#speed dating.

[glamchalamet]

So, let me just start out by saying that this shit is totally out of my comfort zone and not something I’d normally do. But with that being said, I’m Nick (the better looking and the best Jonas, by the way). And yes, I may be quite a short man, but I promise the lack of height makes up for the length in inches elsewhere... If you know what I’m saying. A lot of people have called me an old soul for most of my life. Probably because I enjoy cigars, golf, co-owning my own brand of tequila, and occasionally dating people that are way older than me. I know I sound boring, but I think I’m quite the good time if you really get to know me. I will also supply you with free Villa One Tequila if you decide to go on a date with me or even just hook up with me. I love sex and I’m not afraid to admit that. I’m about to be divorced real soon, so I’m keeping my options open and getting into the swing of things again. I’m also open to meeting new friends if you’re not looking for anything at the moment. It’s nice to meet you!

My legs are options, I’ll keep them open for you.

[killapunk]

@sunaraw oh god I should draw that

[glamchalamet]

Hi! okay so I don't do this whole dating thing, like all the people here are cute, right? I'm Sydney, 5'3, naturally blonde yes I promise, yes my boobs are real, I like vodka, girls, boobs, also I love guys, but the tall ones, also the old ones, please don't judge me. I also like long walks on the beach and I hate pina coladas and I hate getting caught in the rain, my hair goes all frizzy.

I love vodka, girls, boobs, and guys, too. We have so much in common! I ain’t judging. Sometimes the older folk really know what they’re doing, you know?

[glamchalamet]

You know, I really wasn’t going to do this, but then I had another drink and looking over, it felt right to bless everyone with 120 seconds with me. Mmm, lets see. I’m Lily James. I’m 32 years old and still, in all my years of experience, I haven’t learned how to not make a strong drink. I’m an Aries- which I don’t think really matters since the whole sign things is bullshit and it’s really a mindfuck if you think about it. I binge watch tv shows in my spare time, and my binges solely depend on my mood. I feel like I binge three different shows at a time so I’m never bored. I’m really into true crimes, and I’ll talk your ear off about the latest Investigation Discovery binge I just went on on a Friday night. And if it’s not true crime, it’s something completely nerdy like Star Trek or Marvel and the pajamas or boxers that match them are getting pulled out. And not to toot my own horn- but I’m a Disney princess. If that doesn’t win you over, I don’t know what will. And with 10 more seconds I’ll just leave you with this just like the last person that ghosted you- I’m not looking for anything serious, but I don’t think you are either. So just knock on my door later and let me know what kinda binge mood you’re in. Hopefully it’s something we’ve both already seen. (Lily J.)

Are you inviting me to Netflix and chill with you? Or, as it’s better referred to as, Chalamet and chill? Because maybe not tonight, but I’m very willing to take you up on that offer.

[glamchalamet]

Is this how the cool kids talk these days, in five minutes or less? I'm Bill, thirty years old, I'm an actor. Maybe I'm in your least favorite movie. I'm a dad to a two year old girl, and one out of eight, so I have plenty of siblings for you to rebound me with if it doesn't work out. I'm really selling myself here. I'm Swedish, I can reach anything off the top shelf if you need a helping hand. I'm just here to have a little fun. Does this sound like a poorly written dating app bio yet?

Yeah, I’d suck your dick sometime.

[glamchalamet]

i don’t think i’ve ever done this so my sincerest apologize if this turns into a train wreck in a matter of seconds. my name is alexander skarsgard, i am one of many brothers who are arguably less talented than i am ( don’t tell them i said that -- especially bill. ) i’m forty four with no kids. i don’t like long walks on the beach, but sex on the beach is an entirely different story. i can consume alcohol like it’s water & i tend to get naked at any given chance. so yeah -- this is my official apology that you landed with me.  & if you aren’t looking for a date i’m told i’m a perfect wing man.

I get naked a lot, too. We’re a match made in heaven.

[glamchalamet]

I can't say that I have done anything like this before. Usually, a relationship or a friendship just happens, but I am up for giving this a go. I'm Jerome. I'm in my late 50s but I am still that blonde haired, blue eyed guy that some people remember me for back in the 90s. Lets give this a go.

Sometimes you’ve gotta give it a little push. You not going gray yet? Even, you know, down there?

[glamchalamet]

I haven't done this for a while. I'm Mazz, I'm 46 and if I am honest, I feel like I am younger than that. I have four children who mean so much to me. I work in theatre with some music and TV thrown in too. Who knows where this will go. Lets see how we get on.

Age is just a number. I’d still fuck you.