ye mean the blondie still strugglin’ to keep his big boy pants on? We’re supposed to believe THAT GUY has a plan?”
“Ladies!”
“What?!” Marbelma and Rhyliaandra snapped at Roniaar.
“Is that a floating galleon over there?” Roniaar asked as he pointed to the flying ship in question.
Jakko was trying to rest when he heard a commotion up on the battlements. Curious, he stood up, feeling better enough to stand on his own two feet again. Still a bit queasy, though. He morphed into a bat and quickly flew up onto the rampart overlooking the battlefield. He morphed back into troll form and saw Spritzie, staring at something on the horizon. “Yo Spritz. What’s with all the hubbub?”
Spritzie pointed north. “That.” The druid followed her finger.
“…You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” Jakko said, likely saying aloud what every Horde soldier was thinking.
It was a great, floating galleon. And standing at the bow was the Daughter of the Sea herself: Jaina Proudmoore.
Several other Horde champions climbed up to the battlements to see what the commotion was about, and sure enough, they too were gobsmacked by what they saw, as panic began to spread among the ranks.
“It’s Proudmoore! She’s back!”
“Impossible! I heard she died when the Burning Legion invaded!”
“How is she making that ship float?”
“WE’RE BONED, MAN! Game over! Game over! Widespread, unregulated butt-humping is the law of the jungle!”
”Calm down, you spastic ooze monkeys!” Spritzie shouted down the other champions. She then climbed up on top of the parapet. “Look - I don’t give a shit if they got Anduin Lothar’s GHOST on that boat!” she shouted to the other Horde champions. “There’s still about a thousand acres worth of blight between us and them. As long as that blight’s still around, they can’t even TOUCH US!”
In the distance, Jakko could barely make out Jaina make a few hand gestures. The assembled Horde on the battlements then noticed a giant, glowing, blue-white rune appear on the Alliance’s side of the blight cloud. The rune then sent out a huge wave of blue energy that seemed to blow away all the blight. When the energy passed, the battlefield was covered in ice and frost. The rune had been a frost nova spell, except it had been far bigger than any mage could conjure.
Then again, Jaina wasn’t any mage.
“…Okay, now you can panic.” Spritzie conceded.
“RAMPANT UNREGULATED BUTT-RUMPING!”
As the Alliance army charged across the ice fields with renewed confidence, the ship turned its starboard side to Lordaeron’s walls. Cannons appeared out of literally nowhere and began pelting the city’s walls with arcane cannonballs. It didn’t take long for the barrage to punch a hole big enough for the Alliance to pour into.
That’s when they all heard the war horn. With the Alliance pouring into the western half of the city, the Horde was now on the move. Pouring out of the palace gardens, through the eastern half, and into the southern courtyard where it will make its stand.
“Right! You all remember the plan!” Spritzie shouted. “First rally point! Southern courtyard! Move it!” The Horde champions followed their de facto commander’s orders as they quickly descended the ladders back down to ground level and double-timed it to the rally point.
“Damn Spritz.” Jakko said. “Since when did you learn to take charge like that?”
Spritzie glared at Jakko. “Since the Alliance killed my babies…” she darkly said as she descended down a latter herself.
The Alliance army wasted no time making a beeline for the hole that Jaina just punched. As the archmage teleported down from her magical ship to reunite with the High King, the army cheered for her.
“FOR THE ALLIANCE!”
“REMEMBER THERAMORE!”
“REMEMBER VARIAN!”
“PLEASE SIGN MY SPELLBOOK!”
After their brief reunion, the High King, archmage, and King of Gildneas split the Alliance forces in two - a forward force and a second force to guard the rear - believing it would be too risky for the entire army to funnel through the hole all at once.
And lucky Marbles, her group was among those chosen to be the first ones in.
“Alright, everyone!” Rhyliaandra barked. “We’ll be charging through a choke point, so don’t be surprised if we get ambushed! Stay alert, eyes open!”
Once the order was given, the first force charged into the breach. Now that the Alliance was inside the walls of Lordaeron, they could all but taste victory on their lips.
The Battle For Lordaeron: Part III - Fortified Line
Jakko and Spritzie flew back towards the Undercity, along with most of the other bombing run volunteers, as most of their payloads had been dropped. And not a moment too soon - the Alliance army had begun to march towards the gates of Lordaeron. The bombing run must’ve spooked them enough into finally making their move - they still had five siege towers left, and they had to use them while they could.
The army was even bigger than Jakko feared - it was like an ocean of blue, gold, and steel. “…Fuck it.” he muttered as he started priming one of his bombs. Flying right over the army, he wasn’t going to get a better chance to single-handedly take out a bunch of Alliance troops than this. He dropped a bomb and watched it go…
Only to watch as a golden, flaming hammer flies out of the nowhere and hit it, making it detonate in mid-air, sending Stoneheart into a panic. “What the fuck?!”
