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💍, ➳, ☠, ☯, ▼, ❤ // "It's about the baby. It's yours." // "Are you sure this is legal?" // "Maybe I was wrong. I don't need you in my life." // "You're jealous, aren't you?" // "Are we really just friends, then?"

gdievelyn (84 years later)

💍: our muse’s wedding day. (kill me pls)

By now everything involving the whole “wedding night” craziness seemed to have calmed down now that the reception part had started. The image of Evelyn walking down the isle was still ingrained in his mind and the stupid looking grin on his face hadn’t budged an inch yet. Honestly, go back to when they were twenty-three and of all the things he could’ve possibly listed that would happen between, this would have been the last one on the list. Even when he realized when he felt about her, if he’d been told he was going to be watching her walking down the isle in a white dress (he smirked to himself when he thought about how that dress should not be pure white), or that he’d be holding her hand in his while slipping a ring onto her finger, or that he’d feel happiness flood every inch of her body hearing her “I do” echo his… He wouldn’t have believed it.

Now though their bodies were close together, swaying and rocking across the floor to a soft song that Keegan had probably picked out. His hands were joined with hers and he could feel the coolness of her ring against his skin, a feeling that made his heart grow two sizes and brought a smile to his face each time because of what it meant. They were together, married, the goddamn Castillos– and fuck if that didn’t feel amazing. He knew that he wouldn’t have needed a marriage to make this moment feel more intimate though, his head lowered and his face half hidden by her hair where his lips were pressed softly against her head. She herself had her head resting against his shoulder, where she could probably feel the beat of his heart all because of her. Everything else in the room melted away as they went through their first dance and it was just them there and Griffin wouldn’t have minded if it stayed like this for a while. Even when he moved his head back up to look down at the blonde he still didn’t notice anyone anyone but her, his eyes filled with all the tender affection he had for her.

“You look amazing, you know.” he said quietly as if it were a conversation to be had just between the two of them, “happy, and just– beautiful… so you’re aware.” His smile was completely ridiculous and lopsided, and anyone could tell how happy she made him.

“Mhm,” she said into his chest. But then she tilted her head up, her chin now resting on his chest as she looked at him through her eyelashes with those damn blue eyes of hers and she had an easy, almost lazy, smile on her face– reflecting all the same feelings he was. “You’ve told me that what?” She narrowed her eyes at him jokingly, speaking in the same lowered tone he had because it was just the two of them for her too. “I think it’s nine times now, you’ve made me aware already, Griff.”

Griffin shushed her, “I’m trying to have some kind of moment here, do what husbands are supposed to do and all that shit.” He squeezed her hands as he continued to lead them around the floor, completely oblivious to anyone’s eyes but hers. It felt…right, using the word husband on Evelyn, acknowledging that’s what he was to her. Unbelievably right actually. He picked up a little now that he was able to use that word properly, he could see the look in her eyes when he used it too.

“And what else are you supposed to do? As my husband and all?” She said slyly, hugging herself into Griffin’s body even more, the fact that the song had changed twice now was lost on them.

Griffin just gave her the usual smirk as he bowed his head down so he could meet his wife’s (he still had to to pause and go ‘holy fuck, Evelyn is my wife now) lips with his own, and soft yet passionate kiss, pulling on her lower lip slightly. “Things like that.” He said with the smile evident in his voice again before he rested his head on hers again, effectively burying his face in her hair leaving his lips next to her ear. “Things like wonder how much time I could spend under your dress without it being obvious I wasn’t going for that garter belt of yours.”

She swatted him for that comment, though when he pulled away from her ear he saw her laughing. He ended up doing the same and they were apparently so caught up in their own company that Griffin’s best man had to wave a hand between them to get their attention so he could steal Evelyn away for a second.

“Griff,” Noah started once he finally got their attention, “you guys are almost on your third song now, I think it’s about time the rest of us get our turns with you guys.” His friend joked although he held his hand out to Evelyn, who was exchanging a quizzical look with Griffin because neither of them had realized the fact the song had changed and they were now more upbeat.

Griffin took a moment to watch her walk away with Noah, barely having any time to send her a wink and a soft smile when she looked back at him before his sister pulled him away.

➳: your muse says their first “i love you” to my muse (flashback AU w h y, this one fucks me up)

Griffin had known that his best friend was planning on leaving for a while now, and he’d had time to prep for the fact that she was but he was still no where near ready for actually seeing her go. He’d known it wasn’t permanent thing, she wouldn’t leaving like other people in his life had. He could still contact her and talk to her unlike his mom, she would still be walking around enjoying her life unlike his dad. She still wouldn’t be there though, and not having his best friend one door over was going to be a huge change.

