#spirituallynerdy

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Doing some recording. Dropping some videos tomorrow so stay tuned. This is just documenting the cuteness.

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Thank goodness for the crappy Activist work I’ve done

I worked for about three years as an organizer for social justice and political campaigns. This involved hours and hours and hours of talking to people face to face. 

I am a nervous talker and talk a lot, but was never that great at public speaking. I was terrified of it actually. This was mostly due to the fact that I had a very problematic stutter up until about the end of high school. 

I’m attending Full Sail University for a BA in Game Design. My final assignment for our Design Tools class is a Pecha Kucha presentation. A presentation with just 20 slides and each slide has 20 seconds. It’s a lot of memorizing facts to pull them out on the fly. It’s also maintaining a structure but being very personal and spontaneous. 

That’s literally what the last three years has been. Memorizing speeches for rallies, scripts to talk about issues effectively door to door or on the streets, and even the occasional stand up comedy routine for fundraisers. I’ve had to lead people through complex emotions in a conversation that usually only lasts about five minutes before people close the door or head to the car. In that time I’ve not only raised hundreds of dollars, but changed many people’s minds on big political and social justice issues just by essentially giving a short presentation.

Giving back can feel thankless and even scary but if you’re paying attention you’ll notice helping others can be such a benefit in your own life.

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Digital Sculpting and overcoming fear

So I’m currently five months into the Game Design program at Full Sail Online. This month I’m learning game design tools. This week I’m creating a simple scene using a 3d modeling software made by Autodesk called Maya 2015. It’s how a lot of the 3d games you see are made. It’s a way to sculpt 3d objects to put into a game. The project is basically to make a tree, a picnic table, fence, and of course a platform for them all to be on. 

At Full Sail we have access to a software tutorial website known as Lynda.com (which is amazing and will teach all the professional level software. For example Adobe Photoshop is on there and even Pro Tools for music making) and I’m in the middle of the tutorial on the basics of Maya. It’s so funny how our brains adapt so quickly to learning. I personally love that I can log on to the internet, watch a video, and work hands on with this software. I’m like three chapters in and am already so far from where I was only a few days ago. 

I still work full time and that means a lot of time is taken away from doing research. When I first saw the assignment I was so overcome with dread. I couldn’t shake it. I looked at the expectations of the project and thought: “Could I really do this?” “Am I really cut out to be one of the people who actually makes these realistic looking games?” If it weren’t for my friends I don’t know how that first day would have went, but with kind encouragement I started devouring tutorial videos and reading articles and the Maya help website. 

Now I know how to sculpt objects. I can manipulate them and reshape them how I see fit or need to. I know different ways of using the interface to do any one thing so I can have an intuitive way of working. I can organize projects, scenes, and hierarchies. I can say for sure that I know how to put a primitive looking tree together and while I don’t know how to texture it, render it, or make it to scale, I know for a fact that I am doing things that frightened me on Monday. 

Our brains are amazing. We only need to process information a few times and soon enough it gives us new abilities like we’ve been doing them for years and craves more information. If we believe in ourselves, by which I mean believing in  our brain, we truly can make the impossible possible. In fact your brain is actively working on doing just that. You just need to give it a good challenge. I can’t wait to show you the finished product. 

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April showers...

Howdy everyone!

Sorry it’s been a while. Things have been getting really busy. On the personal side I’ve started working the cashier station at work, which is ..... special. 

The more positive reason for the radio silence is the sheer amount of information I’ve been absorbing about making games. It’s like sifting through an ocean sometimes, but I’ve learned to just take it one cup at a time. I mean at some point I’ll at least have a lake or maybe even a nice sea. 

Less poetically put, I’ve been taking some tutorials on how to make 2D games in Unity. I’m still not at a full game yet, but I’ve learned to move the camera and how to organize all my files in a Unity project and all the basics of how the interface works. Basically I’m still getting my sea legs. (Sorry I cannot explain all the water analogies.) It’s all just really exciting seeing that even though I’m making baby steps, they feel so immensely gratifying. It makes my dreams seem actually possible.

