weak | self
→ 004
January 17th, 2008 started out like any other day- Wake up, drink coffee, smoke a cigarette, drive to school. A grunt came from the passenger’s seat, West immediately turned his head and ran his hand up to the top of the steering wheel. “What?”
A brunette boy slouched down, pressing his lips into a line and rubbing his shoulder. “When you checked me yesterday, you fucked up my shoulder.” This was Kyle Woodard, the two had been friends as long as West could remember- Kindergarten, elementary school, middle and now high school, they were always together. He’d never admit it, but Kyle was probably what you could consider to be the blond’s best friend.
“Sorry, bro. At least we don’t have practice today, too?” He took a long drag of his cigarette before tossing it out the window and pulling into the student parking lot. “I do have plans with Taylor, though.”
“Taylor, Taylor, everything is always Taylor.” Kyle brushed his hair out of his face and opened the door before stepping out and swinging his bag over his shoulder. “We don’t do shit together anymore besides hockey,” he slammed the door of the Jeep and walked to the other side, making eye contact with West as he slowly got out and slipped the straps to his backpack onto his shoulders. “Remember when we used to blow up mailboxes? Throw toilet paper on trees during Halloween? You’re no fun anymore.”
“Man, shut the fuck up.” The boy slammed the door and brushed pass Kyle, bumping his shoulder and walking down the paved walkway to the main building of their school. “I’ll see you around.”
“Wait, are you still going to drive me home?”
West turned and pursed his lips before responding, “Taylor,” with a shrug of his shoulders.
“Of course.” Kyle waved off his reply and headed off in a different direction.
At the end of the day, West returned to his teal Jeep to find a tall, slim blonde waiting by the passenger’s side. He inhaled deeply and kept his eyes on the ground on the way to the car, holding his breath and only letting it out when Taylor lifted his head by his chin and planted a long kiss on his lips. “Babe, what happened to your eye?” West opened the door and gestured for her to get in, but she stood her ground. “Tyler. What happened to your eye?”
“I got into a fight yesterday, no big deal.” Lie, lie, lie. He swallowed hard again and felt his chest tighten. “I have to work in two hours, so let’s just go to your place already.”
Soon enough, they arrived at a large, two-story house on the outskirts of south Boston. West parked on the side of the road before following Taylor into her house. It was the same thing, every day after school, too- Cigarette, sex, work, home. It was a routine the boy had grown tired of. He threw himself onto her bed once they had made their way upstairs, staring at the ceiling and waiting for the day to be over with.
Taylor reappeared from her bathroom in nothing but a bra and panties. West didn’t even look at her, he just swallowed and tucked his arms behind his head. This wasn’t something he hadn’t seen, she was the same girl he had been fucking for over a year now. All the benefits of sex, and none of the emotional commitment. Most guys would’ve loved his, but West didn’t. He couldn’t. He was trapped, tired of her never daring to hold his hand in school but jumping his bones when they were alone. She couldn’t be seen with his kind, someone below her people, the poor kid. But she couldn’t stop fucking him. And, despite her flaws and mentality, he couldn’t fall out of love with her. It was a constant battle of wanting to break things off, move on, find someone who would actually love him, and stay like this because he didn’t deserve better. Taylor had no problem reminding him every day that no one else would love him, she was the best he’d ever get.
“Babe,” her voice broke his train of thought and he finally looked to her, eying her up and down and trying to fight that fact the he still liked what he saw.
As she moved closer to the edge of the bed, he sat up and gently placed his hands at her hips, his thumbs rubbing her hips bones and she leaned forward and kissed him forcefully. “Mm,” a small, content moan sounded in the back of her throat as he kissed back, pulling her onto his lap. Her legs on either side, she straddled him and kissed down his jawline and to his neck, pulling gently at the top of his pants. West heaved out a sigh before unbuttoning them and taking off his shirt, tossing it to the side and pulling her back to him, reconnecting their lips hard. If he was going to get this over with quickly, she needed to think he liked it.
“I love you,” he furrowed his eyebrows together and looked down her body before making eye contact.
