Imaginary ad campaign
I've got this whole mental ad campaign for an imaginary milk substitute. Could be soy, almond, oat, whatever. Let's call it Soyo, it's imaginary anyway.
So this cow comes into a career development office, on her hind legs, dressed in a pink business suit with a hat and a small purse. She sits down in front of the woman who will help her find a job, and tells her that ever since Soyo came out on the market, the demand for cow milk has dropped, because Soyo is blah blah blah marketing copy better than cow milk, so she's lost her job at the farm and she needs new work.
The woman asks her if she's any good with computers. Flashback to the cow, seated in a chair, trying to type on a keyboard with her hooves and failing. She ends up smashing the keyboard in frustration.
Cut back to the career development office. The cow says nervously, "I've always been better with working with people."
A voice over starts about the benefits of Soyo milk substitute, but about a sentence and a half through it, the announcer interrupts themselves. "Is that for me? This isn't a good time, I'm in the middle of -- wait. How much did my great uncle leave me?... Oh my god I'm a billionnaire! Well, all right then! Love ya, Soyo, but I'm outta here, I'm gonna go buy a new house on a tropical island and never work again!" During this whole thing, we see images and writing about Soyo milk substitute, but the announcer is otherwise occupied so the voiceover doesn't match.
Back to the career development office. The agent looks at her computer, then back at the cow, and smiles brightly. "Well, it looks like a position for a spokesperson for Soyo milk substitute has just opened up!" She leans forward. "Or maybe... a spokescow?"
Image of the milk substitute. The cow is doing the voiceover. "Soyo! It's so good, it cost me my job."
The rest of the series has the cow in various situations a la the Geico gecko or the Liberty Mutual guy and his emu friend, doing spokescow things for Soyo, except she can never quite get over the bitterness about it so she's saying things like, "People tell me that Soyo is so great, they're never going to drink cow milk again! Well, that's fine, that's their prerogative... nobody needs to drink cow milk... it's not like that's going to put cows out of work or anything..." She is always wearing human clothes and dressed like your grandma (or great grandma, we're talking 40's and 50's) going to a business event. Women's business suits with skirts, in pastel colors, with matching hats and small purses. Sometimes some tasteful pearls.