The Alliance troops cheered for the dwarf paladin who just saved them with a skillful toss of a judgement hammer. Marbelma beamed, all too eager to soak in the glory and adulation.
“Alright, no time for three cheers!” Rhyliaandra shouted. “Onward! To the gates!”
No sooner did the words leave the vindicator’s lips did the gates to the Undercity suddenly open…
And a mass of Horde soldiers came charging out.
“This is it!” Rhyliaandra shouted as she raised her hammer to the sky. “FOR THE ALLIANCE!”
And with that, the Alliance soldiers charged into the battle to meet their counterparts.
As the Horde swarmed out of Lordaeron to meet the Alliance, Spritzie ordered her wolfhawk, Angel to swoop down into the teaming battle. She could dimly hear Jakko shouting after her, but by this point, she couldn’t give less of a shit of what he thought.
They killed Spritzie Jr. She couldn’t let her baby’s death be in vain.
She hopped off the wolfhawk and landed on a hill. She immediately took aim with her shotgun and fired, blasting some worgen’s head off. She gave a whistle, hoping some of her beasts would hear…
The earth began to quake, and a large jormungar erupted from the ground, wrapping itself around a human and devouring it. A basilisk climbed out of the hole as well and petrified a dwarf with its gaze. Spritzie grinned - Verde and Crystal had heard her! The three of them held the small hill, Spritzie firing bullets, Verde spitting acid and Crystal shooting paralyzing looks at the Alliance as they came.
Once Stoneheart landed on the battlements, Jakko dismounted and morphed into a tiger, leaping into the fray. He clawed out the throats of many Alliance, slashing their tendons and staining his paws and maw with their blood. He roared in fury, the sound echoing for miles, lost in the din of battle.
But one noise soon drowned out the rest. The noise of approaching machinery.
That’s when Jakko spotted the Azerite War Machine rumble through the gate, firing white-hot fireballs into the mass of the Alliance. The machine’s arrival was met with thunderous cheers from the Horde as the Alliance was pushed back.
“Holy shit, we could actually win this.” Jakko muttered in awe. That massive hunk of junk wasn’t much to look at back in the courtyard, but it just goes to show that a good weapon doesn’t need to be pretty. It just needs to get the job done.
Jakko leapt back into the fray, suddenly a little bit more confidant about the Horde’s odds.
“This is bad…” Rhyliaandra growled as she watched the giant war machine tear the Alliance army apart. “That thing is decimating our forces. It could break our siege right here and now if we don’t stop it!”
“It’s worse than you think.” Roniaar said as he marched up to his sister’s side. “That thing is being powered by azerite.”
“Azerite? You’re certain?” Rhyliaandra asked.
“I’ve been in Silithus, helping to mend the wound.” Roniaar explained. “By now, I’d know the raw power of azerite anywhere.”
“We need to destroy it. Now.” Rhyliaandra ordered. “Everyone! Attack the machine! Chaaaarge!”
A good chunk of Alliance charged towards the war machine, firing fireballs and arrows at it while melee combatants just hopped on and started smashing it. These included Marbelma and Roniaar, who beat away at the heavy plate with hammer and twin axes respectively.
“Oh no you don’t!” Spritzie shouted as she whistled to her two pets and pointed to the war machine. “Get them off of it!” she shouted. Crystal galloped on all sixes, barreling in the Alliance forces while Verde burrowed underground, preferring a subterranean attack. They weren’t alone - dozens of Horde soldiers clashed with the Alliance, seeking to protect the machine that would be key to their victory.
Jakko was among them, getting into a catfight with another druid in their cat form. Were they night elf or worgen? He couldn’t tell in the heat of battle, and it ultimately didn’t matter as his fangs sank into their neck vertebrae.
Suddenly, a draenei on top of the machine conjured lightning in his hands and shooting it out at Crystal, electrocuting the animal. “Crystal!” Spritzie shrieked as she took a shot at the draenei.
“Woah!” Roniaar yiped as he ducked, a stray bullet nearly taking his head off. “In retrospect, I really should’ve brought a helmet.” he muttered to himself as he leapt off the war machine and ran over to the basilisk. The bloodthirsty beast was still convulsing from the shaman’s lightning as he took out his axes and sank them into the animals face.
No sooner did he do that, however, did an underground threat emerge - a massive jormungar erupted beneath him and wrap tightly around the draenei. The creature hissed and drooled.
Roniaar said a few shamanistic words and, suddenly a bolt of lightning came from the sky, striking the worm, electrocuting it to death. Roniaar was spared however - thanks to his favor with the elements, the lightning did not kill him, but instead made him stronger.
“NOOOO!” Spritzie shrieked as she watched the draenei murder two more of her pets. Crystal! Verde! They were both rescues from Highmountain - abused by their drogbar masters before Spritzie freed them. With a howl of rage, she charged from the hill and fired three shots at the draenei.
