Author’s Note: The uwu is ironic but also not because oh my GOD this is the fluffiest thing I've ever written -Kelsie
Word Count: 424
You woke up quickly from an unpleasant dream and rubbed your eyes tiredly. You were a lot warmer than you were when you fell asleep. The time was unclear, seeing as you were in space and didn’t have sunlight to tell it. You needed to check your clock.
As you began to sit up, you felt a weight on your abdomen and you gasped. Spock had came in to your quarters sometime after you fell asleep and joined you in bed. That part wasn’t what shocked you, though. What shocked you was the fact that in his sleep he had instinctively held you. He was never much of a cuddler, and when he did cuddle you it was awkward and forced.
He looked relaxed now, though. Forgetting your mission to check the time, you slowly sunk back below the covers, trying not to wake the sleeping Vulcan beside you.
His mouth was opened slightly and his hair was tousled from rolling on the pillow. The more you thought of it, the more you realized that you had never seen him this relaxed before. His arm was still curled around your abdomen and he gripped at your shirt, pulling you closer.
If you didn't know any better you’d think that he was awake. He never did this when he was awake, though. He had to be asleep.
You brought your hand up to his face, brushing his hair out of the way so you could see him better. His eyebrows furrowed together as he slowly woke.
“Y/n?” He spoke, his voice groggy with sleep.
“I didn’t mean to wake you,” You mumbled, pulling your hand away.
You watched his expression change as he realized the position he was in.
“I apologize,” He said, pulling his hand away from you almost instantly. He rubbed at his eyes tiredly and you had to refrain from gushing out loud. It was a lot colder without him holding you, though.
“Don’t apologize,” You smiled, cupping his face with your hand again, “You warmed me up,”
He let you lean forward and kiss the tip of his nose quickly. The corner of his mouth lifted slightly as he watched you blush. He was always more emotional when he was sleepy.
“Hold me,” You mumbled, burying your face into the crook of his neck. He quickly obliged, both arms finding their way around you. You felt him bury his face into your hair and sigh contently.
You didn’t get emotions from Spock often, but when you did it was pure euphoria.
Summary: The reader mourns the death of her mother.
Author’s Note: Part 2 to Cold -Kelsie
Word Count: 810
A few days of bed rest had turned into a few weeks. You couldn’t remember the last time you left your quarters. Your only guests were Dr. McCoy, Spock, and occasionally Jim. Dr. McCoy was constantly nagging you about eating, but you had no appetite.
They found her body several days after you had found out what happened. The confirming of her death sent you over the edge. You didn’t let anyone in your quarters for days.
Today you sat buried under a mound of blankets, your quarters were always cold. You hadn’t showered in a week, the last thing you ate was a saltine and it was two days ago. You felt weak. You didn’t know if it was the depression or the lack of food and water.
The doors to your quarters slid open and closed quickly with a familiar swoosh.
“y/n,” It was Spock. He knelt next to your bed with a platter holding a sandwich and a glass of water.
“Dr. McCoy asked me to bring these to you,” He said, setting the food on your bedside table.
“ ‘M not hungry,” You said, burying your face under the blankets.
“You need to eat,” He said as he pushed your legs aside so he could sit on the edge of the bed. You kicked at him weakly from under several heavy blankets. He watched you sadly and pulled some of the blankets back so he could see your face.
“I wanna be alone right now,” You mumbled, the cold air hitting your face. His lips tightened into a straight line as he looked disapproving at you.
“I don’t think that’s best,” He said quietly. His hand traveled underneath the blankets and touched your arm softly. You felt tears start to well up in your eyes. You had been ignoring him for weeks and you realized how much you missed him.
“I’m sorry Spock,” You said, sniffing as you tried to keep your tears in. He reached down and brushed your cheeks slightly with his thumb but he didn’t say anything. The cold air traveled underneath the blankets as well and you shivered. Reaching out, you grabbed his arm and pulled at his blue sleeve slightly.
“Will you lay with me?” You asked quietly. He quickly got up, kicked his shoes off and climbed in behind you underneath the many blankets. You turned so you could rest your head on his chest and you breathed in the antibacterial sent of his uniform. He had been at the lab today.
“What was it like when your mom died?” You asked as you sniffed away more tears. He was quiet for a moment and you were worried that you had overstepped your boundaries.
“I was... emotional,” He said, rubbing your back slightly. This was an odd action coming from him. You sat up on your elbow so you could look at him. You could tell he was sad just thinking about it.
“I’m sorry,” you mumbled. You regretted asking him. He shook his head in response and looked up at you.
“My father was sad too,” He mumbled, “He really loved her,”
“Love is a human emotion,” You giggled as he smirked at you.
“Yes,” He finally said, “My father was never like other Vulcans,”
“He married a human,” You noted. He nodded.
“I still miss her,” He said quietly after a moment of silence. You brought your hand up and absently played with the badge on his shirt. You really didn’t know what to say. He rarely opened up to you emotionally like this.
He slowly lifted his hand toward your face and touched it softly. His breath hitched in his throat and his lips parted as he pulled his hand back quickly.
“Did you do you Vulcan mind thing to me?” You asked, leaning away from him. You didn’t want him to pity you.
