Oct 9, 2019
A young Kaidan Alenko, pre-Normandy years
@spectrekaidanalenko
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A young Kaidan Alenko, pre-Normandy years
@spectrekaidanalenko
Time to Go
My contribution to kaidanweek2019, Pre-Normandy days @spectrekaidanalenko
Tears fell from the corners of his eyes and he sniffled before swiping his sleeve across his nose. His mother would have admonished him but she was busy in the orchard with his father.
Grabbing his school backpack, Kaidan stuffed a shirt, jeans, socks, and underwear inside it along with a set of pajamas. On top of the pile of clothes, he carefully placed his well-worn bedtime story book, Little Bear. Through teary eyes, he cast one last look around the room. Saddened he’d almost forgotten his favorite toy, he placed his bunny named Jeff, which played Brahms Lullaby, in there as well.
The pack was getting full but he still had a little room. Inside went a picture of him with his parents, a flashlight, and of course, his favorite blue and white blankie.
Staring down at the now almost bursting backpack, he worried his lower lip. He had to take his pillow. Grabbing it, he stuffed it inside, crushing everything down. The zipper barely closed but he managed.
His parents were outside planting new saplings. They’d told him he could help but Kaidan lied, saying he didn’t feel good. Well, a little lie. It still made him feel horrible, especially when his mother fussed over him.
“What’s wrong, baobai? Is it your head, your tummy? Something else?” She felt his forehead with her hand.
Momma always took good care of him. At the door to his bedroom stood Poppa, a look of concern in his eyes. Kaidan had begun getting really bad headaches sometimes. This wasn’t one of those and he felt awful for pretending to be sick. Lying really did make his tummy hurt.
Eventually, his parents went outside and told him they’d come check on him in awhile. He’d been sure any minute one or both of them would come back and tell him they knew about the lie.
But they didn’t.
Shuffling down to the kitchen, Kaidan grabbed a chair, pushed it over to the pantry, climbed up and opened the door. He needed food. Something he didn’t have to make. He helped Momma make cookies sometimes and once she let him help make bread but he couldn’t do that on his own. He stared at the boxes before him – crackers, cookies, pop tarts he got only on Saturdays. He’d need some water, too.
Grabbing three or four of each, he pushed them into the pockets all around the backpack, the stuffed-to-bursting middle making it hard to squeeze them in. He opened it up and pulled out Jeff. Satisfied he had everything he needed, it was time to go. If he hurried, he could be gone before his parents knew.
Peeking through the window, he saw that they were in the barn. They’d be cleaning up and coming in soon. He had to hurry!
Slipping his feet into his boots lined up just by the door, he climbed up on the bench to reach his coat and scarf hung on hooks. The weather was still cool right now for spring. Kaidan opened the door, turning around to ease it closed. He didn’t want to alert his parents he was running away. They might not let him go.
“Kaidan? Son, where are you going?”
Little shoulders slumped in defeat. His father stood behind him. So close. He sniffled again, “I…I was…” He couldn’t even finish his sentence. There was no way Poppa would understand and he just knew he was now in trouble.
“I’ll tell you what, let me go get your mom and we’ll sit down and have a cup of hot chocolate before you go. Deal?”
Kaidan’s head whipped up to look at his father, eyes wide. “Really?” He wasn’t mad! Relief surged through him but then he had another thought. He wasn’t mad…yet.
“Yeah, really.” Ruffling his son’s hair, he went to get Grace.
Remaining on the porch by the front door, Kaidan waited, hands in his pockets. It was getting cooler by the minute. Hot chocolate sounded so good. He didn’t get it often so he was a little surprised Poppa had offered it.
He watched as both parents came out of the barn and walked towards him. Poppa had his arm around Momma and they were whispering to each other. They looked serious…but happy. Unsure, he scuffed the toe of his boot against the porch.
Maybe they wouldn’t be mad until after hot chocolate. Maybe they’d put whipped cream and chocolate shavings on it like they did for him sometimes. He could almost taste it, even now.
His parents approached the porch, his mother leaving his father’s side to kneel before him. “You’re father said you’re leaving?"
Kaidan didn’t miss how her eyes caught on the backpack, his warm clothes, Jeff snuggled under his arm. He’d had to take him out of the backpack, needing him close by.
"Yes,” he answered in a small voice.
