Loyal to Loki (Soulmate!Loki)
Original Work: Loyalty (This series is a spin off of Loyalty.)
Pairing: Loki x Female Reader, Soulmates (of sorts)
Word Count: 4.4k
Warnings: Character death, pretty graphic descriptions
Summary: (Y/n). Whoever she was, she had enchanted him. In countless lifetimes, she had bewitched him. Her very name brought a room full of Lokis to heel. Loki had no idea why, but he wanted to find out.
Notes: This fic is a spinoff of the Loyalty series, as a thank you to the fans who got that series to 5k+ notes. You are all angels. I recommend reading Loyalty first. You don't have to, but it also will have easter eggs for that so I strongly recommend it.
“I killed Thor.”
The words had been echoing in Loki’s head for the last several hours as he thought through all the times he had made up plans to ruin his brother. Loki had made plans to sabotage Thor, humiliate him, disgrace him, banish him, injure him. He had run away, thrown lavish parties, caused chaos, anything he could think of to steal some modicum of attention away from the golden son. Any attention was good attention when you lived in the shadow of a god king.
There were years, decades, centuries even, in which he had hated his brother to his core. He had gone lifetimes without uttering a word to Thor. He had used projections of Thor as sparring partners just for the amusement of sliding his dagger into the man’s heart after particularly cruel rejections.
Yet not once, in all his millennia, had the thought of murder even crossed his mind. Because even though Loki was the lesser son, lesser prince, compared to Thor. Unworthy of love or admiration or respect compared to Thor. Even though he was rebuked for every mild prank while Thor bullied him without consequence. Even after they fought on opposite sides… Even after he found out his true parentage… Thor was the closest thing Loki had to family.
Loki had so many question, about the mock candy cane throne and the TVA and the monster at their doorstep and Sylvie. But he asked the most pressing question that came to mind, “What could drive a Loki to do such a thing? To kill a Thor?”
Boastful Loki snorted. “What couldn’t?”
Old Loki, walking past the other, put a hand on Boastful Loki’s shoulder, “We all have our stories.” He looked up at Kid Loki sitting on his makeshift throne, “Now that we are safe, perhaps it’s time we share.”
Kid Loki looked disinclined to do so, but he waved a hand and a pale green mist began to slowly fill the room. “What else? Her.”
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“Loki, don’t listen to them.” Kid Loki’s lip was quivering as he tried to stem the rivers of tears tracking down his cheeks. “They don’t know what they’re talking about.”
“They do though,” Kid Loki spat, “They’re generals and warriors and kings.”
Loki found himself standing in a memory. The other versions of himself were scattered around as well, pulled into Kid Loki’s spell by proximity. None of the others seemed surprised or startled. This was an experience they had lived before, a memory Kid Loki had shared before.
Loki took in the scene. They were less than a year before Kid Loki’s nexus event. There were subtle changes in him which the superior eyes of an Asgardian could pick up on, but it was clear very little time would pass before it happened.
Loki knew this place well. It was a balcony near the servants’ quarters at the back of palace. He had frequented this place from the time he was a child.
Though it was gold plated and ostentatious like the rest of the palace, this balcony was infrequently used by anyone. It was in an undesirable location near the servants quarters with an equally undesirable view. It faced away from the Bifrost, overlooking the few factories and workshops in the city and a distant rocky bit of shoreline touching the sea. Why it was even here, who would even want to build a balcony with an unwelcoming view in such a poorly placed location, was part of the appeal for Loki. The existence of this balcony only made sense as a place to escape the prying eyes of one’s king.
Kid Loki and his companion did not avail themselves of the opulent set of chairs in the center of the balcony. They sat right on the railing. His feet dangled over the edge and kicked at the air, but the girl with him sat cross-legged facing him. Even as he looked out at the skyline of Asgard, she watched him with a burning expression.
“The greatest military minds of Asgard, and they thought me a weak fool and a woman.”
“There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a woman,” she said indignantly, and Loki, the kid and the man, chuckled to himself. It was the sort of distinction Sif would have made, and not an unwarranted one. “And besides, they’re generals and warriors and kings and absolute idiots too.”
“Shush,” Kid Loki whipped his head around to face her with a horrified expression. “You can’t say things like that! Not about them. They will have your head.”
“So what if they do!” She snapped, “You’re the God of Lies, Loki; tell me I’m lying.”
