With Phil so adamantly stating that the conversation with Pangi couldn't be lore and that he wouldn't do official lore I wanted to kinda go into my opinion of tr!Phil and how while Phil isn't actively following a character story he still SHOWS a lot of character in everything he does.
The fact that he keeps going that he doesn't wanna do lore is so funny because his character makes so much fucking sense. Like if his stories are chronological (which they've been so far) it makes SENSE for him to be like this!
He came from the qsmp basically, came from loosing his found family, his friend's, his platonic husband, his children. The qsmp got Phil to crack and to actually feel, to allow himself to attach to mortality. And it broke him, the enderking, the loss, the constant mental torture. This server did severe damage to Phil and it shows in the realm so well!
He's isolating hard, he remembers faces and allies but to fully trust them and depend on them like he did on the qsmp? Yeah he can't handle going through that again so he leaves. Finds a safe haven on an island where mobs can't spawn and detaches himself from anyone and anything. He focuses on wood cutting, a mindless task that also allows him to get any bubbling anger out if needed
He'd deny the fact that the feeling of an axe is too familiar, and putting it down feels wrong....the name of code breaker almost slipping past his lips when sneeg asks for the name goes ignored like a lot of things
He sees the things that remind him, fights them with denial, annoyance and anger. And it's borderline painful to see, hell mostly BECAUSE that qsmp Phil is still there!
The fucking mushroom island has become a neutral gathering place for yellow, because as always people just flock to where Phil is. And he still cares for everyone, he helps where he can, gathers things of value and hands them out to people he sees as worthy of owning them. Phil tries so hard to detach after what happened on the qsmp but he truly can't bring himself to.
The conversation with pangi is the BEST example, Phil noticed his relationship to Pili because he can't loose his paranoid observations. He hands the weapon which is incredibly strong over because he can't help but care for emotional states. And he denies having friends to pangis face knowing full well that that's a lie, that sneeg won't leave his side and has moved onto the mushroom island with him, that Phil didn't tear down bagheras house because he can't handle truly pushing her away.
It's heartwarming as much as it is heartbreaking because he tries so hard not to care but deep down he's still Phil, he's still the father that loved all his children with unrelenting love and cared for his friends and husband with his own life. Tr!Phil is the pieces q!Phil left behind and he tries so hard to bury those pieces and rebuild the shell he once had but he's been changed to an extent that he can not undo. So he just lives in denial