“Well, you can’t go without some hot chocolate first, yes? With whipped cream and chocolate shavings?"
Eyes alight with joy, Kaidan nodded emphatically. He was starting to feel better.
Grace smiled, "Maybe a few cookies?"
At the mention of cookies, he felt guilty again. He’d taken some for his backpack. A shrug was his only answer, head bent towards the ground, unable to look his mother in the eye.
Placing a hand on his shoulder, she urged him into the house and Kaidan complied, not sure if he even deserved the treats anymore. After all, he’d lied to his parents and then planned on leaving.
His father eased the backpack off his shoulders and hoisted him into a chair at the breakfast bar before joining his wife in the kitchen. They maneuvered around each other effortlessly, almost like they were dancing. Kaidan was amazed. He always felt like he was in the way, though his mother never said so when they worked together in the kitchen.
Soon, the wonderful smell of hot chocolate filled the air along with pumpkin cinnamon cookies. His favorite. They were even better than chocolate chip.
His mother placed three mugs side by side, the one in front of him topped with a big swirl of whipped cream. Kaidan didn’t think he’d ever seen her give him so much. Nearly bouncing in his seat, he grabbed the mug and took a sip and then licked his lips.
He turned to look at his father, who laughed when he saw his son. “You have a moustache…a white one.”
“I do?” He crossed his eyes as he looked down, trying to see it. Both parents laughed out loud.
“Ah, baobai, you can’t see it yourself. Here, look now.” She held the shiny toaster up to his face.
He grinned at his warped reflection…and the white, creamy moustache he now had. Looking back at his father, excitement in his voice, he exclaimed, “I have a moustache, Poppa! Just like you!”
Alek laughed at his son’s enthusiasm. “You do indeed, though yours is white and mine isn’t. Yet, anyway.”
Grace caught his eye and he nodded subtly, so she added some whipped cream to his cup as well. He took a drink and turned to his son who watched him avidly. Kaidan erupted in laughter, little hands clapping together, upon seeing his father’s dark moustache covered in white foam. One hand reached out and swiped through the whipped cream, smiling at the darker hair beneath it.
“Now it’s white, Poppa.”
His mother sat down on the other side of him and together, they all ate cookies and drank hot chocolate. Time passed outside, the sun lighting the room up in a cozy, orange glow. Darkness was falling quickly and Kaidan’s eyes started drooping.
“Are you ready to go now, baobai?”
Setting a half eaten cookie down, he asked her, “Go where?”
Biting back a smile, Grace reminded him, “You were packed and ready to leave.”
Focusing on his cookie, Kaidan twisted it on his plate, “Oh…yeah.” The cookie became nothing more than crumbles as he played with it.
Alek put a hand on his son’s back, rubbing up and down. “Want to talk about it?”
Kaidan continued to play with the cookie before blurting out, “William doesn’t want to be my friend anymore.” His lower lip quivered and a tear slowly tracked down his face. “He said he had a…a new…f-friend. Why can’t we all be friends?”
The tears started in earnest, though Kaidan barely made a sound except an occasional sniffle. Both of his parents wrapped him in a hug, Grace wiping away the tears and planting a kiss on one chubby cheek.
“Oh baobai, my heart, my boy…I’m so sorry you lost your friend.” She placed a hand over his heart, “I know it hurts very much, right here.”
Alek reassured him, hoping his words made sense to such a young mind, “Son, the hurt will heal in time. Someday, you’ll share laughter, adventures, loss and pain with special people who come into your life. That’s when you’ll know who your true friends are. There will be many Williams growing up but trust me, those who remain by your side no matter what…those friends you’ll keep close to your heart.”
Once again, Kaidan wiped his nose on his sleeve, his mom tsking him before getting up and handing him a tissue. Blowing into it, he looked up at his father, eyes wet and shiny with unshed tears. “But…what about William? I want him to still be my friend.”
His father held him close, “I know, son, I know. However, you can’t make people be your friend. It just doesn’t work that way. Continue to treat William with the same kindness you always have. That’s the best you can do. Just remember to always be yourself and never do anything for anyone to make them like you.”
Voice muffled with his head snuggled into his father’s side, he answered, “Okay, Poppa.”
“It’ll still hurt but I promise it will get better.” Alek pulled away from his son. “You ready to go now?”
Kaidan looked outside, “C-can I stay until morning?”