Roniaar suddenly felt a stinging in his shoulder. He checked and saw blue blood leaking from it. That probably wasn’t good. He saw its source approaching him - a goblin with a shotgun screaming bloody murder as she charged towards him. As she got close, Roniaar took a deep breath and blew.
One of the blessings granted by the Wind Lord? Very powerful lungs. He blew hard enough to blow the little goblin away with hurricane-strength winds. He then conjured some water to patch himself up.
He looked around - this wasn’t good. The Horde was ferocious in their defense of their war machine. If the Alliance couldn’t destroy it, and soon, they would surely lose this battle.
“FOR THE ALLIANCE!”
A golden light suddenly erupted from the Alliance’s side of the battlefield, bright enough to blind most of the Horde. It was then that a man in lion-like armor charged into the fray, along with a few elite guards. The man was the source of light himself, as well as the source of the rallying cry.
Suddenly, Roniaar’s wounds didn’t sting so much. He checked and saw that the bleeding had stopped completely. He instantly realized why - the area was suddenly bathed in the Holy Light, restoring health and vigor to the Alliance’s war-weary troops. He realized who the armored man was.
“The High King…” Roniaar muttered.
“Ah, shit.” Jakko muttered as he watched High King Anduin himself, glowing like a freaking night light, climb on top of the war machine and swing his sword at it. Even worse - he was actually doing damage, along with the rest of the Alliance whose wounds were healed. Now it was the Horde who was being pushed back as the Alliance swarmed over the war machine like ants over a cockroach.
Most of the Horde was pulling back, but some stubbornly refused to cede any ground. One of them was Spritzie, who was standing in the open, firing into the Alliance, tears staining her face. Jakko had to get her out of there before a stray arrow caught her.
He sprinted over, dimly hearing the sound of the war machine falling apart and the Alliance cheering as he tackled Spritzie to the ground before a warmage’s arcane bolt hit her. “Get off of me!” Spritzie shrieked.
“We need to get outta here!” Jakko shouted as he got off.
“No! They killed Crystal and Verde! They need to pay!” Spritzie said as she stood up and took aim again.
Jakko snarled as he pinned the shotgun to the ground with a giant paw. “Spritzie! We need to get back inside the city before-“
And that’s when a giant green cloud erupted not ten feet away from them. Dozens of Alliance choking and gasping as they suddenly lay on the ground dying. “Oh no…” Jakko said as he looked up.
The Forsaken had begun launching the blight.
The battlefield was quickly becoming covered in thick green smoke as the blight covered the battlefield. Alliance and Horde alike were caught in the blight, coughing and choking and vomiting as they desperately tried to find their way out of the fog of death.
Jakko instantly felt sick to his stomach. He couldn’t hold his tiger form anymore and shifted back to troll form, ripping off his mask and hood and vomiting on the ground. Spritzie was coughing, sounding like she was about to hack up her own lungs. The druid was suddenly thankful that he had a light breakfast that morning as he dry-heaved, his stomach trying to get rid of contents that weren’t there. So he struggled through it, grabbed Spritzie and tried to head back to the Undercity.
They didn’t get far. The blight was already in his system. Jakko collapsed onto the ground, his sister dying beside him.
Welp. Guess this is it. Jakko was honestly a little disappointed. He’d lived through so much. The Cataclysm, the Darkspear Rebellion, even the Burning Legion. And THIS is how he dies. As just another schmuck caught up in the same old bullshit between Alliance and Horde.
One of the last things he saw before everything went dark was a couple of Forsaken wearing gas masks approaching them, and dragging them off somewhere.
Another blessing that came from the Wind Lord was that, if you were ever surrounded by a deadly gas, it was fairly easy to just blow it all out of your way. Once the blight started hitting the Alliance, Roniaar wasted no time. Though he couldn’t blow it all away - the deadly gas extended for miles across the battlefield - he was able to “part” the gas, creating a narrow path for Alliance soldiers to safely evacuate through.
Most weren’t so fortunate though. Hundreds of Alliance were still caught in the Blight, either dead or dying. Hundreds of Horde as well. Just like the Wrathgate. The shaman knew that Sylvanas was ruthless, but to blight her own troops?
To make matters worse, Sylvanas then began to raise the skeletons of her fallen soldiers. The bony warriors nipped at the Alliance’s heels as they retreated, cutting down those in the blight who aren’t already dead. He also spied some of the skeletons carrying still-living Horde troops out of the blight, saving them. So Sylvanas wasn’t that ruthless, but he knew that such rescues weren’t out of compassion. The Banshee Queen would have uses for minions that were still alive.
Kaldorei archers and dwarven riflemen covered the Alliance’s withdrawal, cutting down the skeletal soldiers as they approached and saving as many of their own as they could. With the front gate now heavily blighted, the Alliance would need to find another way into the Undercity.