The girl was young, about Kid Loki’s age. She looked nothing like the highborn women of Asgard Loki had grown up around, and if he had to guess he would say her family were merchant folk. Loki would not have spoken so freely to a servant, but no highborn woman would have come to court so plainly dressed. The plainness of her attire took nothing from her beauty, though. She was a very pretty girl. Coupled with her wit, he could see why Kid Loki would care for her.
Kid Loki searched her eyes as his brow furrowed. “You’re… you’re not lying, but that only means you believe it.”
The girl’s expression immediately lightened to a smile, and her hand came up to touch his cheek, “It means I believe in you.”
As he listened, Loki realized he knew what day this was. An uprising on Nidavellir had led his father to convene a war council, and he and Thor had been allowed to sit in. All of the top generals, the best warriors in the kingdom had been there, even the former King of Vanaheim. They had been instructed to sit quietly in the corner and listen. One day, it would be their turn to run these meetings, but for now they were there to learn.
Only Thor hadn’t listened. In the middle of Tyr’s impassioned plea for more troops, Thor had leapt up to stand on his chair and declared that he would be happy to join Tyr on the front lines. The men, Odin included, had chuckled. Tyr had amused the young prince and waved him forward, “And what would you have us do, my prince?” Tyr asked.
Thor went on to give a long winded, poorly thought out, battle strategy which had no hope of doing anything to the dwarven forces. The generals had listened patiently and praised his warrior’s spirit, nonetheless. Before Tyr turned to Loki, “And what of you, my prince?”
Loki had stood quietly and walked to the map around which his father’s men were gathered. He pointed to a fort near the frontlines which he knew was functioning as a command post for the men. “I would station mages on this rooftop. You have archers flanking the battlegrounds to thin out the dwarves, but mages have a longer range than your arrows and could safely fire from here without being anticipated or seen.”
The room of generals had stared blankly back at him as Loki looked around the room for anyone to give him any word of encouragement the way they had Thor. None ever came. Instead, Odin had cleared his throat. “Magic is a woman’s art, not a weapon.” And that was the end of that.
Thor had smirked down at Loki as they returned to their seats. “That is why I will be king one day, brother.”
Afterwards, Loki had run here, to this balcony. It appeared Kid Loki had done the same. Only he hadn’t been alone.
Kid Loki shrugged off her touch as a blush colored his cheeks. His hand between them reached out and grabbed hers as it fell from his face, holding her tightly in his grasp. “You are truly the best friend I could ever ask for.”
The girl’s bright smile seemed to dim slightly at the word friend.
Loki’s eyes flashed over to the present Kid Loki, but he was too intently watching the scene play out. He caught Old Loki’s eye instead. Loki raised an eyebrow and inclined his head to the girl. Old Loki understood the unspoken question and nodded.
This girl, whoever she was, loved him, or at least she loved this version of him.
“Loki I have been meaning to…”
“Brother!” The girl was interrupted by Thor’s booming voice echoing down the hall. “Brother!”
Kid Loki lurched back off the railing, pulling the girl with him. “Wait here.” Kid Loki let go of her hand. “I’ll come back for you.” And he ran out into the hall.
The girl watched him run off with a heavy, sad sigh.
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“She was my best friend,” Kid Loki sighed as the memory faded away. “I wanted her to be so much more, but in my timeline she was a servant girl. If I had ever dared to entertain the thought of her where father could find out, he would have…” His voice cracked as it trailed off.
Loki did not need him to fill in the gaps. Loki had never loved, never felt or cared for a woman while his father lived, but he knew exactly what Odin would have done if he had ever introduced the king to a servant girl.
Kid Loki thickly swallowed around a lump in his throat and continued his tale. “The day after she comforted me on the balcony, I vowed at the roots of Yggdrasil to never marry, to never have anyone if I could not have her. I swore that, when Thor was named heir, I would leave the palace to rule some distant keep or other and take her and her family with me. No matter where we went we could never marry, but I was convinced that if we went far enough away from court Odin would not follow. As long as we did not marry, he would think it was some harmless affair and leave us be. She and her family would never have to work again. We could be friends and companions till Ragnarok came for us both.”
