#speedrunning

[prokopetz]

Wrong: Ada Lovelace invented computer science and immediately tried to use it to cheat at gambling because she was Lord Byron's daughter.

Right: Ada Lovelace invented computer science and immediately tried to use it to cheat at gambling because that was the closest you could get in 1850 to being a Super Mario 64 speedrunner.

[simplysnaps]

call me a Gamecube controller because I wanna be passed around a room of speedrunners practicing on me until my stick breaks. they don't care if it takes all night, they're going to grind until they finish.

[unadulteratedpiratepizza]

I like to come up with horrible video game mechanic ideas designed to piss off certain subsections of gamers without effecting the gameplay experience of the average player.

For example, what if I made a completely normal action adventure game, but the final boss is inaccessible by any means until the in-game time reaches 3 hours? If the game had an average play time of 10 hours, this would not effect the average gamer. It would, however, piss off speedrunners. If I wanted to rub salt into the wounds, I could make that three hour limit have a variable of up to five minutes late or early. I think the runners would come after me with pitchforks

[fleshmonger]

17.58 seconds, my first sub 20 run

[phoenixcatch7]

There needs to be more post 'link speedruns killing ganon as soon as he wakes up any% nmg' fics. Because on top of the inherent hilarity of any speedrun fic AND the inherent angst of the noble and measured knight link reduced to a bare chested gremlin with barely his name to his name and no knowledge of how thin the ice of amnesia lies over the arctic waters of... Everything?

It's also just an OUTRIGHT INSULT to all the champions and rhoam especially, the way link woke up weak and feeble and with absolutely no resources and then proceeded to carve a bloody unrelenting path through every single one of the monsters that killed them at the height of their power AND THEN massacred ganon without any help from the divine beasts they'd poured decades of their resources and time into recovering just for the chance to stand against ganon. And link didn't even need them. Not even a little bit. The first time he touched the ground of hyrule proper was to mount a wild horse to chase down the holy light zelda gifted him from on high to skewer the great calamity like a pin cushion.

Literally what was the point of all that work. All that effort and money and time meant to try and play support for the hero and not only does he turn out to not need it, but he also cleans up every single mess you all left and failed at. Your one job, your 100 year struggle and grief, and he mops it up himself as an aside to his REAL job of single handedly murking the legendary evil.

24 hours ago zelda was counting down the minutes until her knight woke up and they could maybe make another stab at ganon once he'd recuperated and recovered himself enough to draw the master sword again. To build up to a grand finale by accumulating favour and working his way through the divine beasts so they can finally fulfill their purpose and free the trapped spirits. And now she's blinking in the sunlight as the abruptly freed ghosts stand in shock over the castle and link is within touching distance eating a handful of apple.

He's not even DRESSED.

[charlesoberonn]

Speedrunning Explanation Video: In this glitch we jump on the bottom half of the celery enemy and then spin. We call this trick the Bottom-Half Celery Jump Spin.

Speedrunning Explanation Video: In this glitch we slide under the table in the garden and into a buggy loading zone. We call this trick the Hawaiian Pepperslide, after speedrunner PepperInMyButt33 who discovered the trick while on vacation in Hawaii.

[ashes2caches]

spending the night with a tgirl but she’s also a speedrunner so she brings me to orgasm in under two minutes to a frankly raucous twitch chat.