Sam x Reader-Dean secretly not secretly hates you/is jealous of you, and Sam finds out
I've seen a lot of hate happen around me to me for no reason to be present. It inspired me to write this one. I hope no one's on either end of that. It must be exhausting to be filled with hate. Then, to be the one being attacked is obviously so detrimental to a person regardless if effort is made to be on good terms. I am sorry to anyone who has ever gone through irrational hate.
This is lots of angst, sad times, fluff, maybe some laughs. Hope you enjoy!
Warning! A very small reference to smut but no actual smut, fighting, injury, mentions of blood.
Word count: 4,601 (I was having trouble with the keep reading tab on mobile, so I took it off as to not inconvenience anyone who might end with the same issue so sorry for the long post.)
You’d just finished making Sam some breakfast. He sat down, and you drape your arms across his chest just enjoying his warmth and presence when Dean trudged up to you two. You presented a smile and queried, “Morning, Want me to make you something, Dean?”
“No. Why would I want that?” He snapped. Sam felt your hands come together and clench against him. Sam gave Dean a glare, but his voice followed playful to say, “Don’t mind Dean, Y/N. He just hasn’t had his morning coffee.” His hand comes up to rest on your cheek before he arches his neck to you with puckered lips and closed eyes. You gave in, and the kiss eased you from Dean's behavior. As you looked to Dean heading to the coffee, you couldn't help ask, “I could make you a cup of-”
“No thanks. I doubt you know how I like it.” Dean walks right past you.
With a bit of food still in Sam’s mouth, he muttered, “Just the coffee. He doesn’t usually act like that.”
“Right." You gave Sam a quick grin and let it drop when Sam turned back to his food, muttering, "He doesn’t usually act like that…" You sat next to Sam and kept the smile up.
Later in the day, when you had a chance, you went up to Dean. Instantly, you asked, “Dean, can you tell me why-”
“Dean, you never even give me a good enough reason as to why you-”
“How about you being so annoying that you need validation?”
“Hey-You know it’s more than that. We need to coexist for Sam. We can’t be like this with him around. How would he feel if he knew you didn’t-”
“You’re going to criticize how I handle my brother?” He cocked his head at you.
“I didn’t mean-” Dean cut you off to darkly utter, “Mine. You might want to rethink that, "Y/N. I was here first and-”
“I know. That’s why I’ve been trying to make this work.”
“I’m years worth more than you’ll ever be, so I’d be more careful how you talk to me.” You wanted to speak out, but you choked up. The action left a smile and almost a skip in his step while leaving you with once again a heavy heart.
Sam, you, and Dean all headed out to finish your last hunt. A monster that was all the way from Latin legend with a name you couldn’t even begin to pronounce, called cipatli. It had the appearance of an alligator, and it had 18 mouths on it. In the past it had bodied whole small towns. Luckily, you and Sam were able to deduce that there was an old spell that could get the job done.
The creature was pretty strong though, and it had a few hostages around. You were all struggling to keep any harm from going to the innocents. All trying to get a hit at the boss when you could. It wasn’t going so well, and Dean and Sam were getting a bit overpowered; however, you knew if this was going to work that you needed there to be more focus on your side of the room, so the spell could be finished. The spell only required two people. While you’d learned the spell, your Latin was a little rough, and Sam and Dean were the real experts on that.
Suddenly, you remembered having read that the beast can be distracted by its own foot. While Sam and Dean took that fact with a grain of salt, you brought a sword from the base in hand. You did your best to cut at it’s foot. It roared in anguish, and the foot came off, which made the creature wobble. This allowed Sam and Dean to keep reciting while you moved back, and the foot spasmed in your hand. It’s sharp teeth on the leg were still itching for a bite.
Before your eyes, the beast leg came growing back, and it turned to rush toward you, which made you drop the foot.
In the, moment, you called to Sam and Dean, “Keep going with the spell!” Dean was quick to keep going with his words along with helping people out of the area. Currently, under attack, you’d lose your footing. You fell to the ground. You attempt to use the word as a barrier before the creature actually bites your head off. You did your best to stand, but the beast still managed to bang you against the wall.
The site halted Sam's words, and he grabbed onto the monster's foot and called out to it while holding the foot and burning it; In turn, Dean had to stop short of words too. Sam watched as the monster let you go, and you dropped to the ground.
Dean stopped short at the sight in front him. You fell to the ground as the Dean went to Sam and Dean rushed over to Sam that was just thrown against the wall too, which left him unconscious.
