Spendywatch 2018 has yielded yet another film which I must absolutely see, and which is so obscure that I can’t successfully dredge it up from the depths of the internet:
Deadly Deceit/The Happy Couple is a Canadian film featuring my eternal fave and local cryptid, Chris Owens. The tagline on imdb reads as follows:
“A terrifying series of events result when a handsome stranger bets $10000 he can seduce another man's wife within 7 days.”
If you’re like me, you might be scandalized to learn that Chris Owens does NOT, in fact, portray the handsome stranger in this scenario. Shocking, given the fact that he’s clearly depicted sucking face with the leading lady at the top of the promo poster. Rather, it’s supposed to be that smarmy young shit sitting across from him. I’ve found a slightly clearer image for those who aren’t satisfied with the full glorious 20 pixels of poster I scavenged off imdb.
So yes. That little shit on the left is supposed to seduce a human woman (who is married to a juicy weasel boy) within a week’s time. I’d like to slap that cigar right out of his mealy mouth. But who caaaares about him when apparently Chris Owens’ overly-trusting husband/cuckoldee may be spotted lounging resplendently in a muscle shirt as seen below:
Now that is all I could find for a good half hour of elbows-deep digging. I shit you not, this film is impossible to locate in any form. But after some creative googling and translating and excavating, I’ve dredged up the trailer, which of course I can’t embed: https://vimeo.com/272514794
Other apocrypha include a note, translated from Slovak, from the site where I found these images (and likely a host of spyware and other sundries), which have informed me that this plotline was inspired by the Decameron, which is interesting, but would be more interesting if I could actually SEE IT:
“The story of a modern lover's triangle has been inspired by Boccacci's Dekameron and proves the only - human nature does not change. Dwayne is so convinced of his wife Dianne's belief that he is building with Graham for ten thousand dollars that the woman will remain faithful to her despite any attempt to drive her. Graham puts all the strength to win. Dianne, who does not know her husband has been honored with her, feels something is going on, and wants to come to the root. She works in the crisis center, and soon she finds herself in the situation of people calling her for advice ... It is clear that no one gets out of this situation without bruising. The result is paranoid, lies and strands that will change the lives of all three, and the conviction that love will always win, is a terrible hope. Sometimes it is better to try not to try some things, because one destroys not only himself,(official distributor's text)”
ooookay. Fuck it, enjoy a poorly-timed screenshot from some Russian forum while you’re at it:
*wheezing, hands on knees, from exertion* So... yeah. That’s about the sum of what I’ve found. I feel like a medievalist trying to piece together lost fragments of some forgotten work known only through allusions in other texts. Or a bigfoot hunter I guess, if we’re going to keep carrying this metaphor.