Grace moved up beside Alek and her son, “Of course you can. We can tuck you in if you’d like.”
He appeared to consider it before nodding his head in agreement. Taking his mother’s hand, he hopped down and followed her to his room, his father close behind. Eyes droopy, he was nearly sleep walking. Alek reached down to pick him up and carry him up the stairs to his bedroom.
They helped him into his pajamas and waited while he climbed into bed. Alek leaned down and kissed the thick, dark curls before straightening up. At bedtime, Kaidan preferred his mother to stay with him and read a story.
“Goodnight, son. Sleep well and we’ll help see you off in the morning.”
As he turned to leave, he saw a piece of paper with a child’s scrawled writing in blue crayon. He grabbed it on his way out, knowing it wasn’t needed anymore. Before he left the room, Kaidan bolted upright in bed, eyes wide and fearful.
“Jeff! Where’s Jeff?” he cried out.
“I bet he’s still downstairs. I’ll go get him.”
“Shhh, it’s okay. Poppa will get Jeff for you and you can sleep with him by your side.” He relaxed and nodded. “You really like Jeff, don’t you?” He nodded again. “Would you say Jeff is your friend?”
Kaidan appeared to think about that for a few minutes before saying, “He is. I talk to him and he listens. He goes with me everywhere. Jeff even plays music to me when I can’t sleep.”
“That’s right. He’s a really good friend, isn’t he?”
Smiling sleepily, he nodded, “He’s my best friend.”
Alek came back with Jeff and handed him to Grace who wound him up, Brahms Lullaby playing softly throughout the room. She tucked him next to Kaidan, covering them both with the big, blue blanket covered in a space theme. Sitting gently on the bed, she tucked a stray curl of hair behind his ear, then rubbed one finger around the shell of his ear gently, over and over. Soon, he was asleep.
She moved to stand beside Alek, each wrapping an arm around the other. They stood there, looking at their beautiful boy, a kind and gentle soul who was always trying to do the right thing. Every day they were grateful to have him in their lives.
Startling them both, Kaidan spoke up, voice laden with sleep, “Momma, Poppa…I think I don’t want to run away anymore. I want to stay here at home. I love you.”
Grace placed a hand over her mouth, a tear slipping silently down her face. Alek laid his head gently against hers, squeezing her close to him. Quietly, they slipped out of their son’s room, his Mars night light glowing softly. It looked like disaster had been averted and he was here to stay.
“We love you, too, Kaidan.”
Kaidan is a planner and of course, for Shepard’s birthday, he’d go all out; a cake decorated like the stars in the galaxy reminding him of John, a well thought out birthday message saying that. And, being a romantic, he’d orchestrate a view of the sunset for just the two of them, candles everywhere, even spelling out a message in the bedroom and the best part - a private, sexy bubble bath with champagne and strawberries leading to the best part of the night...just the two of them together, Kaidan showing John just exactly how much he loved and meant to him.
Happy Birthday, Shepard ♥
Thank you to @spectrekaidanalenko for all you’ve done for the fandom ;) You’ve been awesome and will be missed.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
For @shotce because she requested it ;) The 2nd chapter for this fic for Shenko Thursday - the theme of food all throughout the fic.
Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard Characters: Kaidan Alenko, Male Shepard (Mass Effect), Kaidan Alenko's Mother, Kaidan Alenko's Father Additional Tags: Autumn Weather, Meeting the Parents, Learning about the orchard, Fluff, flirty fun, Bonfire, End of Harvest party, Cooking and canning
Summary: Autumn colors, life in an apple orchard, and meeting the parents. Jon doesn't know what to do with himself...
Comforting a Friend
I wrote this for Virmire week over at @spectrekaidanalenko - just something silly and cute ;)
For darjeeling/Normandy day
Kaidan walked into the mess at 0600, freshly showered, hair perfectly in place despite the hour. Mornings were not his strong suit - no matter how many early mornings he’d suffered through in the Alliance - and he made a beeline for the coffee pot. Hot and fresh first thing in the morning, a rarity at any other time of the day. The primary reason he found it a bit easier to get up when his alarm when off at the ass crack of dawn.
Pouring the liquid gold into his cup while glancing around for the sugar, he heard shuffling and looked around.
The newest member of the Normandy, Ashley Williams, sat at a table all by herself. Other soldiers enjoyed their chow and personal morning brew, tea or coffee, in groups of two or three. None of them bothering to include her.
