#spn summary

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

supernatural s5e4 "the end" but i've never watched any supernatural

HEY MAGGOTS FEELING ANY DEJA VU YET? I'M BACK ON MY "I HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS AND HAVE NO AUTHORITY TO SUMMARISE IT BUT HERE I AM" AGENDA. So my darling partner and husband @gay-hrithik-roshan has explained this episode to me while trying to give context for a million word incomplete fanfic, and I was That Kid in class and had a lot of questions. And here's what I've gathered:

There's an angel named Zacharia (NOT my sixth grade classmate) and he wants to convince Dean (NOT Destiel, turns out he has a name) to let Michael slide into him

Because this is what needs to happen so the angels and demons can end the world coz god said so (no this isn't Good Omens. I asked several times. This is apparently Bad Omens)

So he constructs an alternate reality to show Dean what will happen if he doesn't spread his legs for Michael, BUT also it doesn't matter because Dean is interwoven with Michael anyway since he was bred to be Michael

Chuck is God, or God possesses Chuck, and God is writing the story

But later God dies so did God want to kill himself? That's dark

Not!Sam (Wincest?) took Lucifer into his sweet sweet body

Lucifer is in Kansas, and this is God's Plan

Cas says "do you love me" and Dean says "only partly I only love my bed and my mama i'm sorry"

God's Plan (by God, not Drake) means Not!Cas is a hippie who has orgies with women but he's human but he's not a demon even though he's fallen and no longer is an angel but als--THE POINT IS CAS IS GAY AND WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR DEAN

Not!Dean sends a bunch of people to fight demons in a warehouse with Not!Cas to their death. Dean looks on.

Not!Dean is killed by Lucifer and so Lucifer thinks he won the Apocalypse because Not!Dean is Michael but Michael is dead and God said if Lucifer kills Michael then he wins but also he doesn't because Dean is still there oh wait no that's the fanfic apparently (Luke is yelling on call)

So the episode actually ends with Lucifer killing Not!Dean and Zacharia coming to get Dean back before he dies too (can he die? is this real? @gay-hrithik-roshan refuses to use his knowledge of quantum physics to answer my MANY questions)

Cas is the only person with free will so the supernatural writers couldn't make him straight even if they tried

Cas is jesus? Barn theory

Destiel

I hope you found this enlightening. I love you all, glad we all had a horrible time reading this.

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

Since [redacted] seems to have forgotten the character of Sam Winchester, I wanted to give everyone a brief reminder that this is Not My Sam Winchester. Not the one who always wanted Dean to fight to keep living, to keep loving, to keep embracing that he is worthy and valued and deserving of happiness and a fulfilled life. Not the one who got addicted to demon blood so he could save people possessed by demons by pulling the demon out of them without harming their bodies.  Not this Sam.  Sam Winchester is not a man who would be happy someone else died so he could live.

But since we are all talking about it, buddies - 

[insert banner art with WINC*ST shippers keep your hands off this post here]

Receipts after the cut.

(I also wanted to add that honestly this commentary is not surprising.  See this post.)

2x22 All Hell Breaks Loose (part 2)

SAM (Voice breaking) 

How long do you get?

DEAN 

One year. (SAM nods, tears in his eyes.) I got one year.

SAM 

You shouldn't've done that. How could you do that?

DEAN 

Don't get mad at me. Don't you do that. I had to. I had to look out for you. That's my job.

SAM 

And what do you think my job is?

DEAN 

What?

SAM 

You've saved my life over and over. I mean, you sacrifice everything for me. Don't you think I'd do the same for you? 

And I don't care what it takes, I'm gonna get you out of this. Guess I gotta save your ass for a change.

3x10 Dream a Little Dream of Me

05x22 Swan Song

DEAN

So then what am I supposed to do? SAM

You go find Lisa. You pray to god she's dumb enough to take you in, and you – you have barbecues and go to football games. You go live some normal, apple-pie life, Dean. Promise me. 

8x22 Clip Show

SAM

You heard Crowley. He's not gonna let one near us, and without a demon, all we can do is sit back and watch people we know, people we saved, die like Sarah.

DEAN

So what are you saying?

SAM

I'm saying... Maybe this isn't one we can win. Maybe we should just take the deal.