“And… And if what I could give her was not enough, then I would find a man worthy of her, one who could make her happy, and I would protect their love and happiness with everything in me until my dying breath. That was my vow…”
A darkness washed over Kid Loki like a wave as some unspoken thought hung in the air. A darkness even Loki himself had never known. It rose up suddenly, from deep within the young god, and the magic that seeped uncontrollably into the air around him was not Loki’s usual pale green. It was as dark as a forest at night.
“But Thor heard my vow.”
Old Loki lifted a hand, but the mist of Kid Loki’s powers rushed out before anyone could stop it and Loki found himself another memory.
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The sky was jet black, save the occasional crack of lightning. The storm was a torrential downpour like Loki had never seen. Even the hurricane which wiped out Roxxcart paled in comparison to the buckets of water he felt crashing over him. He could see no further than his hand held out an arm’s length in front of him, and he could not see or hear the other Lokis around him though he could sense their presence.
This memory was much more vivid than the last. It sent a chill down Loki’s spine as he hadn’t experienced before. Even falling from the Bifrost had not felt like this.
Directly in front of Loki, lying at his feet, was a body and a face that would haunt his dreams for the rest of eternity.
Her body was facing away, but her neck was twisted at an unnatural angle so that she stared straight up at him.
No one had closed her eyes. The life was long gone from her. Her cheeks had drained of their flush, and her limbs had frozen stiff. But there was something in those eyes. Loki had shut the eyes of tens of thousands of souls, most of which he had taken himself. But hers felt different.
Unseeing, they stared directly into his as if begging him for help, begging him for a life that he would have gladly given if only so he didn’t have to see those eyes like that. The water pouring down around them made it look as though she was still crying.
This was not one of his memory, and yet in witnessing those eyes, he felt as if it had become one.
A green glow washed over him, one of the Loki’s illuminating the scene, not of the girl’s body, but of what was happening beyond.
He stared at the body, now thrown into shadow by the spell, for several long moments before he looked away.
Kid Loki, magic as dark as the night around him, was squaring off against Thor. His back was to the group and the body, and even as Thor tried to circle, Kid Loki continued squaring up to him.
“I will end you for this.” Kid Loki’s voice echoed in Loki’s ears. The spell enhanced the sound, but the surety in his voice was all his own.
“A servant!” Thor bellowed, throwing his arms wide in exasperation, “You made a vow to Yggdrasil for a servant! She…”
Kid Loki’s arm shot out, and the magic rushed over Thor’s face, stealing the words from his mouth. “You will die slowly, painfully.” Kid Loki promised. His voice cut deep and showed his age in a way his face never could. The thousand years he had walked the realms culminated in a promise of death and destruction. “If she were here, she would not want you to suffer, but it’s just me.”
Thor tried to speak again, but his voice was gone. Ribbons of dark magic were wrapping around his arms and legs, holding his limbs taut no matter how hard he fought the bindings.
A smoke-like mist billowed out of Kid Loki’s sleeves with a force that pushed him several feet into the air. “Look on me now, Thor, and know that your death is at your brother’s hands. And know that he relished it.”
The smoke solidified into the shape of a spike, and as Kid Loki raised it into the air, the memory faded away.
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Loki felt as if his consciousness slammed back into his body in the bunker, “What was that?” He didn’t mean for the question to come out as a shout, but it certainly had.
“My nexus event.” The dark green magic was slowly receding from the room as Kid Loki’s tone returned to one of conversation. “I told you. I killed Thor.”
“As he deserved,” Boastful Loki raised his hand, toasting a nonexistent glass to the youngest of them.
Kid Loki nodded to Boastful Loki in acknowledgment.
Old Loki hunched over, elbows on his knees, as he looked across at Loki, “If you cared for your Thor, then just be glad he did not show you the rest.”
Boastful Loki snorted derisively, “You’re hardly one to judge us for causing death and destruction.”
“No,” Old Loki nodded solemnly, “I’m not.”
Boastful Loki turned halfway in his chair to face Loki. “Her death was my nexus event too.”
He raised his hand and a tinge of green colored his finger tips before shooting out like darts towards the other three men in the room.
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“Father, please let me try.” Boastful Loki was on his knees before Odin’s throne, his hands clasped as if he was praying like a common Midgardian.
Loki did not beg. He wagered that his counterparts did not either. This was a vulnerability he did not think any version of himself was capable of, let alone capable of sharing with others.