A wave of sympathy moved through him. He knew what it felt like to be on the outside looking in. It surely didn’t help their CO hadn’t been too happy with Kaidan for bringing her aboard in order to fill Jenkins’ vacancy.
But Kaidan had seen the way she fought, how she’d pushed through. It had to be painful and horrific to lose your whole squad in such a way. Maybe it was why Shepard was less than thrilled but ultimately hadn’t resisted too much - he knew how it felt first hand. Now their CO, he was slowly beginning to warm up to her. Maybe there was hope after all.
Pushing his thoughts aside, he approached her table, “Mind some company?”
She didn’t even look up at him which made Kaidan think maybe she didn’t want company, which would explain why no one had sat with her. Giving him a flat, noncommittal, “Have a seat,” followed by a sarcastic, “I don’t own the ship,” he wondered if sitting with her was a good idea at all. However, it took more than a bad attitude to sway him.
He savored the first heavenly sips of his coffee in an effort to wake up and engage her properly. This would take finesse and care. For Williams, you needed to be firing on all cylinders. Something he’d observed about her immediately.
Half a cup down, he figured he was ready, starting with something simple, “Have breakfast yet?”
A sullen, “No,” was his only response.
Perfect. Getting up, he went to grab two trays of powdered eggs, microwaved pancakes and of course, imitation bacon. Back at the table, he set a tray down in front of her. “Here you go. Eat up.”
He began to eat his own breakfast, watching as she simply stared at hers. Voice soft, he told her, “You need to eat, Ashley. You need to go on, keep their memory alive.” Swallowing a bite of bacon while trying to hide his distaste, he added, “Don’t let them be forgotten.”
She’d been staring at her plate, making no move to eat any of it. After his speech, she picked up her fork but only played with her eggs, moving them around the tray, yet still not eating them.
Sullen dark brown eyes gazed up at him, “I should have died with them.”
Her words were rough, tumbling from her lips. Kaidan could plainly hear the anguish she tried to hide. Her fork continued to move the food around instead of eating it.
“You have sisters, right? Younger ones?” An idea had just occurred to him. It was crazy and would probably have the whole ship laughing or thinking he was nuts but after Eden Prime, a respite was needed. Even laughter. If it was at his own expense, so be it. Ashley needed something else to focus on. “But you didn’t. You’re here and alive. Listen, I’m here to help if you need me. Just let me know.”
She looked back up at him, then, genuine relief and hopefulness in her gaze. Acting tough was a defense mechanism. Oh, how well he knew that having been through BaAT. “Really?”
“Yeah, really.”
A smile, tentative, tipped the corners of her lips. “Thanks, LT. I really appreciate it.”
Not wanting to lose what headway he’d made, he nodded and finished his breakfast. Ashley sat up straight and began to eat with a bit more enthusiasm. Grabbing his empty tray and cup, he got up and left the mess.
The idea he had spurred him into action.
A few hours later, with Shepard’s okay, he stepped back from what he was doing in the observation deck. Looked just like he remembered as a kid. He could go get Ashley now. She was likely down in the cargo bay, cleaning and fixing weapons.
Stepping from the elevator in the cargo bay, he saw he’d been correct in his assessment. He walked over, “Hey, Ashley. Got a minute?” She didn’t have any orders other than doing what she currently was.
Looking up from the weapon, she glanced over at him, one dark eyebrow sliding up, “Uh, sure. I’m nearly done with cleaning these anyway.”
Stopping what she was doing, she turned and leaned against her work station. “So, what’s up, LT?”
“I…” he rubbed the back of his neck. This seemed silly in retrospect but he pushed on, resolute, “I’ve got something to show you. Meet me outside the observation deck as soon as you’re done with the weapon there.”
Without waiting for a response, he turned and made for the elevator. He had to stop at the mess first. Maybe he was a chicken for not waiting to see her reaction. The look on her face when she saw his idea was more important right now.
Grabbing what he needed from the mess, he met Ashley at the observation deck. She stood just outside the door, glancing at him as he approached. “Are you always this mysterious, LT?”
“A man has to have some secrets,” was his only answer.
He tapped the lock and the doors opened. She glanced around, taking in everything he’d done, “What’s this?”
Unable to discern from her voice or body language what she thought, he hedged, “You can’t tell?” He walked across the room and placed his items from the mess near the setup he’d created.