Then there was the issue of his feelings, which he had been slowly coming to realize weren’t platonic in the slightest. He didn’t say a word about it to Evelyn, there was no way he was going to let it ruin their friendship which he inevitably knew it would– two teenagers who’ve been life long best friends made it a further distance than two teenagers who got involved and he knew that. He was okay with that, as long as he got to have her at all.

Today though, today was the day she’d decided she was leaving Southport and spending the whole day together was something that seemed like it was needed– despite Griffin having to ditch the girl who he was supposed to be taking to the senior prom. And the day actually hadn’t been so bad considering he’d expected it be a constant heavy blanket considering she was leaving at the end of the day. Fortunately, it was just good– like it always was for them. They never really ran out of things to talk about and when there were pauses things were never awkward.

Even at the end of the day he could remember that they were so busy talking that the didn’t even notice the first couple of rain drops that fell. Only when Griffin swung around the trunk of a tree and things started hitting hard did he notice, letting out a few profanities as he quickly became soaked. He turned around to face Evelyn right away with a smile on his face and was met with her slightly shocked expression and slack jaw. He was about to suggest them making a run for it to go get cleaned up but the sight that came next made the air catch in his throat.

Her lips stretched to a grin, the blonde strands were sticking to her face and her neck, and there was a sheen on her skin. His thoughts went blank and a stupid, lopsided grin fell onto his face as they stood there, still slightly stunned by the sudden downpour, and like hell he could take his eyes off of her. But then she threw her head back and gave a wholehearted laugh at the situation and met his eyes again as she was still laughing.

His thoughts were far from blank now because there was one thought loud and bright in his head: holy fucking shit, I’m in love with her. He knew he had strong, strong feelings for her but he’d never come to terms how serious his feelings were until he was forced to just now. He could see her look of confusion when his smile fell and any laughter in his belly dissipated.

“Don’t go.” He blurted out, not knowing what was about to come out of his mouth. “Stay until the end of summer and you can come to Florida with me.” He was walking closer to her, his voice raised over the roar of the rain. “You told me– you said you didn’t know where you were going so just come with me… I found an apartment cheaper than the dorms, you could stay there. Just… Ev, I love you– I love you,” he said more seriously so that she’d understand. “Don’t go yet, I can’t lose my best friend.”

☠: your muse comes back to my muse’s doorstep 5 years after their death was announced. (this one turned out cheesy af so i could deal with the pain, don’t judge me)

5 years, 60 months, 260 weeks– not that Griffin was counting. That was how much time had past since Evelyn died. It had never really gotten easier, he’d never found a way to numb the feelings that come with having lost her, to ease the weight that settled itself into his chest. Losing her was different than the lost he’d experienced before. His mom, Brock, close friends a couple of times. Sure it was just as devastating as when he’d lost his mom and Brock but with them, they were never quite as much of a permanent fixture or had a big of a role in Griffin’s life like she did. His best friend was what was lost here– the person who he’d let in completely without any of his façades and other bullshit like he threw up with other people, the one person who knew him the most honestly; his person. The person who he was in love with on top of all of that. The one person who he’d felt it with to a point where it completely rocked him and he couldn’t even deny and pretend he didn’t have those feelings. The feelings he hadn’t told about this time five years ago, that she never got to hear and he never got to find out if there was any possibility of her being able to feel the same for him. The feelings he told her about every time he talked to her now.

It was the anniversary of Evelyn’s death, five years now, and for the most part everyone seems to have moved on and on most days Griffin managed to act like he had too just so he could avoid the looks they gave him and the questions they pelted at him. The most common things after she died were always ‘it will get better’, ‘are you okay?’, ‘things will turn around’, and whenever he heard any of those things now he had to grit his teeth because the those words grouped together turned into one of the things he hated most. Not to mention the ‘you’ll move on’ and ‘you’ll find someone new’ compilations because sure, it was easy for them when they weren’t the one in love her. That’s why he found himself sitting here, his head against the door of her childhood home.

“So, the five year marker, huh?” He said out loud. It was just as bad as the previous three years– the first year was easy. It was easier with how busy everything was and with people always asking him how he was doing and if he was okay, all the the ‘I’m fine’s that he ground out way too mechanically were slightly easier to believe than they were after things died down and people stop asking. Without any of that he was actually allowed to feel, and allowed to process that Evelyn was gone, dead. He wasn’t going to see her again, he wasn’t going to talk to her again, he wasn’t going to touch her again… it was just nothing with her any more and it hadn’t been for five years and he had no idea if it was ever going to get easier.

“It’s been five fucking years since I’ve seen you, and shit, I’m still so pissed off at you.” He let out a completely humourless laugh as he pulled out the bottle of whiskey with two shot glasses– flowers didn’t seem right for her. “I’m going to kill you when I see you again eventually because you left. That’s exactly what you did. Sometimes I forget your voice… What kind of best friend does that? I shouldn’t have to call your answering machine. And I shouldn’t have to listen to the last voice mail you left me, bitching and all, every few months to remember what you sound like when I was– am, so god damn in love with you.”