“No, my son. She is bound for Hel or Valhalla now. That is for the Fates to decide.” Odin waved a hand over Loki. “You will live a long life my son. You will find another to bear you sons and daughters, another to grow old and rule beside.”
“I do not want to rule if it is not with her.” Boastful Loki spat. “She is my love, my life.”
“You feel that now, but this too will pass.”
A glimmer of rage colored Boastful Loki’s face as he turned his eyes from Odin. Without another word, he pushed to his feet and stormed from the throne room.
The Lokis watching the memory were dragged along behind him through the palace as he moved.
Boastful Loki came to a stop two corridors off the throne room and pulled out a small mirror from his pocket. He drew in a deep breath and blew out the mist of a spell across the glass. The mirror’s surface shimmered for a moment, before it solidified into an image.
Loki leaned forward as Boastful Loki stared longingly into it.
It was the same girl, or woman now. Loki was sure of it.
She was tossing and turning restlessly in a plush royal bed. The covers were thrown off the end in a futile attempt to cool down. Her skin was flushed and drenched in so much sweat it pooled on the sheets beneath her. Her hair knotted in a mess on the pillow beneath her as servants tried futilely to get her to hold still long enough to pat her down with sponges.
And she was older. A grown woman now, closer to Boastful Loki’s age than Kid Loki’s.
But even through her sickness and the years that had passed, there was no mistaking the little girl who sat on the railing comforting Kid Loki.
Boastful Loki whispered to himself, “Do not fear, my love. I will find a way. There must be a way.”
As he turned to leave, Boastful Loki did not look up from the mirror to realize someone else was moving up the hall. Neither occupant paying attention, the two men ran into each other.
“Oh, my apologies, My Prince,” Baldur bowed his head slightly. “I was just on my way to meet with your father.”
“Yes, yes,” Boastful Loki waved him off, making to step past Baldur before he froze.
Loki could see, from this angle, the rapid changes to Boastful Loki’s expression. The emotions that rapidly flashed across his features before finally settling. He had a plan.
“Baldur,” Boastful Loki turned back to the warrior who had moved around him, “Is it true you are invulnerable to all harm?”
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“I had everything. I was the crown prince. I was the best warrior. I had magic, not that I ever needed to use it. I had her...” Boastful Loki’s magic dissipated into the air as he fluttered his fingers away.
“She was on the frontlines of the War for the Tenth Realm when she was infected by a disease. It came from beyond the Nine Realms. Something even the greatest healers in Asgard had never seen nor heard of before. They tried everything they could to heal her, to ease her suffering, but nothing worked. Her screams echoed through the palace for weeks until her body was finally too weak to utter noise...”
Boastful Loki sighed heavily; he looked far less boastful now. He looked defeated, visibly deflated. “I asked Odin to let me use an infinity stone to cure her, to bring her back. He refused me. Then I ran into Baldur, and I thought... if I could just steal his gift, give it to her… Then the TVA arrived.”
Loki paused for a moment to consider his wording, “That was the same woman, was it not?”
There was a moment of deafening silence in answer to his question before everyone exploded.
“WHAT!” Kid Loki’s sword magicked back into his head, and Boastful Loki shot to his feet so quickly that the chair he’d been occupying tipped over with a crash.
Loki braced himself.
“Wait.” Old Loki commanded, slowly raising a hand to his counterparts, telling them to hold off. The other two seethed, but he watched Loki with a far more curious expression. “You don’t know?”
“Know her? No, should I? We are from different timelines.”
“Every timeline with a Loki has a (Y/n),” Kid Loki sneered. The hand carrying his sword was twitching.
“I know no (Y/n).”
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Loki did not see the magic that triggered this memory coming. It washed over him without warning, with an almost comforting embrace. He was not merely a bystander in this one. He was Loki; he was living the memory. Loki did not know how to do this kind of projection magic, nor did he think Kid Loki or Boastful Loki could either. This was Old Loki’s doing. This was Old Loki’s memory, and Loki was living it.
He was standing bedecked in full ceremonial armor on the dais of Asgard’s throne room. Citizens of Asgard, who had filled the room to the brim, were slowly filing out the grand doors at the other side. Whatever ceremony they had gathered for had just ended.