“Don’t just stand there, the spell!” Dean said.
You jumped up and rushed to slice up the beast and recite the spell. You start fumbling with your words, and Dean hollers out the right words. You finish the spell. The monster erupts in a green light with a small force along with. The force left you holding yourself up against the wall.
You weren't to worried about the need of support when you searched for Sam as your vision moving all over the place. Luckily, you catch sight of Dean helping Sam up. Then, Sam rushed over to you and asked, “Are you okay?” You groaned out in response.
”Sweetie, please say something...”
Sam let out a breath of relief and answered, “Fine. You?”
“It was just a little rough. I’m good.” You raise yourself, wobbly so, and Sam holds you up.
“Come on, I’ll carry you.”
"You're hurt. Let me do this...please." You nod and let him incase you in his arms since you knew he found comfort in helping you. The whole time Dean can only burn lasers into the interaction before him.
With the job being done, you all make your way to the impala. Time goes on, and your head pounded, which made you sleep. It alarmed Sam at first, but you seemed peaceful so he allowed it. Out of nowhere, Dean harshly expressed, “Y/N better not bleed all over my-” Sam scoffed and bit back, “Dean, They’re hurt. Be more considerate. It-” Dean didn’t let him finish barking back, “What the hell was that back there?”
“You lost focus because of them.”
“Dean, they could have died.”
“You should’ve finished strong, but no-Y/N ruin-”
“Stop right there. They did just as much out there as we did.”
“Yeah. Okay.” Dean rolled his eyes. “Can’t even get a damn incantation right.”
“Dean, they did their best-”
“Their best isn’t what we need out there. They will ruin you, Sam. It’s life or-”
“Don’t even say it, you remember it took you forever to learn-”
“They are going to get you killed.”
“That’s not how it works and you know it. The evil bastards out there in the world are to blame. Don’t talk about Y/N like that again.”
When you guys got back to the bunker, Dean darted away in silent fuming while Sam shook you awake. You sat up and licked at your dry lips before smacking your lips. Sam smiled at the action and ran a hand through your hair lovingly. He moved out of the car first, and he held a hand out to help you out of the car. You both walked into the bunker where Dean was going through the fridge already. He met eyes with the both of you. You squint your eyes out of Sam’s view awaiting Dean’s discontent with you; instead, for once, you were surprised Dean didn't say anything as he walked off to his room. The action actually made you feel better. You hoped Dean was coming around to you even a little bit if he was biting his tongue for once.
Suddenly, with nothing else to focus on, yours' and Sam’s stench hit your nose. You scratched your nose in distaste and commented, "We stink. How about a shower?" Sam gave you a smirk before replying, "To get clean I agree, hun."
He began to undress himself quickly and easily while you struggled. When Sam, who was already naked, looked back over to you, he’d seen that you’d only gotten your pants off, but you noticed there was a cut along his elbow. You call out, "Sam…", and you show it to him. He strains to take a look at it as you take out the first aid from the cabinet and start tentatively cleaning the cut. Having given more time than necessary on the cut, Sam jokes, "You’d think I was losing my whole arm from how you're treating me. I think you're overdoing it for a cut."
"Just making sure." Sam smiles knowingly and says, "Yeah. Okay. You're stalling. It's your turn." He waves you over. "Come on."
"I've got it. Thank you very much." You attempt to peel the shirt over you, but you are only met with pain. You suck in a breath in shock. Losing the smile, Sam rushes over to gently raise your shirt only to reveal a large gash and multiple bruises on the side of your abdomen. He winces for you and mutters, “Oof Y/N, that looks bad."
"Why thanks, Sam." You laugh; of course, it only causes pain. Sam notices and cradles your head in his hands and kisses your forehead.
"I think it would be better if I just mutilated this shirt off of you." You nod as the pain really sets in. He finds a pair of scissors in the first aid and starts cutting through. Now fully exposed, he could see all the damage and his eyes clouded up.
"Sam...I'm really sorry about earlier…"
"Slipping up on the spell."
"Come on, that hunt was pretty doomed from the beginning. Let me clean the wounds." You allow him and he continues. "It's not like you generally deal with old Latin anyway."
"Seriously, we all did our best out there, and I know that to be truer when I am talking about you."
"Aw-” Sam quickly applies peroxide onto you, cutting you off. You exclaim ”Ow!" You give him a stern look, and he just smiles innocently not looking you in the eyes. You playfully hit his arm and ask, "Did you just compliment me to distract me?"