“And your shit’s still all over my house– that shower-gel-whatever-its-called that you left for when you would just crash there is still in my shower because it smells like you…” He shook his head and poured the two shots. “You’ve still got a huge mess there and you’re not even around,” he started with an uneasy laugh but ended up wincing when he realized his own words.

“Fuck, Ev… I just miss you so fucking much, so fucking much…” He pursed his lips, his eyes shinning with yet unshed tears as he held up the shot, “Love you, Ev.”

☯: our muses share a new years’ kiss. (AU in which they kissed as teenagers and griffin was jealous pls hold me)

This party was just like every single other one in this high school career, not a surprise to him in the slightest. He’d come with Evelyn but had long since lost her by the fact they were both dragged away by other people. He’d see her occasionally as he made his rounds rotating between sending her a giant smile and ridiculous faces, that more enthralling than at least three-quarters of the conversations held with his friends from the teams. He disliked a lot of them, but he had to suck it up and play nice considering he had a leadership role on most of the teams. Though every time they would start talking about the girl of the night they thought they were going to “bag ‘n’ bounce” with, only after having a rousing conversation of how they ranked on a numerical value, Griffin would make himself sparse quickly. Griffin refused to be part of conversations like that, not to say he didn’t take part in his fair share of one time things, but dehumanizing and reducing them to that level was something that made him want to take a knee to their groin.

Griffin went on with his night though, avoiding his jock friends in favour for talking to those he never got the chance to in school despite the fact these were the people he preferred. By the time it was getting close to midnight the buzzed feeling had already started to set in, though it wasn’t enough to be interested in the girl who seemed to be all over him waiting for midnight to hit. He didn’t know why either, because usually he would’ve been, but tonight he couldn’t seem to get into that head space. So as she talked about History class, his attention was easily drawn away as he looked around the room– one of the first things he saw being Evelyn, who sat on the couch with the same football douche bag he was talking to earlier.

He was leaned in close to her and they were talking in low voices, and his hand was on her thigh like it was its place. Griffin could only think about how that wasn’t his hand’s place but whose was it then? Asking himself that question something stirred inside of Griffin, and he didn’t even think that it could be jealousy because, they were just friends. Just best friends, that was the answer anyone got when they were asked questions about the non-existent relationship everyone saw for some reason. He ignored the feeling with all his might, which wasn’t hard since he did it so much without realizing it.

Though when Griffin saw him get up to presumably go get more drinks, he told himself he wasn’t going to go over there and sit in his previous spot. But he couldn’t help it and he couldn’t decide whether he wanted to blame it on his drunkenness or the fact his legs refused to stay put. He didn’t even excuse himself from the other girl, which he’d feel bad about later. For now took his stop standing next to her as she stood from the couch to meet him with a smile. It was clear that she was just as drunk as he was which explained her being so friendly with on the his idiot team mates as she’d expressed before.

He was doing a fine job pretending he was over there because he wanted to protect her from the asshole because he knew how they got sometimes. Then he came back over and the asshole crowded her a little too close for his liking, and Griffin automatically stepped closer to Evelyn, his body tensing and all of his words coming out clipped for the small conversation they had before it was a minute away from New Years. Griffin was basically shooting daggers through his eyes at his team mate, communicating that if he kissed Evelyn he’d be sorry– which perplexed him.

Though eventually the asshole was grabbing for Evelyn’s arm fifteen seconds before midnight Griffin felt something burn in his stomach at the idea of him getting to kiss Evelyn (it was not jealous, no way) and he reacted without thinking. He leant forward and cradled her face between his hands before capturing her lips with his own, with ten seconds left till when it would even be considered normal to kiss people you usually shouldn’t. It wasn’t even a chaste kiss either, it was bruising and hungry and not before long their tongues were battling for dominance.

It was one that went on past the usually allotted time for just a ‘new years kiss’ and he was only pulled out of the moment by the whoops and hollers coming from around them. He practically wrenched himself away from the kiss as if he was shocked where he’d wound up. “Uh,” Griffin shut his eyes and shook his head as if he were trying to get rid of a thought, “happy new years, Ev.” He managed to get out awkwardly, clapping her on the shoulder because he had no clue what else to do, before turning around and getting lost in the crowds of people again.

❤: the morning after.

Griffin’s lids slowly fluttered open, the sun was filtering through his curtains and he felt the need to rub the grogginess from his eyes. The only problem was he couldn’t feel one of his arms and when he looked down it was trapped beneath a smaller girl’s body– come to think of it her whole body was pressed into her and his arm was slung over her wait. Evelyn, that’s who it was of course, and his heart gave a little flutter. He could’ve swore that they hadn’t fallen asleep like this, so sometime during the night one had subconsciously reached for the other and their bodies just reacted. To be frank, he wasn’t a cuddling type of person but with Evelyn he’d come to find quickly he didn’t feel so adverse to it.

