@drownblessed:
“ yeah– every morning? ” or, on a rare, sleepy occasion, in the afternoon. “ but that’s not what you mean, is it… ? like when you ‘wake up’ and realize Jerry was the bad guy all along? ” he leans forward, studying Inwoo curiously. he seems… different, today. normally, Tida hopes all his friends are feeling hunky dory and happy all the time, but considering Inwoo’s past, he is, strangely enough, kind of hoping to catch a glimpse of guilt. remorse. regret. something like that, because it would mean he’s improving. . .
He stared at Tida, tilting his head: he’d looked exhausted from being constantly sleep deprived, more self-inflicted than anything, and at the comparison that was entirely out of his element, he took a drink of his dark coffee without answering instead (he didn’t know who Jerry was to comment on what Tida was trying to angle at). “No. When you wake up, when you expect not to wake up, ever,” he replied quietly, voice hoarse and haunted, “Waking up mentally when your body doesn’t respond to you...is a terrifying feeling.” There was little remorse or guilt about matters, more a sense of helplessness that was rare from someone who carried himself with so much confidence and self-assuredness. He shook his head, returning to his coffee- the sixth cup he’d had that day, and more to come in a bid to refuse sleep entirely.