"No. No…" He gave you a peck on your lips and pulled away to say, "I thought of it half way through what I was saying. I really meant it. Believe in you the way you believe in me.” He rubbed your arm sweetly. In response, you lay your hand on his cheek and rub gently with your thumb, which makes him widely smile. You shrug before saying, "Alright. I'll believe you. Come on, let's shower." You grab his hand and lead him inside. You gently wash each other. Well, more Sam washing you, sadly; you're too hurt.
When you finish, Sam is quick to seal your wound. You both had dried yourselves off best you could, and you were about ready to change when Sam motions for you to stop.
"Look, just-" He motions "stay" before wrapping a towel around his waist and walking out. You wait patiently for a good 30 seconds. He returned clothed in pjs. with a pair of your bottoms and single of his shirts in his hand. He held them out to you and simply told you, “Wear my shirt.”
“Something bigger on you will give you something not really restricting, so you won’t be in so much pain.”
“I think you just want me in your shirt, but okay I’m too tired to argue.”
"Can't argue with that last part. I am beat." He helps you get it into it and hugs onto you along with a nuzzling of his nose to your shoulder. You giggle at him, and he pulls back to pull you into a kiss, which you relay in the same intensity he was giving you. The kisses become lazier and lazier but not any less love filled. Against your lips, he says, “I’d really like to continue this more, but I am really tired.”
“Me too, but don't worry we will be back for more."
"Yes we will." Sam and you cling to each other and walk over to the bed until you both lay down.
He huddles into your chest as you have your arm around his neck and the other hand is rated on his face gently stroking it until you both fall asleep. You loved him in your arms at night when you felt safe and thought he could be safe.
In the middle of the night, you wake up with thirst creeping at your throat.
“I’ll be right back. I’m thirsty. I’ll bring you some water.”
You were quick and quiet, drinking a glass of water and refilling it to bring it back for Sam. You were on your way back to the room when you suddenly saw Dean’s figure a few feet away just staring. You stumble back and hold your heart and gasp, “Jesus, Dean, why would you creep on me like that?”
“Kinda need to be good at that for the job.”
“That didn’t sound as good or cool as you thought it did.” You grinned. It seemed like he almost wanted to too instead he raised a quick brown and said, “We need to talk.”
You lay the water on the counter and gesture for him to continue. “What are you doing?”
“With Sam.” He stepped forward.
“That doesn't make it any clearer-”
“You were terrible today on our hunt.”
“I know. The incantation was-”
“Bare minimum.” He stepped forward again. It was getting more tense for you the closer he got. Those two steps closing lots of space between you two due to his height.
“Look, I’m sorry. I know I messed up a bit, but I got it in the end. If we ever need it again, I’ll be ready. I promise.”
“Oh-Will you?” You were feeling attacked and found it in yourself to counter, “Yes, I will.”
“That's great and all, but what about every other issue you cause. It-”
“You’re a distraction to Sam. That’s dangerous. You know it is-”
“Sam is capable of thinking for himself. I don’t think you really believe I’m worth enough to distract him.”
“Hey, you're right for once. I don’t think you're enough for him. You-”
“Dean, you may not like me, but don’t go making assumptions you can't back up. You’ve hated me for the longest time, and I don’t get why. But-” You were tearing up. He was now towering over you a scowl covering his face not liking that you were fighting back.
“You’re going to ruin him. You will ruin Sam. I can't have that. If you really care about him, you’ll leave, so there can be something better for him.”
“You know it’s true. Stop kidding yourself.” He spat and walked away.
You choked up a lump in your throat not wanting to go down so that you could cough out a bit, which brought tears down. You did your best to calm down but couldn't seem to. You drank a bit of water and walked back with silent tears coming out. You laid on top of Sam holding on for dear life. You breathed in and out trying not to make a sound. However, slight hiccups, huffs of breath, and small whimpers rang out. Sometimes audible, others muffled, others silent from shear suppression.
In the morning, Sam woke up first. Seeing your puffy eyes and tear stained face, he shook you awake. “Honey, you okay?” You groaned in response being so tired. He grabbed at your face and wiped it gently. He held you gently. He scoots up to hug you close. He slouched down to be in front of you with pure worry sparkling from his beautiful eyes. You laid your right thumb on his chin gently stroking it while your other hand was running through his hair near his ear.
“What’s wrong? What happened?”
