the ninth doctor always goes crazy to me because he wasn't an ambivalent god. he was the benevolent, scarred, and cynical god who cared because he couldn't not. when no one else did. because if he didn't do something, no one else would. he was the one with the power, the responsibility, and it hurt him constantly. every life he watched burn out was a tragedy -- a loss. he kissed a servant girl on the head who no one would remember. he closed the eyes of a dead man. he mourned a pig the military shot. he cared them all, no matter how insignifigant and fleeting their lives could have seemed to his. he was a little mean and a little rude and a lot angry (at everyone at everything) but he also had so much joy. he loved knowing he'd lose. and when he regenerated, he simply looked to rose with that big grin on his face and told her she was fantastic -- and so was he.
