#spichat

[ritavonbees]

I have decided that the theme for my birthday party is going to be They Fight Crime. I don't think I could convince Al to join me in a Robospy and Alan the Superintelligent Marmot costume, though.

[atardisfullofbras]

From Rusher with an Allen Key

Steffan Alun invented democracy and therefore only has himself to blame. 

PROLOGUE

One day there was a spy called Jennifer and she was the best spy in all of her local area which was Nicetown. Nicetown was in Lovelyville.  Lovelyville was in Liverpool. 

It was time for the daily spying, which Jennifer decided to do in the Former Soviet Union of Rusher. There were many enemies of the Queen of Ingland there. Also, there were many enemies of democracy. 

Jennifer soon put paid to that with a machine called bullets.

Suddenly there was a moral dilemma. Should Jennifer do this or that? Jennifer had a bit of a think, and decided to do that.

Back home, Boo Gladly the spy boss gave Jennifer a badge to commemorate saving the day from the Rushans.

EPILOGUE

Once upon a time there was a Sheila Sheila, that was her name.

Well, that was the name on her birthday cake. She was actually called Shirley and she was 89 today. Happy birthday Shirley!

There were four things Sheila Sheila could do well. One! Hash tag spying. Two! Being a midshipman. Two! More spying. Four! Allen key.

wait,,,,, what's a midshipman? I hear you ask!

Well, apparently it's a Boat thing.

And that was her best thing. From the midship, she could do all the other things so long as she had her Allen key. Which she always did because she had a clever piercing so she could attach it to herself when she wasn't using it. But today, she was very much using it.

There was lots to be done. A whole supergadget had to be assembled, because the Gloom Lord was coming to invade the United Monarchy of Great Britton and Ireland.

The first thing she did was to charge her allen key so that it was also magnetic and she pointed it at the northern lights. Which was very a long way far away from the mid boat thing. But her allen key was mighty so it was fine. After a few hours of pointing, she had attracted 14 polar bears, some glacier mints and a pingu and she was ready to start on the super gadget. If only she could find those damned instructions...

Be quick Shirley!  the gloom nearens.

If only smartphones had been invented in 1983 when our story is set. But no, no online instructions for Shirley Sheila Shirley. She had to guess how everything fit together. Fortunately - thank suns - she guessed just right.

After all the hours of doing and making, she finally held her gadget aloft. She was wearing an overall that she had got changed into earlier to carry out this and now looked like that girl from Flashdance. And she *did* have a feeling. And her feeling was one of fear of the Gloom Lord. He would be here any minute now, but without all the mobiles and whatnot, he couldn't phone ahead, even though he was evil and therefore probably had some kind of tablet/smartwatch thing that he could have used except she didn't have one because she wasn't evil.

The Gloom Lord arrived. Gadget was used and Gloom Lord was in megaprison. Shirley Sheila Sheila Shirley was given a badge for building such a clever supergadget and also a badge for looking like that girl from Flashdance. That one was just a bit of fun.

(NB -  this was a sinister collboration with Steffan.  In case you were wondering the bits that are mine can be easily identified by being slightly better than the other bits.)

[ritavonbees]

started a rocketship story. keep having to leave [fill this in after rereading all the other rocketship stories] in places. there isn't a masterlist, is there? how many people have written in that zone so far?

[teatime-brutality-deactivated20]

Two things have happened here. Firstly I’ve misremembered WONKY CHRISTMAS as a two-parter (why did I do that?) and secondly…yeah! I’ve left off DEAD FRED HEADACHE. Which is terrible - Steff and I raved about that one in our secret telephone SpiChats.  

[ritavonbees]

Hee, good, I'm proud of it. Love a good silly multi-layer disguise gag. Although I forgot to do anything with the Extremely Clandestine Rats of the Extremely Clandestine Broom Cupboard, but I'm sure there will be room for celebrity impersonator rats in future stories.

[ritavonbees]

Oh, spybadgers! here's the link to the .psd file for that back cover. Don't delete stuff, just paste everything in new layers and switch the layers in/visible as we work out what should stay in (you will notice I put in two different badgers, one's just hiding).

Somebody should really actually write a blurb...

[ritavonbees]

okay, as a non-brit who is going through her spies stories for errors, I would like some clarification on the whole MI9/MI6 thing, I did not ask earlier because I felt silly, but what is up with that?

(i would also like to take this opportunity to remind people who do not find absurdist vignettes about spies and talking animals and shakespeare and whatnot amusing that i most consistently tag all related posts "spies with badgers" because it entertains me to do so, if you would like to tumblr saviour that amazingness)