You drank him in trying to find the strength to do what you thought would be best. You whimpered out, “I-I love you.” He smiled slightly at how heartfelt the statement was. Sam reciprocated with just as much love filled words, “I love you too, but you don’t need to cry because I’m so great.” He attempted his best hair flip, which made you and him laugh; however, your laughter dialed back quickly.
“I love you, so…" You look up at him with sad eyes.
Your mouth goes dry. You look to the door as if Dean were standing there. You shake your head at him. And say, "So, I'm gonna need a minute or so to get out of bed because Dean will make fun of me for being a big baby." You fake a smile and Sam laughs and you laugh dryly luckily masked by Sam. He nods and says, "I am okay with that. Also, don't be so dramatic. I thought you were gonna say something that would make my heart drop, I swear. Facial expression matters." He points out playfully before kissing you again. You smile and answer, "Well aware, Sam. I love you."
“I love you too. Be right back, I’ll make us breakfast in bed.”
“You don’t-” He doesn't let you finish already knowing what you're going to say. He moves up along the bed on all fours to have his face in front of you, and he says, “Want to, sweetheart.” Kissing you once more before leaving the room. You frown and hug onto yourself thinking of what could come in the future.
Later, in the day, you went through Dean’s stash of food and disposed of most of it. While it was a part of your plan to leave, you had to admit it felt good to have an upper hand on Dean for once.
Having disposed of the items, you tippy toed your way over to Dean while Sam wasn’t around, which only earned you a glare.
"I knew you didn't love-"
"I'm gonna stop you right there. Dean, I'm a lot of things and say what you want, but I love Sam so much...so much. I don't want to hear another word about that, Dean."
"But what? I'm still here? Well aware. Look, I need you to go to the store with Sam.”
“You bossing me around?” He challenges.
“Matter of fact, yes. I need you to go with him. I’m sure you need stuff anyway.” He put a hand on his hip and answered, “Actually, I think I’m all set.”
“Am I sure?” Dean dryly laughed. “You really felt like poking the bear this morning.”
He shook his head in amusement, and he answered, “I’ll bite.” He walked over to his stash with a pleasant smile that dropped in an instant after he realized. You gave a knowing eyebrow and smiled his way. He cleared his throat and answered, “I’ll go. Not because you told me to, but I could use a few things. Also, I wouldn’t want you to pick out the wrong stuff. So...yeah.” Dean twiddled away from you quickly in embarrassment; however, before he could completely leave you almost wanted to admit your soon leave. A lump got caught in your throat to admit that in some way Dean was right, but he wasn’t. He’d never get that, so you waved him off and let him go.
You’d wished he’d given you a chance to make more simple memories like that, but you knew that wasn't going to happen. Dean was someone who stuck to his guns, and you would be naïve to think you would change his mind and attitudes. You couldn’t be that special as Dean has expressed vigorously.
Later on, Dean pulls up to Sam with his jacket in hand with a big smile on his face. He stares down at Sam. Instantly, Sam asks, "What?" Dean responds, ``We're going on a supply run.” , while already pushing Sam up and out of the room rushing.
"Dean!" Sam whines, stopping his arms against the door frame.
"Let's go, bub, don't have all day." Dean grins.
"Wait, I'll just go with Y/N. Let me go get them" The grin wipes Dean's face from Sam wanting your presence over him and shoves Sam out the door.
Hearing the door slam, you rush to pack your things. You felt a bit numb and empty as you thought about your life without Sam now. Shaking your head, you remind yourself that it's for him, and that is all that matters. You rush out and begin your walk. If Sam tries to come for you, you needed a car incognito. Otherwise, all of this would’ve been for nothing. You can’t help crying on your walk not really feeling it, but your body clearly knowing what to do.
As Sam and Dean arrive back to the bunker, Dean sees a smile planted on Sam’s face and asks, "Why so chipper?" Sam holds up a bag in reply.
“Am I supposed to know what that means?”
“No. I just got some snacks that Y/N likes, and I picked out some food to make dinner for the 2 of us."
"No. I just want to." Sam grabs one bag in hand and adds, "I'm going to give this to them now." Dean gives a shrug and simply says, “I’ll be cracking the books for a bit if you need me.” Dean smiles.
Sam looks all over, finally stopping in your shared room; however, having not found you, he calls you while he decides to put the bag of goods into your drawer to surprise you since you weren't home. He freezes up seeing the vacant clothes. He shakes his head and closes and opens the door contemplating that he saw wrong. However, coming to the inevitable distinction, he drags the drawer all the way out and let's it hit the ground.