8x23 Sacrifice

9x07 Bad Boys

SAM You just got lucky?

DEAN nods.

SAM (continues) Kind of like you did with this place. I mean, here I was thinking this was the worst part of your life, and it turns out it was the best. Why'd you ever leave?

DEAN Never felt right.

SAM Really?

SAM Dean ... Thank you.

DEAN For what?

SAM For always being there, for – having my back. Look, I know it always hasn't been easy …

10x07 Girls Girls Girls

SAM

What you said earlier, back there, about being past saving -- were you really --

10x23 Brother’s Keeper

DEAN

And I was wrong. You were right, Sam. You knew that this world would be better without us in it.

SAM

No, no, no, wait a second. You're twisting my words here, Dean.

[Sam reaches into his jacket and holds some photos in his hand]

SAM

Take these. And one day, when you find your way back... Let these be your guide. And they can help you remember what it was to be good...what it was to love.

[Sam looks down and places the two pictures we saw in the opening on the floor. One of Mary Winchester and Dean as a young boy and another of Mary, Dean and Sam as an infant. Sam looks back up at Dean and Dean hesitates, looking conflicted. Death is standing behind Dean]

11x02 Form and Void

Dean deserves a life.”

11x05 Thin Lizzie

11x23 Alpha and Omega

SAM:

Dean, you know, you don't have to do this.

12x22 Who We Are

SAM

Promise.

13x23 Let the Good Times Roll

SAM

Kill me.

JACK

What? ‭

SAM

Kill me.‬‬‬‬

You can stop him, Jack. You can get your power back.

JACK

No, I-I c-can't. 

 ‭‬‬‬SAM

What?‬

JACK

I know you can.

14x01 Stranger in a Strange Land

SAM

Cas, I -- No, I-I-I don't blame you. I... Honestly, I-I wish I'd have thought of it first. If it meant finding Dean, I-I'd work with -- 

14x12 Prophet and Loss

SAM You have one card today! But we’ll find another tomorrow. But if you quit on us today, there will be no tomorrow! You tell me, uh, you don’t know what else to do. I don’t either, Dean. Not yet. But what you’re doing now, i-it’s – it’s wrong! It’s quitting! I mean, l-look what just happened. Donatello never quit fighting. So we could help him because he never gave up.

14x20 Moriah

SAM

I'm the one who brought him back, and I brought him back because he's family. And then he came back, and he burned his soul off to save us... you and me. And now what? You... Now you... you want my permission? You want me to say I'm cool with losing him and losing you all at once? 'Cause I can't do that. I won't say that, 'cause I...

15x20: Carry On (I am so mad I am so mad I am SO mad that I even had to go to this transcript but this is important to include)

SAM

Yeah.

Um... alright.

I'll call for help. I'll get the first-aid kit.

***I’m sure there are more examples than this, but none of this tracks with what was said in the article.  THIS is the show I watched.  

Honestly, the only Sam That Would Have Agreed With What Was Said is this one -

[boomerang109]

Supernatural Summary from someone here Only for the Destiel Memes

(I watched the first three episodes four years ago and haven’t seriously thought about spn until the destiel Putin chaos)

Cas was mentioned when they got a bunch of pieces of pie at some fair, they were sad but Dean said they had to move on

There were vampires in weird masks that were somehow killed by being beheaded (generally this is not how vampire lore works and I was Upset)

We never found out if the children in danger survived or reunited with their mother

They were attacked by some woman and saw flashbacks of her from a much earlier episode. Sam beheaded her before she could munch on Dean with her fangs

They fought the remaining vampires, but Dean fell onto something in the barn (jokingly a rusty nail, I think actually his or Sam’s machete/knife they’d thrown earlier)

Emotional goodbye scene includes forehead touch, Dean telling Sam he’s proud of him, and Dean making Sam say everything is okay and he can go

Dean is on a funeral pyre that burns unrealistically quickly

Sam is sad but accepts a job about something spooky, showing he’s going to continue their work

Dean is in heaven with Bobby (idk who that is but I think they’re a known character) who explains that Cas and someone made Heaven nice. This is the second and final mention of Cas

Dean seems sad until he gets in the Impala, he drives to “Carry On My Wayward Son” which is interspersed of clips of Sam and his son, each growing older

Eventually Sam is on his deathbed, his son tells him everything is okay and he can go

Dean gets out of the Impala on a bridge and then Sam is behind him and they hug

The episode, the season, and the series ends

[wafflewarrior111]

Supernatural: A Collection of Summaries

Scene: somewhere, night.

