I didn't know that I needed it until it was mentioned but now I need hcs for Jack Black + TOG 😂
jack black plays an eccentric bookstore owner who finds the immortals holed up in the attic of the store because it was an old safehouse and they needed an urgent place to lay low
completely disregards the immense amount of blood on their clothes and immediately asks if they’re okay and if they need a place to stay
there’s a small apartment above the bookstore they can stay in
they accept because it’s going to take a few days to get back into contact with copley and to find a new safehouse nearby
shows them to the apartment and asks if they need anything and says he’ll bring some groceries over for them and apologizes for the fact that there is only two beds, but mentions there’s a pullout couch
everyone already knows booker gets the couch while the others take the beds, mr.ihatemyfuckingspine
comes back while they’re all still standing there very confused about who the fuck this man is and he opens the bags and takes out vegetables and meats and shows them where the pans are
takes a look at all the weapons they’re holding (still covered in some blood) and says ‘oh i have something you can clean those with’ and hands them some rags and alcohol to wipe of their swords
then shows them a small closet in the hall where they can put them down
turns back around while they stow their 50 swords and guns in the closet and tells them to ask if they need anything before leaving
the bookstore is only moderately popular, it’s not usually extremely busy so they’re able to slip out once in a while to make arrangements and contact copley
randomly knocks and comes in with tea and snacks while they’re sitting around the table with various maps
never says anything about the knives or the guns
compliments joe on his drawings and tells him and nicky how cute they are together
didn’t come upstairs the several times he’s heard gunshots (nothing was wrong but booker and nicky got into an argument over the scrabble game and nicky grabbed the gun before anyone could stop him)
makes weirdly vague immortal jokes
one day they come back while he’s closing up and they stop to help a little bit
and he tells them how sweet young people they are which earns him nervous laughter and booker saying, ‘maybe not as young as you think’
and he just replies, ‘well you guys don’t look a day over 500′ and walks to the back storeroom
none of them say anything for a moment and they don’t know whether he’s joking or if he actually knows
as previously mentioned, has seen booker fall to the sidewalk in the front of the store (they really shouldn’t play scrabble) and sees him lie still on the ground with blood pooling on the sidewalk and his arms twisted at odd angles while laughter sounds from above
says nothing and simply goes back to where he stays behind the bookstore
sees booker the next morning and tells him, ‘you french are funny people, falling out of windows!’ and just laughs while booker and joe exchange confused looks
they’ve stayed with him longer than they meant to because they like him, he brings them snacks he makes and recommends books and joe and booker admire his classics collection
tells them how ‘ruggedly’ stylish they all are, and asks if the holes in their shirts are the fashion now (they’re bullet holes)
one day literally asks them if they are reenactors and gestures to the weapons in their hands
nicky reflexively says yes and that’s how they end up “recreating” an ancient battle scene at three in the morning which ends in a bookshelf overthrown as nicky got wayy too into it
nile always panics when he talks to her because she never knows what to say, not used to having to lie about her life all the time and always tries to come up with stupid excuses for the blood trails and furniture scuffs while the others don’t even bother
one day someone comes in looking for them and like a good guy tells them he’s never seen them before despite the many photos they have of the guard entering the bookstore
he tells the guard this the day after when they come back and mentions the ‘bad guy’ that came looking for them, but laughs it off saying ‘i don’t know what men like that are looking for such sweet history lovers for, must be confused’
the guard one day disappears without a trace and he says nothing and thinks nothing of it, putting the key they left on the desk back in his pocket
once in a while he gets strange packages with handwritten recipes for snacks he’s never heard of and books he should put in the store