His hand draws out his phone and calls your number. You don't answer, which causes him to clutch the bag in hand. He calls a few more times. Finally, he knows you’ve started denying the calls. Frantically, he texts , "Please answer." A lump in his throat. You reluctantly pick up his next call. Immediately, he asks, "Where are you?" His hands fidgeted as they wiped nothing off his forehead and the sides of his face. His mind is going toward the worst but hoping you'd reassure him as always.
"Sam, umm...I need to let you go…” His face dropped like a light switching off. He takes in a breath. “Why would you say that?”
“Look, I'm not the best thing for you-"
"I decide that!" He strains tears threateningly.
"You deserve better-It's not me…" He sobs out, "Baby, please...just come back. We can talk about this. You can’t just-This is all out of nowhere. What did I do? I can fix it."
"It’s not on you, Sam. I know you like to play that card-Just...The last hunt showed my worth in this relationship, so I'm doing what’s best."
"What are you talking about?!"
"Sam, I couldn't get a simple spell-"
"So what? I already told you-"
"Sam, I could get you ki-I'm gonna ruin you, so I have to do this."
"Y/N-" He can hear you cry on the other line. After saying goodbye, you hang up. In response, Sam replayed the last words as they sound familiar and something clicks in him. He rushes to find Dean wiping the discarded tears. Sam found him at the table looking for information for their latest hunt. Sam rumbled out, “Dean!”
In rage, Sam heaves the bag of package goods in his vicinity. From the force, the bags audibly pop. The action and sound made Dean jump a bit in his seat, and he tried to gain control of the situation by beginning to say, “Woah, who bit you in the a-"
Sam lifts Dean up by the shirt to the point where Dean swore he was off the ground, and Dean had never seen such a scary expression on Sam’s face.
“What did you do?!” Sam shook him enough to give him whiplash.
“Jesus-Get off-” Dean grabs onto Sam’s hands holding his shirt and tries to get him to let go, but Sam holds still.
“I am not having a conversation this way! Let go!” Sam audibly seethed almost liked he was hissing and heaved at Dean. Sam’s whole body shaking. “Great, now wha-”
“You know what this about!” Sam might as well have growled.
Dean puts some space between hearing Sam’s voice.
“Please be more sp-” Sam's fist makes contact with Dean’s jaw.
“Y/N! What did you say to them?! I know it was you. Can’t get a simple spell right would’ve been a stretch, but- But-! But, the I’m gonna ruin you?!…Oh, I’m gonna ruin you!“ Sam pounces again, and he tackles Dean down while holding his hands down.
The hand that doesn't help restrain Dean raising into a fist in a shaky manner. Tears are starting to slip out now. Sam strains as he wants to swing, but you seem to keep him from continuing. Crying, through clenched teeth he says, “They’re gone. Gone!”
“Look, Y/N didn’t fight for you, so I did you a fav-'' Sam swiftly let's go of Dean, trying to get far far away from him and smashes down on the table.
Sam doesn't take the time to think about the table or his hands and just snarls out, “Not fighting for me?! Not-'' His voice begins cracking, which makes him want to stop talking all together.
Sam points out to Dean with his lips quivering and letting out ridged and hitched breaths. At this point Sam is beyond exhausted with Dean; however, Sam points out once more to Dean all while moving back more and more as he knocked into a shelf or two on his way to the door frame, in turn knocked down some books. Sam was tired for himself, but for you? He had too defend and say, “Dean, you-you have no ide-Y/N is fighting for me! By leaving! It’s dumb and stupid that they’d think they weren’t the best thing for me, but-They think its the best thing for me because my own brother preached it was-To hear it from you! This is all your fucking fault!” Dean bites his lip and pinches his nose giving a soft grin saying, “Hey-I was just looking out for you-”
“No!” Sam pouts out and shakes his head. Scrunching his face in discontent. “No...You didn’t like that someone else could be there for me in ways you couldn't. Fucking jealous. You couldn’t let me be happy? After everything? For what? Oh, I know. To not be alone. Shocker there. You’ve done a lot of things, but this? I just-can’t-Won’t. How did you think I would feel about this?! Seriously, you're not stupid. So?! You went behind my back-You really chalked it up to selfishness on this one.” Sam dismisses Dean with a flick of the hand and storms off.
Hope your day gets better
