Jul 6, 2020
i’m very like “my sexuality? i don’t know her” + i never discuss it but my mum always uses gender neutral language when she talks about my potential future in terms of relationships/marriage/having children + i’m very 🥰🥰🥰 about it
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i’m very like “my sexuality? i don’t know her” + i never discuss it but my mum always uses gender neutral language when she talks about my potential future in terms of relationships/marriage/having children + i’m very 🥰🥰🥰 about it
Hi! I'm a 15 yr old girl, but I identify closer to the non binary part of the spectrum. I'm trying to find ways to feel a little more comfortable with how I am, and I'm considering trying binding. Doing have any suggestions for a) good binders to start with and b) a good way to try to talk to my parents about it? My parents are super liberal and understanding I just don't know how to bring it up. Thanks!
Hi there anon! Well, I would start with sports bras first and foremost. I know they aren’t binders and they can cause some dysphoria problems, but I’ve personally found that they’re a really good way to introduce your body into wearing something tighter around your chest area. Going right into binding is kind of a rough ride, and you need to start by adjusting a little bit at a time. For binders themselves though, I would probably recommend GC2B binders or @shapeshiftersinc for something a little more customized for your body type. The thing is, trying binding out can be costly, so that’s another reason I suggest trying sports bras first. They can run at lower prices, and often you can get a pretty flat chest with them depending on your chest size. [If you’re larger, you might have to spend the money on a binder to get a flatter feel, sorry :( ]
Talking to the parents… well, that’s a bit more complicated. I can’t really give you a set of sure-fire rules because I don’t know the entirety of your situation, and there isn’t really one set way in talking about this with anyone. Everyone has a different experience. Personally, I was weirdly afraid to talk about it with my mother, regardless of how open-minded and liberal she was. I don’t even know why I was scared, it just built up into something huge in my head, and by the time I talked about it with her, I had to do it over facebook chat while I was sitting in a different room. XD
It’s funny now, because it was fine and she was fine and things worked out well. But, in the end, sometimes you need some buffers to talk it out. I’ve suggested this a few times before, and i’ve heard back that it’s helped a few people so, here we go:
1: Remember that even if you’re feeling confused or want to change your gender identity in the future, your gender is still and always will be valid. Everyone gets confused or has worries, or needs a change. It’s okay if you’re not sure, and your friends and family need to respect and understand that too.
2: Buffers. They do help, and they can come in many forms. Mine was the chat, typing it all out and starting the conversation through facebook before moving to a face-to-face conversation about it. It really helped me fight the weird fears I had. Other ways to buffer the situation is to have someone who knows with you when you talk to them about it. A sister, a friend, heck, even a pet can help. Someone to be your backup and support.
3: Give yourself reminders. Remind yourself that you’re loved, and that parents are supposed to love you for you. Gender should not come between you in anyway. [I say ‘should’, but again, not all situations are alike.]
I really hope that all goes well for you in the future, and that you are able to speak to your parents about it with little to no trouble. I also hope that you BIND CAREFULLY! Please don’t double-up on binders and sports bras, it can be dangerous. And when you’re first starting out, take it a little bit at a time. Wear the binder for 5-10 minutes at a time, then take it off and breathe. Good luck!
okay i get what lewis is trying to say and if i were him i would be proud of me too but his little manifesto sounds like a copypasta
ugh, ive been in a slump and tumblr isnt helping at all so i think im going to log off for awhile and find something else to do. ill have my queue running so it wont be all that noticeable, ill probably be back very soon