#speculosexual

[d0gbite]

complicated orientation explanation time, in honour of pride month:

who i am attracted to and in what way has been extremely confusing for me over the past couple years. when i was a teenager, i came out to everyone as bisexual and thought that was the end of it; plain and simple. but i’m not sure that’s entirely accurate.

i’m definitely abrosexual, and speculosexual (a term i coined under the abro umbrella meaning your attraction fluctuates based on the gender of your partner/whoever you’re currently attracted to) and so it changes sometimes, but here’s what i’m thinking for right now:

i am allosexual aromantic towards men. i am completely sexually attracted to men, but feel 0 romantic attraction to them. in fact, im pretty romance-repulsed towards men.

i am allosexual and demi(?)lesbiromantic towards women. i typically only feel sexual or romantic attraction to them after forming a strong bond. i prefer women (and feminine nonbinary people), at this point in time.

i haven’t had enough attraction to nonbinary people yet to figure that out. i think it heavily depends on the vibe of the enban. my current partner is nonbinary, and both of us consider them to fall under my lesbianism. i’m not sure i have or do actually experience romantic attraction to anyone but them.

to sum this up i’ve been thinking aroallo speculosexual bisexual lesbian. that still doesn’t completely explain it, but it’s the closest i’ve gotten so far without having to list each type of attraction i feel to who, when, and to what degree.

i am also polyamorous/ambiamorous, but prefer open relationships or non-exclusive queerplatonic relationships.

[d0gbite]

i know i haven’t posted in 2 years but here is a flag i wanted to show you:

Speculosexual

definition:

> a sexuality that mirrors your current partner/person(s) of attraction; attraction to certain genders fluctuates depending on the gender of your person of attraction (poa)

example:

> when in a relationship with a woman, my sexuality changes to feel more attracted to women and feminine-aligned people. when in a relationship with a man, my sexuality shifts to feel more attraction towards masculinity and men. the same applies for other genders.

details:

> “speculo” comes from Latin and means “mirror”, symbolizing the reflection of your poa

> this label falls under the Abrosexual label, which itself falls under the Bisexual umbrella (part of the reason i used purple & blue, 2 of the bi flag colours). the terms can be used in conjunction with one another or separately as a microlabel.

>it doesn’t have to be fluidity between attraction for women and men, it can be any combination of genders or presentation you’re attracted to. like fluidity of attraction for women and non-binary people, attraction for men, genderfluid people, and androgynes, etc.

>coined by me on April 25th 2023. flag also created by me.

flag meaning:

> the meaning of each stripe is as follows:

Dark Purple: Reflection

Violet: Self-Awareness

Light Violet: Transformation (from one sexuality to another)

White: Mirroring (white is the colour of mirrors)

Silver Blue: Fluidity

Light Blue: Clarity

Dark Blue: Self-Reflection

> the gradient from dark to light to dark represents the transition period between attractions, perhaps while changing partners/poa’s. it is the “fluid” period while your attraction changes.

> the heart symbols represent you and your poa. their reflection across the white stripe (the mirror) symbolize your attraction reflecting their gender.