Hm, depending on the server how active you both are, etc. It might be better to block and/or talk to the team running the servers. But be aware too people may pick "sides". Or you could feel uncomfortable with the possible interaction.
Its why the next suggest I think is slightly better. Find servers (new ones) for you to be in that they aren't in. Look for communities more based around your interests. (Examples "spider keeping"<- I don't know if this is a server but you can look for spaces that might be more positive. Like a reptile group/server. ) Find a place they aren't in, and if you like the server you'll naturally be more likely to post thus you'll start to feel like you belong, and you'll become more active. Bright side to this is you'll have a space you'll feel more welcome in & depending on how active you are, it might give the mutual servers a small break. Which means less likely drama will be engaged.
Edit: you can look for "herping" servers as well. (if they are a thing) Herping according to google: "is the act of searching for amphibians or reptiles. The term, often used by professional and amateur herpetologists. " <- while it doesn't mention spiders, I think a communities of folks who like amphibians, and reptiles might be more accepting of spider keepers. ^-^ I learnt about "herping" from snake discovery so it should be something you can search for. If I can think of other search terms I'll edit.