I also an amaaaazing documentary last night called “Game Loading: Rise of the Indies.” It followed several indie game developers and their struggles in making games without million dollar budgets or hundred people teams. It also show cased specifically developers who were making games that push the bounds of gaming and force us to ask ourselves: What is a game really? And how can we as game makers create something new and unique and exciting?  It was so full of emotion and so inspirational. I think it also just really gets across how much potential gaming has and exposes a lot of games that you might not have heard of but will immediately love. (Like the Stanley Parable. Easily my new favorite game concept. There is no game like it. The style “Stranger Than Fiction”, and the gameplay is hard to describe but fantastic!! Try the free demo or just buy the whole game on Steam. The demo is hilarious and unlike/like? everything you’ve ever played.)

The documentary was also very diverse and addressed sexism in gaming. It had women game makers and a transgender game maker sharing their experience. I think that’s a very big deal and something people need to see. Sexism is real. I think if we as gamers want gaming to have a reputation for being artistic, beautiful and life changing, we have to combat the actions of those who tarnish that reputation. This film brought that to the conversation as well as really focusing on the games themselves and how transformative they can be for people. These two themes really drove home that equality and more diverse representation in gaming is where our future lies.

So yes, I’m overwhelmingly inspired and am trying to keep hacking away until I finally make a game. I want to change the world in a way that will help people realize all they can do and all they can be happy about. I know I can get there!! *Naruto Voice* Believe it!!

P.S. I have another podcast recorded. Sorry I’m so lazy with editing! It will be up soon I promise!

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This week I talk a little about who I'm reaching out to, say goodbye to Leonard Nimoy, start my case on why you need to watch Avatar the Last Airbender, and tell you what other nerdy things I'm obsessed with right now.

Oh and I started a Soundcloud, so if you’re into that follow me :)

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Failure Doesn't Mean Loss

Failure isn't a bad thing. In fact, to complete any major project you will have to fail several times. No matter what your goal is, you will absolutely have to fail a million times to get to it. Ask any game developer, CEO, artist or athlete and they'll tell you the same. All your heroes failed a million times and a million more.

Think about life like a video game. Sometimes you have to jump a gap a million times or be stuck in a dungeon for days without achieving the goal. We scream and curse and sigh and break controllers, but gamers still don't stop playing. In fact, we conquer every challenge put in front of us and ask for more.

Do the same with your work and passions and your disciplines. Dive into them and fail a bunch. Conquer those problems and learn from what didn't work with the same passion that you had when you were a kid playing Super Mario. Take all the fear away from failure and soon enough you'll notice you have been achieving and succeeding all along.

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Visit Original Link

This is my first podcast! Be gentle. 

It's pretty short and to the point. It's an intro of what i hope to accomplish with this blog and some of my personal philosophy. I'll be recording more tonight so expect another soon!!

[spirituallynerdy-blog]

Morning Meditation: Life is the toughest/best video game

So my walk to work today was filled with thoughts of accomplishment, but also memories of how difficult this month was.

I moved into the city of Portland, which is really really awesome, but it was definitely a pricey move. Not to mention the move out and clean up itself took a literal 25 hours straight to complete. By the end of it me and my roommate looked like Frodo and Sam right before the eagles swoop in.

That was just how the month started. There have been many other big random troubles brought on in these last few weeks. Still, as I walk to work I can't help but smile. It's like happiness is beaming out of me. We did it. It's taken us a year and for a while it was really unclear how we were going to make it but we just took it day by day.

Now I'm in Game Design school in Portland Oregon, and few minute walks away from vegan everything and my job. The city is beautiful and my new neighborhood is such a pleasure to explore. Just the energy and friendliness of all the people in the neighborhood, plus there's murals everywhere! I mean all this tangible stuff to say: I'm happy and things that I only dreamed of before are coming true.

Life is tough and has a terrible sense of humor sometimes. Still, it's the greatest game ever made. Video games challenge us and no matter how hard they get we never give up. We keep playing till it's done. Life is the same way. If we just keep playing  (waking up in the morning and trying out best) we will eventually get the rewards we want or to something new we didn't even see coming. Then, it's off to the next challenge.

That's what excites me that I'll leave yall with. Let's take a second to imagine  all the wonderful things that are coming our way. Imagine all the things you hope are coming your way. Now realize that they are. Maybe not how you imagined them, but never the less, if you keep playing you will see that dreams become real.