Some person: *is alone*

Monster: *rustling and camera motions of something supernatural watching them*

Some person: *??? but not too concerned*

Monster: *begins rustling around*

Some person: ????

Monster: *literally throwing furnature and stomping around*

Some person: ?????

Monster: You serious? Okay, you know what—

Blood splatter.

///

Scene: At dead person's relative's (DPR) front door.

Dean/Sam: *closing Impala's doors and walking up to the house*

Dean/Sam: Hello, we're FBI.

DPR: Why is the FBI here.

Dean/Sam: Because.

DPR: I already talked to cops.

Dean/Sam: Please?

DPR: Yeah, okay, come in.

///

Scene: in DPR's house.

DPR: I can't even believe it. It's so sad.

Dean: Was there anything weird?

DPR: Huh? What do you—

Sam: Enemies?

DPR: I don't—

Dean: Sulfer?

DPR: What—

Sam: Black eyes?

DPR: No? Lemme see your badges.

Dean/Sam: *gives badges*

DPR: Hmmmmm okay.

///

Scene: at mortuary.

Doctor: I've never seen anything like it.

Dean/Sam: Yeah?

Doctor: Yeah, it's kinda weird.

Dean/Sam: Someone killed them?

Doctor: It's just an animal attack.

Dean/Sam: Sure, sure.

///

Scene: motel room.

Sam: *typey typey at my computer*

Dean: *opens a beer* Anything?

Sam: Nope.

Dean: *calls Bobby* Hey.

Bobby: Already on it.

///

Scene: some diner.

Sam: Get this—

Dean: *chomping burger* Wha.

Sam: *shows computer* This is what we're looking for.

Dean: Nerd.

///

Scene: in the Impala.

Sam: Dean we should talk about you.

Dean: I'm fine.

Sam: Dean, you're literally dying, let me help you.

Dean: *plugs ears* No! No chick flicks moments!

///

Scene: in the Impala.

Dean: You've been lying to me, Sammy?

Sam: Sorry, but—

Dean: How can I even trust you?!

Sam: Sorry.

Dean: I cannot believe you!

Sam: Sorry.

///

Monster: *rustle rustle*

DPR: Crap.

Monster: Ahahaha you're dead.

Dean: *vroom vroom with rock music in the background* Not so fast.

Monster: Lol what are you going to—

Dean: *stabby stabby* Kill you, duh.

Monster: Oh yeah. *chokes Sam* Haha, but he's your weakness.

Dean: Sammy, no! *bang bang*

Monster: Bleh.

Dean: Sam?

Sam: Dean?

DPR: ??????????

///

Scene: in the impala.

Dean: Maybe we are each other's weaknesses.

Sam: We're still fam.

Dean: Yeah, I know.

Sam: Dean, I'm sorry.

Dean: Yeah, I am too.

Dean: ...

Dean: Damn it, we just had a chick flick moment.

[nico-demons]

I couldn’t not make this. @notoccultbutethereal

[super-sootica]

SPN 14X09 Summary

And Liveblog

It’s Christmas time so we open with some kind of massacre.  Michael of course orchestrated it.  Garth appears as a werewolf volunteer for Michael’s cause, but Michael knows who he is.

Jack is eating high sugar children’s cereal in the dark, Sam would be appalled.  Jack’s worried about heaven’s safety as he should be, Cas reassures him.  Jack is also concerned the Empty will take Cas, Cas points out that he never gets to be happy so there’s no reason to worry....sounds accurate. 

Cas is eating the ceral too, that’s a metaphor for allowing yourself to be happy on this show hun (eating junk).  Guess the boot is gonna drop sooner rather than later.  Give it a few episodes.

Sam is behind Garth’s Trojan horseness and very concerned.  Garth says not to worry as he will spit, and not swallow the mix of grace and blood.  Ketch calls in, he couldn’t get an egg to them on time.