Instead his arm just instinctively wrapped tighter around her waist, liking the feeling of her curled into his side almost as if he could protect her easily from here. He couldn’t help but take a second to look at her. The blonde hair that was even more mused than it had been last night, the marks scattering her pale skin that he’d be able to match with his mouth… But then there was the way she looked peaceful in sleep, almost angelic thanks to the blonde hair fanned out around her. Her features were relaxed, and her lips were curled slightly, and her eyelashes brushed against her cheeks as she stirred slightly. She was just here in his arms. When it came to her arms he ran his thumb over a dark love bite bite, his mark, on her shoulder, then manoeuvred so he could dust kisses up her arm lightly.

He could feel her start to stir as his lips worked their way along her collar bone, to the hollow of her throat which he dipped his tongue into. She let out a tired groan as she stretched her muscles, it wasn’t like he hadn’t seen her mannerisms while waking up before, they’d both wound up falling asleep at each other’s places so much over the years waking up around her, sometimes in a bed with her, was nothing new. Only it was new because never had they had circumstances where they would wake up to each other after falling asleep next to each other boneless and blissed out. Not just that, but he’d never held these feelings for her then either, which is why he felt the need to take an extra breath in when she opened her eyes and he was met with their blue and her sleepy smile.

“Morning,” he said in a voice still gravelly and deep from sleep, his fingers going back to lazily trailing up and down her arm. “Want some breakfast?” He asked, his body half turned already to get of the bed, though tearing his gaze away from her was a feat slightly more challenging.

“It’s about the baby. It’s yours.”

Griffin nearly dropped his glass in the process of choking on his water when he heard those words. He kept his back to her because he was pretty much frozen in place. He’d heard her talking about the logistics of what led her to think she might be pregnant but he never even fucking knew that there was actually a confirmed baby to be talked about since she never brought it up again. Though he turned around to face her hesitantly though there was a ghost of a smile on his face, his eyes immediately making contact with her stomach. “Holy fuck…” he let out in a strangled breath, crouching down in front of her she stood as one hand laid over her stomach. “My kid…?” He breathed out, his smile growing wider. “Shit, our kid actually,” he wouldn’t admit how that gave him a small amount of joy more than it should. “Well… depending on what you decide to do I mean– And I’ll stand by you no matter what but just know I’d be there for the kid, I wouldn’t ditch you if you do decide to keep it because fuck, I’d love my own kid– our own kid,” there was that extra thump in his heart again, “ours. So… we’ll figure this out…” He finished his babbling, a mixture of nerves and quick-excitement, by still staring at her still flat stomach. “Our kid…” He repeated, shaking his head in bewilderment and with a new light in his eyes when he smiled up at her.

“Are you sure this is legal?”

Griffin heaved a sigh and looked up at her where she was sitting on the counter, right above the cabinet he was look through for materials. He stopped looking when she asked the question though, he had a sheepish look on his face though he was trying to hide it. “I don’t know,” he shrugged his shoulder as a devious grin graced his lips, “but it will be fun, so I swear to god if you tell me you’re chickening out now because of a few cops, I’m going to kill you, Lowell.”

“Maybe I was wrong. I don’t need you in my life."

Griffin stopped dead in his tracks when he’d heard those words. They’d had arguments before sure, but never anything that bad for her to say something that bad. “Evelyn…” the words came out shaky and clearly hurt. “Dont– don’t say shit like that… please.” He shook his head, eyes pleading as much as he’d just said the word. “You’re not wrong, okay? I’m here for you… no matter what, I always will be… Plus, I need you in my life, Ev, I need you.”

"You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

When she asked the question Griffin turned around quickly, so she wouldn’t be able to see the look in his eyes. Pretending to be very intently focused on re-folding the clothes in his drawers as he slowly shrugged his shoulders and cleared his throat. “Why would I be jealous? I’m not jealous,” he clipped the words out, his movements sharp and too focused. “We’re just friends, it’s not like we’re exclusive or have something more going on… right?” He asked the question very cautiously, turning to face her because hell, he did want to be more than just friends.

“Are we really just friends, then?”

Griffin fidgeted with a loose thread on his shirt when she asked that question. It was probably one of the worst ones to ask him at this point— at least for her to be asking them. That’s because hell no, he didn’t want the answer to be yes, we’re just friends. He didn’t want to be just friends with her ever since the first time they slept together and whatever feelings he had for her blossomed into something they just weren’t supposed to be. They weren’t new feelings for him, he’d found that he’d had them for a long time they were just so much more repressed. “Isn’t that what we’ve always been…?” He said bitterly, before shaking his head. “I mean– can we be more than friends here?”

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