#spazzeon

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LAMBGAME ENDLAMB

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Everything's better with butter! #videos #recentsnaps #spazzeon

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@triangle-ears replied to your post “Most of my free time lately has been devoted to studying quanta and...”

I've been studying consciousness lately too but from the esoteric side.

Same, well, I believe they go hand in hand. I was really into esoteric stuff in my early 20′s just kinda for fun and aesthetic, and now to rediscover my interest in it through quantum mechanics and my Vedic meditation practice has been really great, it finally caused that spontaneous change that I have been working so hard at all these years in meditation. I was like, “oh, okay, I understand what the healers meant now.” When I was in the healing program at the Chopra Center, they taught us all this, but it still took me so many years to not only spiritually/emotionally/physically “detox” a lot of my ama buildup and conditioning, but to fully understand what it all had to do with atoms and quanta, and what atoms had to do with consciousness, and further what that has to do with life and these weird meat machines we pilot.

@zephra85 replied to your post “My phone is haunted and making scary noises ; ;”

I ever tell you about the time a ghost texted me from my empath friend's phone? Wild times, wild times.

Noooo ; ;

@spazzeon replied to your post “Play life like a video game.”

Cheat codes and a lot of pee breaks

And SNACKS

@lachryphage replied to your post “Kinda uncharitable whining and based in ego emotional response and...”

Especially because there are chronic illnesses that target the digestive system directly??? Like i have celiac there ain't no pills for that.

Seriously. When my colitis flares, it usually brings so much anxiety and depression with it. The body is one being.

@talesofvinor replied to your post “I’ve been fighting Krauser for 45 mins ;0;”

Easily the hardest fight in the game, he's too speedy and slashy

I kept shooting him with the Broken Butterfly to get him on his knees, then I’d knife him in the head a few times but then he’d do his crazy legsweep jump in the air arm shank over and over again.

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Eventful week of doc appointments, @spazzeon hangouts, a shoot, and kitten babysitting.

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@spazzeon replied to your post: The sound of sports games is genuinely distressing

I hate hearing people yell at sports, it freaks me out.

It was Meltdown City for me as a kid except no one knew it was meltdowns. They just thought I was really weird/dramatic for crying uncontrollably when the adults screamed at the sports

I really wish that my parents had more access to things to teach them about this kind of stuff with kids. They did the best they could with both their combination of disorders but now that I’m thinking about it, I STILL have these meltdowns except now they’re a lot more quiet (unless provoked to explode) and potentially harmful to myself because I find it hard to speak and everything feels like a hologram more than usual. Like I remember I was trying to do the dishes as a teen and my dad started nagging at me for not washing them right and then my sister joined in and it literally upset me so much that I had to put myself in the bathroom and just go facedown on the floor for 30 minutes and then they criticized me when they found me, like I was just being dramatic. To them it was silly, they’re just dishes. But to me, it was the same as when my dad sighs and tells me to learn to write prettier in handwriting (I just cannot, I write the same as I did in like 2nd grade probably which was way behind the other kids), or when my friend-bullies would do everything they could to shame me for liking literally anything I liked. It was like, nothing I did would ever be mine to enjoy, to be safe, be okay not being perfect.

Liek dude... that is not the thoughts or behavior of a healthy, adjusted child or any age person who can cope with emotions and since no matter where I went, I was constantly being picked on for every little thing. My face, my body, my voice, my laugh, my facial hair and crazy eyebrows, my teeth, my freckles, weirdness, my overexcitement, my jumping around and playing, my interests, my obsessions, my use of big words, how I couldn’t really catch sarcasm so it made it REALLY easy for anyone to trick me into believing something, or just make fun of me when I totally thought they were being serious. Like, literally all the time at school, no matter what I did, I did it weird. I moved weird, I constantly tripped over my own feet, I laughed ugly. 

That kind of shit, constantly, over my life, was my first sense of self. It’s how Vanessa came to be. My first inner voice. She’s real mean to me while Mr. Brain is just like. He’s just a fella, Mr. Brain. Hear crazy noises outside while at work?? RUN TO THE DOOR AND LOOK AROUND IN WORRY because surely, that was a PLANE CRASH but then nothing is there. 

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You need to start a sims gaming series on your channel!

That would be fun. Hmmm. 

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#spazzeon #purikura #プリクラ

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"yaaay yaaaay whoooa yes pretty is my face a rainbow" #videos #spazzeon #recentsnaps