“I love you, too,” she smiled into the kiss, but West’s heart sank into his stomach. She didn’t mean that. It was just something a stupid sixteen year old girl said to her boyfriend because she was too content to go out and actually do something with her heart. But the problem was still that West meant it, every time, and he always had.
Taylor hadn’t always been the stuck up, pretentious little girl she was now. Back in middle school, she wasn’t popular and she kept her family’s money a secret- That was how she met West and Kyle. The two boys had walked to the local coffee shop to buy the homemade cookies, and a small blonde in the corner caught his eye, her nose stuck in a book. She’s beautiful, Kyle, he grabbed his friend’s shirt before eventually being pushed over to talk to her. But once middle school ended and high school began, Taylor came back completely different, and West ignored her for almost two years. By the beginning of their junior years, the two had rekindled their friendship and West fell hard for the girl who wore glasses instead of contacts and would rather Google facts about space than what celebrity is dating who now. Her friends never let her see him publicly, so they changed their meetings to secrecy, but her double life had molded together into one a little over a year later. Sometimes, they’d lie outside and look at stars, talk about books and life and movies… But most of the time, she didn’t want to ruin her reputation. Those nights were why West continued to hold onto what little they had, the girl he loved was still in there somewhere.
When he flipped them over and toed off his pants, his hand slipped under the hem of her panties and down to rub small circles, her head rolling back slowly. “Ty,” she licked her lips and worked her hips against his hand, eventually gasping as he changed his pace and added two fingers to fill her.
Moments later, West was kneeling on the floor and Taylor’s legs dangled off the side of the bed, his tongue working long licks up her opening occasionally before focusing back on her clit. Her fingers tangled in his hair, his hands holding her legs apart at the knee and feeling himself grow hotter every time she shuddered.
“Baby,” she pulled at his hair, but he didn’t stop, taking her clit between his lips and gently rubbing it until she pulled his head away and kissed him sloppily. “Ty,” he pressed his tongue against hers just to make her shut the fuck up, her hands pulling at the top of his boxers until they eventually slid down to his thighs.
Rubbing the head of his dick against her opening, she loosely gripped the bed sheets. If there was one thing West could do to get Taylor back for all this shit, it would be to make her expect something and then never give it to her. But he was too far gone. With his head held low, he gripped her shoulder with one hand, his other wrapped around her leg, and slid into her forcefully. Quickly, he picked up an aggressive pace and moved his hand to her throat. “Fuck,” he threw his head back and looked at the ceiling before closing his eyes tightly as her legs wrapped around his waist. “Fucking,” he quickly pulled out a minute later and pushed himself downwards, sliding his boxers up to cover his bottom half again.
“What are you doing?” Taylor panted, propping herself up on her elbows.
“I can’t do this anymore.” He turned around and searched the floor for his shirt, sliding it on and avoiding eye contact by looking for his jeans.
“Excuse me?” The blonde girl moved off the bed and grabbed his jeans, holding them in front of her body and shifting her weight to one leg.
Gesturing between them, West was beginning to lose his cool as his voice raised significantly. “This, this, I can’t do this.”
“Then you’re not getting your pants back.” She raised a brow at him, smirking as if she had won.
“I don’t give a shit, I’ll even stop by the thrift store on my way home and get more. They’re like five bucks, not a big deal.” He grabbed his key ring and cell phone off the nightstand and went to the door. “I’m just not doing this, I’m done.”
“You’ll be back,” Taylor shook her head and followed behind him, “you always are. I’m the best you’ll ever get and you know it. No one likes the poor, depressed kid.”
West bit his tongue and went down the steps before sliding his shoes back on at the front door and walking out into the snow to his car. “Fuck,” he slammed his hands onto the steering wheel before resting his forehead against it, ignoring that it was around twenty-five degrees outside and he probably was going to have blue balls on top of maybe actually freezing his balls off. All he could focus one was that she was right. He would be back, he always showed up after school and begged for her forgiveness, because everything she had said was true- She was the best he'd ever get. “Okay.” He inhaled and pushed himself back against the seat before starting the car, “pants, pants... I need pants.”