Shade Number Seven: GRATEFUL
’When I was down, you were always there to comfort me’ - ’A Song For Mama’ by Boyz II Men from the album ’Evolution’.
After minxing around in foreign states, I finally had to come home.
Kalgoorlie was super fun, though didn’t have enough attractions to keep a wily coyote like me busy. But it did have a place called the ‘Super Pit’. It’s the gigantic mining site, where they dig for GOLD.
Apparently they only dig up the equivalent of a matchstick per day or something, which doesn’t really seem like a lot for all the work that they have to do to get it. I’ve probably got it all wrong, as previously mentioned, I am a terrible listener.
Anyway, after a few days and a marathon of movies, it was time to relocate to Perth for a few days! Weeeeee!
It’s so nice to be in a city, I like to pretend to be a lean, mean, country machine, but I am a bigger, thicker, city slicker.
I spent a few days hanging out with my cousins and then my cousins wife and their kids who were HYSTERICAL. A more intense game of 'Paper, Scissors, Rock’ you will never see played. They jump and have these wicked sound effects. Also, I’m pretty sure the winner gets a free shot at the other ones face.
I had an amazing time with one of my favourite previous work friends and her giant horse which she tries to disguise as a dog. Seriously hun, that dog is GIGANTIC.
But even I know that being a lady of leisure in a foreign state can’t go on forever. Employment is hopefully calling and I should really try and be in the same state as the phone.
So I booked my flight home and against my insistence, Mama waswaiting at the airport with a giant smile on her face and an excitement to see me home.
We walked in the door and Mum came into my mess of a room which was still as terrible as I left it. She sat down and laughed as I recounted my outback safari, complete with dance moves and hideous facial expressions. I was merely trying to convey the horror of seeing dead kangaroos on every corner for four days straight.
Also, I had to show her how I owned my cousins from the West in a dance battle by dropping the twerking splits. They were not ready for that.
Twerking while having your legs pointing in opposite directions will get you out of many sticky situations, it’s also a real crowd pleaser. Take notes Beyonce, I’ve yet to see you do this.
Mother wasn’t impressed, because she is confident that she raised me better. Like always, she’s right.
After our quick catch up, Mama went to bed and we agreed to talk more in the morning.
I didn’t rise from the dead until after 12pm and the house was a ghost town.
Mum had already left the house to do something with my younger sister. So I slothed around, eating everything I could find and just enjoying being in familiar surroundings.
Having spent the last four years flying all over the place, spending weeks in hotels away from home, it makes you appreciate little things like your bed and your room, but then also big and amazing things, like a packed fridge and goody filled cupboards.
My older sister came through the front door with my baby nephew and we sat down with coffees and face masks and I began to tell her about the great 'Straya outback road trip extravaganza.
All of sudden our younger sister shows up and comes into the kitchen where we are sitting and quietly listens to our conversation. She is fidgeting, and pushing her thumbs together. This is her tell-tale sign that she has done something naughty.
When I’m in trouble, I purse my lips and get all this tension in my neck. It’s so I look fierce and I have a theory that fierce people don’t get in trouble. Have you ever seen anyone try and put Naomi Campbell in her place? But to be honest, I think I was probably a frill-neck lizard in a past life and it’s just old reflexes flaring up.
Her voice is quiet and she tells us that while she was at lunch, Mum was with her son in the playground and as her little boy has climbed out, Mum has followed and she has fallen and hit her head on a Ronald McDonald statue.
I instantly feel my body freeze. Frozen. Every piece of warmth instantly leaves my body.
She tells us that Mum was dazed and she could tell something was wrong. Mama could not speak and so she took her to the hospital, where they took her in straight away. I feel sick as she tells us that she has cords hooked up to her chest and they’re monitoring her heart to ensure she hasn’t had a stroke.
My heart breaks when she tells me that Mum won’t stop crying.
Dad is waiting with her and she tells us that we can’t go up as they’re still in emergency, there is no room and there is no use in us being there, we simply have to wait it out at home.
She also informs us that Mum needs to go for a scan to see that there is no internal brain damage.
Gravity has a very strange way of becoming incredibly strong when you hear news like this.
I look up at my older sister and she is pushing her hair behind her ears and clearing her throat. I wonder if I looked panicked too, the veins on my neck have probably exploded.
I quickly remind myself that I need to stay calm and I need to be strong. We all need to be strong. We also need to never watch a medical drama again, because our imaginations are out of control.
We all sit at the table in silence, before we finally speak and agree that she will be fine. Mum will most definitely be fine, she is Mum, she is invincible.
I quickly excuse myself to the bathroom to wash off my face mask and it’s here that I notice that I am shaking. I proceed to wash my face mask off, making sure that I get behind my ears. Mum said I always have to wash behind my ears or they’ll go gross and it’s important to look after yourself.
I stare at my shaking hands and remember a conversation that Aunty Mary and I had while driving in the desert. She said if her Mother was still around, there is so much she would say and like to share with her. She told me how sad she was that she didn’t do more of this while she was alive.
I feel a stab of guilt as I think back to the last time I had been with my Mum. I had spent all my time talking about myself and all the stupid things that I had done while I was off gallivanting, that I hadn’t taken the time to ask Mama how she was.
I made a promise to myself to tell Mum how special she was and how grateful I am to her, but to also take the time to talk with her more, because this was a wake up call, you only get so much time with your Mother.
I walked outside to get some fresh air and I felt myself begin to panic. You never ever think that anything like this will happen to your parents. They are the heroes of your youth, they do not falter, they get through anything.
I spent that whole day in a daze, nothing seemed important, nothing seemed interesting. All I wanted was for my mother to come home.
I thought about taking a sledgehammer to every Ronald McDonald statue in a 100km radius, but ultimately decided that Mum would be displeased if she came out of hospital and found out I was in jail for public nuisance.
That’s all I’d get charged for, I definitely don’t have the upper body strength to do any real damage to a statue. I’d probably break my arm just trying to get the sledgehammer out of the garage.
We got really lucky that day, Mum was released that afternoon, slightly shaken, bruised and a bit disorientated, but otherwise fine.
I sat down next to her on the couch, held her hand and just stared at my wonderful mother.
I know you read these blogs, so let me leave you these quick notes Mama.
Thank you for everything.
Thank you for all the hours you spent waiting for me while I somersaulted around the public library looking for more books to read.
Thank you for saving me Marshmellow squares because you knew they were my favourite.
Thank you for teaching me the impact of kind words and deeds.
Thank you for the safe environment where I was allowed to be anything I wanted to be.
Thank you for encouraging me to fight my own battles and that no one is better than anyone else.
There is no right way to be a parent, many people refer to their mother as being their 'rock’ or foundation, but I would like to thank my mother for being my wings.
The best way for me to honour everything you have done for me is to fly as high as I can.
Love you Mama, stay off the damn playground! xxxxxx
’Mama I love you, Mama my friend’ - ’Mama’ by The Spice Girls, from the album ’Spice’.
