Things I'd wish you'd stop saying...Sincerely, A special needs mom
Sometimes you say things. Things that hurt me. Things that cause me to grit my teeth. You probably don't know these things bother me. But they do.
1. Using the word "retard" in a joking matter.
When I hear you say this word, it hurts. It pains me that there in a world full of colorful vocabulary the word you chose to describe something is by saying "retard" or "retarded". I know you're better than that. We all are. Consider those around you and monitor your language, please.
2. Saying "God gives special children to special people."
(This one is a hot button)
No. He doesn't. I was not selected to have a special child. It just happened. It's something genetic. Like being born with blue eyes. Special needs children all over the world are abandoned by their parents. KILLED by the hands of their own flesh. Put in hospitals where people treat them like trash. Special needs children sometimes end up in broken homes where drugs are involved. It's terrible and I refuse to believe the children who suffer, suffer for the reason that they were chosen when they can't even understand why.
I was not given a child with special needs because I'm a hard working mother. I am just a hard working mother who happens to have a special needs child.
3. Telling me to "Get a life" (a social life)
(yes, it's been said to me)
I would choose to be with my family and child and at my house. Why? Because I do a lot of things to take care of my family. When I'm not taking care of them, I like to take care of myself and spend time with them. Parker wouldn't thrive if I wasn't so involved with him and THAT is what is my number one priority. Making sure that my son succeeds. That is what makes me happy. Not putting myself out in the open scouting for a friend. Because honestly, finding friends is pretty frigging hard.
Either way...it's not really your business to tell me how to live my life. Unless you want to come do my chores for me :p
4. "You shouldn't have anymore kids."
Although you may not know it... Sometimes you're on this journey called life. You hit a few bumps. But do you put your life on hold? No. You keep going and hope the future may bring something that can heal you and bring more joy into your life.
I promise that you don't ever have to be sorry that my son is special needs. I'm not sorry. I love him just the way he is and every single day he surprises me. The smallest accomplishments are the greatest gifts. He keeps me smiling each and every day. He has helped me grow as a person. I am stronger. I am wiser. I care more. Most importantly I take nothing for granted. I appreciate everything my son gives me.
6. Saying "Well they can't really tell if he has (enter diagnosis here)"
I know it's crazy to believe doctors can detect things are wrong, when someone isn't able to tell them something is wrong, but there's a ton of new technology that makes it so. Questioning my trust in our team of doctors can make it feel like you a questioning me. If you have questions about how a test works, then just ask me how they do it! I'll be happy to explain :)
Gotta Run! Teething fussy baby on my hands!
