#sorrowsdead

[distoredscars]

Why don’t you sleep with me at night anymore? Why don’t you ever call me anymore?

[distoredscars]

𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝

𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮

𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞

𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭

𝐏𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝

𝐈 𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐬, 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐬

𝐈 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐧𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐈 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡

𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

𝐍𝐨 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬

𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐦𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥

[distoredscars]

I could never tell you this

Sometimes my days feel unbearable and slow, when I’m depressed and have my darkest of thoughts and my loneliness is closing in on me my days are so slow and today feels like forever and I could stare at the walls forever and still feel the aching pain in my heart, it never leaves and I go about my day just feeling it, at this point I can’t even ignore it but just go threw the nausea, headaches and tiredness. It’s only a couple hours into my days and I feel so weak and sleepy. But I can’t sleep and that’s the hardest part. I’ll just think and think, sometimes it’s good thoughts and other times there scary but I don’t stop thinking, I keep thinking about them till I’m on the verge of tears and then I sleep. Keeping myself busy isn’t enough anymore, I’m ruined and that’s all I can feel going threw every part of my body. But that’s not even the worst part for me. My anxiety and paranoia feel like the walls that I’m staring at our closing in and I can’t breathe, just feeling that I’m being watched, the feeling of never being good enough. I feel like I’m being eaten alive and all I can do is watch. I’m so tired of just watching, I’m tired of being alone, of being quiet of the pain I feel.

[distoredscars]

Energy

Turn me into poison energy,

Strip away the fears in me,

Don’t let me slip away from reality,

Let the leaves fall on me,

Our love is for eternity.

[distoredscars]

Everyday gets harder for me. I ask myself if I should just end it, that question keeps ringing threw my head everyday.