What’s up, HoloNet! The name’s Ben. Currently 24 years old. I’m the only son of an Alderaanian princess and a Corellian scoundrel, and I have an adopted sister named Rey.
I started this blog when I was fifteen and afraid of becoming a Jedi. To make things worse, I started hearing voices in my head…voices that turned out to be someone who wanted to control me. Luckily, my friends and family got involved, and Snoke seems to have backed off.
I did make friends with some of Uncle Luke’s Jedi students, but I ended up attending the University of Naboo (Go Shaaks!) and got my degree in Journalism, since I’ve always been interested in writing, history, and politics. (Scroll back enough, and you’ll see my cringe pro-Imperial phase from back in the day. Yikes.)
I stayed on Naboo after graduation, and now I write for The Chommell Sector Daily. In my free time I lift weights, write poetry, and fight with people online.
Ask me a question!
—Ben
All Posts in Chronological Order
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Run by @luke-shywalker
Est. 2016
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Friends' Blogs:
Fannie’s Blog: @fanniepentarra
Amalia’s Blog: @mal-is-tall
(Their blogs are dead because they're lame, but maybe if we bother them enough they'll come back)
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Inktober 2016
Posts by Character
Family
Mom: My mother, also known as Senator Leia Organa, also known as Space Mom, also known as Don't Mess With Her. Tough as nails. Also has nice nails.
Dad: My father, also known as Han Solo (or scruffy-looking nerfherder). Isn’t as cool as you think he is, but makes up for it with heart.
Rey: My adopted sister, also known as "Kid". Ten years younger than me. Originally from Jakku. Eats faster than anyone I’ve ever seen.
Uncle Luke: My uncle, also known as Jedi Master Luke Skywalker. Is a cinnamon roll.
Ren the Bantha of Indeterminate Gender or Origin: My stuffed bantha friend. Not much can be known about this humble beast, but they are fiercely loyal.
Threepio: My mom's protocol droid. Has foregone enough memory wipes to pass as sentient. Best ignored.
Artoo: Luke’s beeping trash can. Extremely rude.
Chewie: My dad’s best pal. Gives great hugs. Don’t play holochess with him.
Lumpy: Chewie’s son. About my age in Wookiee years.
Darth Vader: My grandfather. It's complicated.
Friends
Fannie: One of Luke's Jedi students, who has since graduated. Twi'lek. My bestie when we were teens. Mom friend.
Amalia: One of Luke's Jedi students, who has since dropped out. Massive Togruta girl. Frenemy.
Treeso: My roommate from college. Gungan. Solid dude.
Sweeper: My archnemesis: the cleaning droid at work that keeps eating my paper notes.
Ugly Raisin Men Who Have Invaded My Mind With the Force
Snoke: Enough said.
Story Events
The Long Night: (2/25/16 - 4/2/16) In which I woke up from a nightmare and couldn’t sleep.
Space Braces: (5/16/16 - 12/7/2017) In which I got braces.
Get Out of My Head: (8/4/16 - 8/28/16) In which Mom left for a diplomatic mission and left me at home with my dad, and I was consumed by fear and darkness.
The Visit: (10/6/16 - 11/5/16) In which Uncle Luke came to visit us.
Sixteen!: (12/3/16 - 12/11/16) In which I turned sixteen.
Life Day 21 ABY: (12/25/16 - 12/26/16) Life Day!
The Impending Future: (9/10/17 - 9/29/17) In which I had an existential crisis about Mom wanting me to become a Jedi, and I discovered Snoke.
Seventeen!: (12/3/17 - 12/11/17) In which I turned seventeen.
Life Day 22 ABY: (12/25/17 - 12/26/17) Life Day!
A Week With Luke: (12/21/17 - 1/7/18) In which my mom made me spend a week at Luke’s Jedi school.
An Awkward Situation: (4/26/18 - 7/15/18) In which I thought my best friend Fannie was going to ask me out. Like, on a date.
About Amalia: (7/16/18 - 8/7/18) In which I accidentally started a chain of rumors about Amalia, Luke’s mysterious and hardest-to-get-along-with student.
The New Roommate: (4/24/24 - current) In which my roommate Treeso moves out and I have to find someone to take over his lease.
As it turns out, Rey was 100% the person to go to for the Gaya lore. I holocalled her last night and she told me all about Gaya’s rise to Twi’ktok fame a couple years ago, Gaya’s provocative ad campaign for Big Bantha Dairy that angered parents and conspiracy theorists alike, and, of course, Gaya’s long-standing feud with Tay’lor Spiff. And then the discourse about whether Gaya accurately portrays the Twi’leki experience or if she romanticizes and commodifies a species that has already endured a long history of commodification, and whether Gaya should have released a statement of condemnation when Gaya Girlies started making their own “headtail hats” and cosplaying as Twi’leks.
One of the songs on Gaya’s album is about a special rock from Ryloth called Haneya…except multiple Rylothians have come out and been like, “Yeah, we don’t actually have a legend about an ancestral stone, Gaya totally just made that up.” To which Gaya Girlies responded, “Noooo, you don’t understand, Haneya is actually a metaphor for Gaya herself and how she feels displaced and disconnected from her heritage!!!”
I thought I’d be bored by all this celebrity drama, but I. Am. Fascinated. I haven’t even listened to the full album yet.
I asked Rey if she was a Gaya Girlie. She rolled her eyes and said, “Yeah, right. Only when I was a kid.”
When she was a kid. Right. Classic thirteen-year-old.
I wonder what Fannie thinks about Gaya, being a Rylothian Twi’lek herself. I haven’t talked to Fannie in so long but I feel like she’d have some interesting perspectives. Maybe I’ll message her this week…
Idk how to explain to ppl on tumblr that accidentally killing bacteria on mars and carelessly destablizing delicate ecosystems and purposefully systematically displacing and murdering real human ppl on earth are not the same thing in the slightest