“Well, yeah, I can. But…why?”
He turned and gazed at her, “I thought you might enjoy just…letting go for a bit. I know how much your squad…your family…meant to you. As much as we all mean to each other on this ship.” She snorted in response but he pushed on, knowing she didn’t truly feel a part of the Normandy yet, “I thought a little bit of fun might help.”
Her eyes gazed at all he’d done, for her. She was quiet for a while, overwhelmed.
Before her was an array of chairs from wherever he could find them, placed in a circle with standard Alliance Navy issue blankets thrown over the top. One side was open to the room. On the wall opposite the opening hung a couple of white sheets placed side by side.
Inside were mounds of pillows and even more blankets. Ashley wondered if he’d stripped every bed in the crew’s quarters…and who he’d bribed to use them all.
Inside the fort were a stock of sodas and snacks. Where had he gotten all this stuff? She looked back at him, watching as he poured popcorn into a bowl. He’d gone to a lot of trouble to do this, for her.
She blurted, “So, you made a blanket fort?”
He couldn’t stop the blush forming across his cheeks. Good thing she couldn’t see it from behind him, “Uh…yeah.” Words tumbled from his lips in the answering quiet, “Didn’t you ever make them with your sisters growing up? I did with my cousins. It was always fun and gave us a sense of comfort, of happiness in the face of whatever catastrophes going on in our lives, little as they were back then. We all need those feelings, even when we’re adults. The comfort, the joy…a sense of peace in the midst of chaos.”
Ashley smiled at him, a genuine one this time. It was the first real smile he’d seen on her face since she’d boarded the Normandy. “I do remember them.” She looked back at the fort, “Some of the happiest memories I have are us making blanket fort whenever we moved when my dad was stationed somewhere new. We only had each other much of the time.” Glancing to the opposite wall, she asked, “But what’s up with the sheets?”
He grinned, grabbed the bowl of popcorn and walked over to crawl inside the fort, motioning for her to join him, “I heard through some scuttlebutt, Top Gun is your favorite movie.: He tapped on his omni-tool. Soon, the opening music played over the speakers in the ceiling and the movie began, playing across the sheets.
Ashley laughed and impulsively, leaned over and hugged him, causing him to turn red in embarrassment, “Kaidan! This is amazing! It’s perfect!”
Smiling at her enthusiasm, encouraged by the sparkle in her dark brown eyes, Kaidan handed her the bowl of popcorn. They both dug into it, popping handfuls in their mouths and grabbed a soda each, before settling against the pillows to watch the movie.
Only fifteen minutes into it, the door whooshed open. They turned as one, hands full of popcorn pausing in front of their mouths as if caught red-handed.
Shepard walked in, glanced at the makeshift screen and then at two of his soldiers currently huddled together inside a blanket fort. Always intense, clear blue eyes, focused on them, his dark eyebrows raised. Kaidan became worried. He had okayed the idea with him first. Was he upset now?
“So, can anyone join this party?”
Sighing with relief, they both nodded. They made room for him, the three of huddled inside the fort, reclining against the pillows, suddenly lobbing popcorn kernels at each other.
The three of them formed a tight bond in that moment. Kaidan just knew their solid friendship would see them through the war ahead. No matter what.
my Cousland, Levitan, probably some long-lost cousin of Gil’s. i’m sending him to you so he can hug you and make you some tea and compliment your eyes and tell you nice things in Spanish to make you feel better. chin up, friend, the best days are yet to come. my ask is open if you need to talk ♥ ♥
if you're playing Skyrim on the PC there's a marriable Serana mod that i use/love! it's on the Nexus i think. it's very good!
ohh i might have to try that. i usually use steam workshop and not the nexus (as laggy and annoying as steam can be, it’s just easier for me than bothering with the nexus lmao). but i rly love serana so i might just go ahead and try that mod as long as it’s compatible with my other ones.
funny thing is, i’ve never actually had my dragonborn get married in skyrim? like i always adopt kids (i really want to adopt more than two. bethesda let me adopt two kids for each house i own pls) but i’ve never bothered with the marriage option. though that’s probably mostly bc all the npcs i’d want to marry are unmarriageable w/o mods, haha.
@spectrekaidanalenko asked me to talk about Gilan and Zevran’s favourite things about each other, so here you have it!