Cas and Dean go to a garbage place on Garth’s advice, Jack and Sam  go after the egg.  Cas comments on how happy Dean is...looking a little happy there yourself Cas.  Almost as though your happiness were tied to being with your family.

Jack picked a lock.  Jack is a criminal.   And still a key.  Sam gets jumped and hit over the head by Michael’s monsters, who also kidnapp Jack.

Aww Jack truly is Castiel’s son. Michael melts Sam’s egg then leaves.

Dark!Kaia shows, won’t give her spear.  Dean gives the ‘big speech’to convince her to give it over.  Dark!Kaia makes a deal with Cas and Dean to lend them the spear if Jack uses his powers to get her home...might have a wait there.  TFW race to get Jack.

Michael tells Jack they are family, can’t be arsed killing Jack because Jack is weak right now.  They are the only super beings, everyone else is scum etc.  Jack rightly puts out his actual uncle is in the cage (current Michael is an AU Michael, not original flavour Michael who was less of a douche).  Michael plans to keep Jack.

Sam went after Jack alone, after telling Cas he wouldn’t. No judgement, he wants his people back.  Jingle Bells, Michael smells, and he broke an egg.

He frees Jack, Garth appears.  Garth attacks Sam and Jack, he’s being controlled.  Sam and Jack fight back, Garth ends up in the impala’s boot.   Cas heals Jack.  TFW 2.0 go after Michael.  Happy music plays...Yes you absolutely should be very very afraid of all the signs of happy in this episode.  What comes after the happy?  Always?

Um...overdramatic music set to SPN is my thing.  Michael goes on a Castiel hunt because he can feel Cas’ presence.  Cas attacks, Michael beats him up.  Cas always gets beaten up.  The rest of TFW 2.0 show up and promptly get their asses kicked too.  Michael repossesses Dean and destroys the spear.  It was Michael’s plan all along, he wanted to crush Dean’s hopes of being with his family.

Loll, the snappening.  Thanos wants his moves back Michael. Anywho, get some super glue for the spear guys.

[riv-ika]

so i saw this

and i thought i should input the last three seasons

Season 11: swiggity swarkness oh shit it's the Darkness 

Season 12: swiggity swoosifer god damn it Lucifer

Season 13: swiggity swack aw look at Ja- BITCH GABRIEL’S BACK

[super-sootica]

Supernatural 14x08 Summary

And also Live Blog, because that’s just how I’m doing things

Update.  Jack is still dying.  All three Dads aren’t taking it very well.  On the upside Jack has an oxygen mask which is nice.  Dean walks out of the room, his face a picture of hopelessness, grief and anger.  I half expect him to cry, but he’s only capable of a single man tear after all.

Sam is so close and caring with Jack he may as well get into bed with him.  Not in a romantic way you goddamn perverts.  But yeah, Sam isn’t interested in leaving Jack alone. Jack wonders what will happen when he dies?  Where does he go?  No one knows.

Cas follows Dean into the hall.  Cas basically tells Dean to get his ass back in there.  Back to the room we go.

He died?  Jack died?  While Dean and Cas where out of the room?  Sam just said so...Off camera?  Um...I’d like a refund please.  Give him back.

Later.  Dean and Cas are talking about how to ‘honour’ (read burn) Jack.  Sam walks off mid conversation.  I’m with you Sam!  Fuck this death thing in it’s face!  Cas tries to go after Sam, Dean’s stops Cas at a speed not perceptible to the human eye. 

Cas is concerned about Sam’s pain.  There’s pain enough to go around my dude.  I know what you’re hiding Cas, and even if Misha’s acting didn’t tell me that the long medium shot on ya face would have.

Dean calls Mary to leave a voicemail annoucing the death, while Cas stands over Jack’s bedside,forlorn and thinking of Kelly too, and obviously the promise he made her.  Sam has packed his bags.  He outtie.  Wait Sam are you really outtie?  No, no innie!  No leave!  Anyway Dean in a long hall alone, unable to connect, ,to talk, *insert explanation about the loneliness  of grief here via visual storytelling*.