“Vulcan mind meld,” He corrected you, “I didn’t realize how much grief you actually felt,”
“You didn’t need to know,” You mumbled. He sat up quickly and stared at you.
“I’m trying to understand what you’re feeling so I can help you,” He said, his eyebrows scrunching up, “Don’t you want help?”
“You sound frustrated,” You teased, glaring up at him. His face deadpanned as he stared at you. Instead of saying anything else he got up and started to leave.
“Eat,” He said before turning and leaving you alone once again.
You glanced at the platter of food on your bedside table and rolled your eyes. You felt your breath hitch in your throat as you started to cry again. Your stomach tied itself in knots from guilt. He was just trying to help. Why didn’t you let him? He actually cared about him and you just pushed him away. Depression overtook you again and you buried yourself back underneath your blankets.
You lost count of how many days had passed. Hell, you barely even looked at the time. You didn’t know what day it was, you didn’t know how long it had been. It felt like an eternity to you. That’s why it surprised you when Spock came in telling you the funeral would be held in five hours. Had it really been that long already? He dropped off a black dress as well, which you assumed you needed to wear. Once he left you sat up, catching a whiff of the area around you for the first time in weeks. You couldn't remember the last time you showered.
Admittedly, you regretted waiting to shower. Once the water hit your bare skin you felt a little better. You completely covered yourself in soap in hopes of making up the weeks without showering.
After the shower, you brushed your teeth, did your hair, and made yourself look presentable for the first time in at least a month. You stood staring at the unfamiliar dress with confusion. Had Spock picked it out? It was plain, you wouldn’t put such a boring choice past him.
You quickly slid the soft fabric over your head and it fell shapeless over your body. It was a nice break from the body-clinging tunic you had to wear every day. You didn’t have the energy for heels so you instead put on your uniform boots.
Your doors slid open and closed quickly and you looked up to see Spock wearing a dark sweater and dress pants. He raised his eyebrow in question, most likely at your dirty boots but you ignored him.
“Don’t you look handsome,” You said, poking at his sweater.
“It’s nice to see you out of bed,” He said, ignoring your compliment. You rolled your eyes.
“Why are you here so early?” You asked, glancing at the clock, “We still have another hour,”
“I brought you food,” He said, handing you a paper bag with some bread and butter in it. You looked down at the pathetic food then back up at him.
“I’m not hungry,” You said, shoving the bag back into his arms.
“You haven’t eaten in days,” He said, setting the bag on your bed, “You could faint from malnutrition,”
“That sounds exciting,” You joked. His expression didn’t change.
“I’ll be back in an hour,” He said before leaving swiftly.
You grabbed the bag then quickly shoved it down your garbage shute. You felt like if you tried eating anything you’d just throw it back up. You sat quietly on your bed and silently prayed that they wouldn’t ask you to speak at the funeral. You really weren’t in the mood.
An hour later Spock came back and took you to a large conference room filled with chairs.
“Sit,” he said before forcibly pushing you down in a chair near the back. You glared up at him and sunk low in the chair, crossing your arms. He left you sitting alone in the cold plastic chair while he went to chat with Jim on the other side of the room.
“How’s my favorite patient?” You turned, startled to see Dr. McCoy sit down next to you.
“Jesus Bones! You’re gonna give me a heart attack,” You said, turning to face him. He quickly started scanning you and you pushed his hand away.
“I’m fine,” You said, crossing your arms again.
“You haven’t eaten in days,” He said as he read the scan’s readings.
“I gave her toast earlier,” Spock said from behind you. Busted. He glared at you from above before sitting down silently next to you.
“I wasn’t hungry,” You mumbled. He narrowed his eyes. You could tell he was mad.
“I’ll check in later,” Bones whispered before quickly leaving. The service was starting.
Jim started by naming the victims who died in the attack. Turns out it was Klingons who passed the border and initiated war against Starfleet again. He said a few words then left the podium open for anyone to speak about the victims. He made eye contact with you but you quickly looked away. You didn’t feel like crying in front of hundreds of people today. After a few hours of listening to what people had to say about some of the Starfleet members who passed, you started getting tired. How? You didn't know. You had been sleeping all day for weeks straight. You had more than enough sleep.
After another hour they brought the caskets out and everyone stood up in respect. As you stood up your vision blurred and you held onto your chair for support. Luckily Spock didn’t see. Unfortunately, you had to stand for much longer than you realized. Your legs started to feel numb beneath you and you felt slightly light-headed.
You didn’t realize that everyone was looking at you until Spock pulled at your arm.
“What?” You asked, a blush creeping to your cheeks.
“Did you want to say a few words about your mother?” Jim asked from the front.
“Oh,” You said, looking down at your dirty boots, “No, not today, thanks,” Everyone looked back up toward Jim. You felt your face turn red from embarrassment. How had you not heard him talking to you?
You stumbled in place suddenly and grabbed onto Spock’s arm. Your head started to spin and you rubbed your eyes.
“We need to get Dr. McCoy,” Spock whispered from your side. You barely heard him.
“I’m fine,” You lied, still holding onto his arm. He pulled you out of the room and toward the medbay across the hallway.
“I said I’m fine,” you struggled against his grip. It was too late though. Before you knew it, your legs gave out and blackness took over.