Across from Loki, Thor remained vigil at the left hand of their father’s throne. Its occupant was gone. Odin had disappeared to handle some matter or other, but Loki and Thor were expected to stay, on principle. Thor didn’t seem to mind. His lips were pulled tight, as though he was fighting back a smirk, but he was forcing his gaze to remain straight ahead on the waning crowd.
There was some shouting, cheering even, but mostly the people were gossiping to each other, leaning in close to their friends and family to excitedly talk about what they had just witnessed.
Behind the throne and Loki, Frigga reentered the room through the door to the royal wing of the palace. He was not sure how he knew she was there before, but he did. He knew she had been here for whatever excited the crowd and had left only to return.
“My son,” Frigga touched his shoulder, and Loki turned to her. “You should go speak with her.”
Loki felt his features frown as his eyes stared daggers into the floor. “Mother, now is really not the time for this.”
“There is never a convenient time for love, my son,” Frigga’s hand gently squeezed him through his armor.
“It is not love. She is a stranger, Mother.” Loki dismissed waving Frigga’s hand away in the process.
“She will not remain so,” Frigga ducked her head to one side to force Loki to meet her gaze. “Do you truly doubt me, my son?”
“No,” Loki immediately responded before he could think. Frigga smiled expectantly up at him, and Loki sighed, “But you have just told her she is betrothed to a prince. She isn’t going to feel as though she has a choice, Mother.”
Frigga raised an amused eyebrow, “Do you plan to take her choice from her?”
“Of course not.”
“Then tell her so.” Frigga said it as if it was as easy as that.
“It’s not as simple as that, Mother, and you know it.” Loki could feel an anger bubbling up inside of him. “You announced it to all of Asgard, you already took away her choice in the matter. Wherever she goes, from this day on, they will all know who she was destined for. If she does not want this, she will have to leave Asgard, leave the Nine Realms even, to escape the whispers.”
“Then you will simply have to give her every reason to want to stay.” Frigga rolled her eyes, seemingly exasperated with her second son.
Her hands reached out for his, and Loki knew what that meant. Frigga often took hold of his hands when she wanted him to slow down. His mind flew through possibilities and outcomes so quickly, that sometimes his mother worried he had missed the point, “Loki, I did not make this decision lightly. I made this decision for her as much as I made it for you. An Asgardian life is a thousand times the length of a Midgardian one. To find a soul one can tolerate for eternity is miracle, but to find a soul one can love for eternity?”
“Yes mother,” Loki sighed, “Tolerating their own existence for ten thousand years is hard enough for most of Asgard; finding someone else to tolerate for so long is improbable. And finding someone else to love for that length of time is impossible. I have heard it all before. I do not doubt that what you have given Asgard is a gift. I simply doubt…”
“You doubt yourself, my son.” Frigga reasoned. “She will not. Give it time. You will see. She was not made for you anymore than you were made for her. She is her own person, as are you. But you were born for each other. Across time and space, there is no one else for either of you as perfect as each other. Loki if you give her a chance, you will see it to be so. She is your soulmate.”
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Old Loki pulled them all back from reliving his memory, “There is no such thing as soulmates in the spiritual sense of the word. The fates do not bind souls together. But a soul that so perfectly aligns with yours that you can love them for all eternity is a once in existence sort of thing. In my timeline, Frigga helped people find that, find their soulmates as she called it. And one way or another, with or without Frigga’s help,” Old Loki waved a hand in the direction of Boastful Loki and Kid Loki who still watched Loki suspiciously, “every Loki found her. What you saw was the day I met her, the day Frigga introduced us. Her name was (Y/n), and she was the Goddess of Loyalty.”
Behind Old Loki, Kid Loki gritted his teeth as he relinquished his tense grip on his sword, "Her name was (Y/n), and she was the Servant of Freyja."
Boastful Loki averted his eyes, "Her name was (Y/n), and she was a General of Tyr."
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Note: Someone sent me an ask that said "Classic Loki from Loki the TV Series feels like Loyalty Loki", and that person said that anonymously, but this story is dedicated to that person and that idea.
Please be nice in reviewing this. I literally wrote this in an hour with zero editing on a very bad day when I needed a distraction.
This is set up in such a way that I can continue it as a series if I have time, but if I don't have time than I have tried to give it a relatively concisely ending in and of itself so there is no long term cliffhanger and you can just consider it an easter egg AU of Loyalty.
Anyway, thank you guys for reading good night.