Cas see Sam leave.  Light on Castiel’s face.  Until Sam leaves.  Who wants to talk about the message here?  You?  Calling obvious symbolism, please pick up.  Cas and Dean meet, then go after Sam.  ‘How could you just let him leave?’, asks Dean.  In fairness Ken Doll, Cas did want to go get Sam.  You said to give him space.  Like minutes ago.   Yeah interpretation, bleh bleh bleh.  Oh good they’re arguing about it.  Good Cas, stand up for yourself!

Sam no!  He tried to build a funeral pyre by knocking trees down but his axe broke.  He can’t do anything right now, everything he tries fails, what a metaphor.

Cas makes a comment about how unnatural it is that Jack was taken before Castiel by death.

Actually, not suspicious.  Y’all know where this going right?  Dean suggests they get drunk.  Sam is nearly crying.  Cas...isn’t here..not mentally.  He’s thinking still.  Of a way out.

Montage of TFW drinking, quite cute. They’re smiling, they love each other.  At least they have each other, and whiskey, and snickers bars.  Sam goes to bed, Cas leaves soon after.  Dean asks Cas as he leaves ‘We did everything we could, right?, Cas doesn’t answer.  Hint 2002.

Jack’s heaven is being on the road with Team Free Will?  That’s so sweet that now I need fillings in all my teeth.  Jack is chased by a black goo in heaven. Kinda like the goo in The Empty. Dean hungover.  Lily Sunders is here now.  Lily wants to burn a part of Jack’s soul to bring Jack back.

Update.  Annubis (as in the God)and heaven are BFFS.  He’s in charge of souls (as in, do they go up or down).  Jack wandered into Kelly Kline’s heaven.  Cas goes to heaven, saves another angel. They been attacked by the goo.  Oh Naomi hi, I loved you in Stargate.  She explains it is The Empty shadow thing attacking...called it.  It wants Jack, or heaven will be destroyed.  Cas runs away from Naomi being overtaken by goo.

Sam summons Annubis.  Annubis reveals Lily Sunders is gonna go to hell (she agreed to help Jack in exchange for TFW getting her into heaven).  Annubis advises he will recalculate on her death.  And who knows, maybe if she eats all her vegetables she can go to heaven.  Lily is gutted, can’t blame her.  Hell sounds hot.  Cas arrives in Kelly Klines heaven with Dumma (is that how you spell it?  Can’t be bothered looking it up), Jack wants to protect his Mum.  Cas and Jack cuddles! Cas and Kelly cuddles!  Oh, that’s no Dumma.  It’s The Empty.  Makes sense.

Lily wants to walk without reviving Jack, because she isn’t getting into heaven (as of now) and the deal was she was supposed to get into heaven.  Sam and Dean point out she went nuts over her kids death, and Jack is their son.

The Empty shadow is loco in the coco.  Attacks Cas.  The Empty shadow says The Empty is worse than hell.   Cut to Lily helping the Win Bros to revive Jack.  Cas is getting beaten up by the Empty shadow....what a sore loser.  Dean prays to Cas to do his part.  The shadow thingie chokes Jack.  Cas offers himself up in Jack’s place.  The Empty shadow accepts but doesn’t take him now.  It wants Cas to go back to his normal life..so when he’s happy she’ll take the angel to the worst place possible..some of you may remember this plotline from Buffy the Vampire Slayer where happiness (orgasm) literally made an ‘angel’ go to hell, whatevs.

The shadow leaves.  Jack is pissed Cas would offer himself up in a deal....Dean was worried about Sam making a deal...but it was Cas all along.  Cas confesses his love for Jack.  He tells Jack that Sam and Dean love Jack too, and asks that Jack not tell the Winchesters about the deal. So they don’t worry.  Jack promises not to tell.  Kelly tells Jack she loves him.  So many declarations of love...good.

Cas holds Jack. Works his angel mojo.  Jack awakens on earth, with the Winchesters and Lily. Jack reads Lily’s spell.  Lily died in the process. Annubis let’s Lily weigh her soul again.  She’s going to heaven now.  Naomi thanks Cas for saving them and offers the Archangel Michael’s location as a reward.

TFW 2.0 hanging out happy and eating.  Cas is showing no signs during, of his fate.  Anyway, The Empty shadow is a metaphor for depresson and no hope.