seen from Morocco
seen from Russia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Australia
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Spain
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Australia
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Estonia
seen from Chile
seen from Paraguay
Medicine After The Damage Is Done
The first time he struck me in the face back in August 2016, he was so “sorry” after all the stress I went through to live as a family with this bastard. He just arrived to the country and took ALL frustrations out on me and it continued for years as if I was a punching bag . He wanted so badly to treat me like a housemaid, put me down, and diminish my self esteem. He was soo abusive he caused my…
View On WordPress
A Wall of Silence
We haven't really spoken since Tuesday. I don't even know why. His boss is in town, so we went to dinner with him and his coworker. I thought it went well, overall. I didn't bring up anything too personal. My husband tapped my leg under the table once to signal I stop talking about something, but that was it. We drove his boss and coworker back to the hotel, and once they got out, he was silent. With the exception of telling me to do something, he has been since. I tried to break the silence. Multiple times I asked him to tell me why he was upset. Nothing. We came home and he went to bed without me.
He's working at the office this week, instead of home as usual. Tuesday morning, I helped him get ready - filled his water bottle, made breakfast, packed snacks. Everything was fine. He wanted to be there around 8am, so I made sure I was sure to be ready to drop him off. He got a DUI before our wedding a few months ago, and I've been his chauffeur while he doesn't have a license. We texted a few times through the day. I was excited because I got accepted into a freelance writing program and told him about it. Not surprisingly, he found ways to rain on my parade then criticized me for adding it to my LinkedIn profile. Before I picked him up at the end of the day, I had to stop at his doctor's office to pick up some documents. This made me about 10 minutes late to pick him up. He also got on me for the path I drove him to work in the morning, so I had to show him how complicated the path he chose was to drive home. His car might as well be a boat and it's too big for city streets. I nearly damaged it proving my point.
On the way home he shared with me that one of his boss's referred to my sister as "creepy." For context, my husband invited his employers to our wedding as a way to show off. My sister has a mental disability and felt like she connected with this woman and her husband. From what I was told, they texted back and forth a few weeks before his boss ghosted my sister entirely. My sister had a lot going on, thought she had a new friend to talk to, and shared some intimate details about her life with this woman. I didn't know she had ghosted and he already told me to get my sister to stop talking to his boss four months ago. He's convinced anyone in my family speaking to people he works with will jeopardize his job. Turns out they haven't spoken in six months. This woman got in my husband's head about my sister being bad news and how getting caught up with her would just get him in trouble. This led to an argument where I got the classic "I told you so"... even though this happened before I asked my sister to find other friends.
Once we got through that argument and I was able to convince him that his boss was in the wrong (who holds on to stuff like that for six months?), he informed me we were going out. I changed my clothes and tried to style my hair. I liked what I did with my hair, but he made it clear he didn't. "What do you think of your hair right now," he asked with a shit-eating grin.
"I can't do much with it, but I think it's okay. Why?"
"Okay, sure. If you like it then... let's go?"
"What's wrong with my hair? You should let me know if it looks bad. I don't want to look stupid."
"No, baby. You said you don't like being told what to do, so I am keeping my opinion to myself."
"Dude, just fix whatever it is. Otherwise I'll be thinking about it all night."
He proceeded to comb over my hair in what I can only describe as a "classic Karen do". Then he kept asking about the jacket I was wearing. His implication was that I purchased it without his knowledge. I actually bought it years ago from a company that no longer makes anything other than swimsuits. I had to prove it to him by showing the tag and the company website.
When we were leaving, I asked him to confirm the address we were picking up his boss from more than once. He then decided we should stop and get his boss a gift on the way. There were no gift shops along the way, and the one he wanted was ten minutes in the wrong direction. After we determined there wasn't enough time, I asked why we didn't get something sooner when he knew his boss was coming for weeks. He just said, "Because I'm dumb," and I told him that wasn't an appropriate answer. Once we arrived at the hotel, his boss informs him that we are not at the correct place and gave us the address I had asked for. I have become more bold in my confrontations with him so he can see his own behavior. I pointed out to my husband that if this had been the other way around, him driving and me giving directions, he would have been livid. I was annoyed, but not mad. Even so, he opted to minimize my feelings. As we were driving, he started a bizarre conversation with me. He asked, "What is your greatest life accomplishment to date?" I know he was baiting me to say something along the lines of being married to him, but I was still annoyed, so I gave an honest answer.
"My greatest accomplishment is failing to kill myself."
He used this as an opportunity to open an entirely inappropriate conversation about my suicidal history, which ended with him calling my trauma "garbage." It was another reminder of how out of touch with mental health wellness he is.
Once his boss was in the car, the conversation pivoted, and now we're back to the beginning of this story. The next morning, we had a brief conversation. He was annoyed I didn't repeat what I did the morning before. "What? No breakfast?"
"You didn't ask. Besides, I thought we were leaving an hour ago."
"Didn't you hear them talking at the table? I don't need to be in until 9."
"Sure, I heard them say they were going at 9, but you didn't confirm that you were going at 9. Last we discussed, you said, 'same time tomorrow.'"
From there, he grabbed a granola bar, and I drove him to work in silence. The only other time he spoke to me was when he text me to let me know he got a ride home from his coworker, and decided to order food. I had an evening workshop anyway. For the rest of the evening he was on the phone with a friend, whom he had me talk to, and then watched tv in our bedroom while I tried to sleep. I have been working to get up earlier in the morning, but he does things to try and sabotage my routine.
Today is day three of stonewalling. The only words he spoke were to confirm I was taking him to work this morning. I specifically didn't play music in hopes it would prompt him to say something. I have plans with my mother this evening. I'm sure he will either be in bed or drunk by the time I get home. This round is sitting in second place as far as time unspoken goes. First place is still the time he told me my time is not as valuable as his, which is why I should take care of all the chores in addition to my forty hour work week. That's a story for another day.
Keep shining,
D
Diary of A Wife in Chaos
Welcome to "Diary of A Wife in Chaos," a personal blog where I share my journey as a wife trying to navigate life amidst spousal abuse. Through my blog, I hope to provide a safe space for others who are struggling with similar challenges and to raise awareness about the devastating effects of domestic violence.
As a wife, I have faced numerous challenges in my personal and professional life, including spousal abuse. I know firsthand the toll it takes on one's physical, emotional, and mental health. Through my writing, I hope to share my personal experiences and reflections on how I have coped and found strength during difficult times.
This blog is a space for vulnerability and candid reflection. I believe that by sharing our stories, we can inspire and empower others who are going through similar experiences. I hope to create a community of support, where we can share resources and insights to help each other heal and move forward.
I am grateful for this opportunity to share my story and to connect with others who are navigating similar challenges. I invite you to join me on this journey, to share your own experiences, and to find hope and inspiration in our collective strength and resilience.
Thank you for reading, and I look forward to sharing more with you.
Keep shining,
D
The first time he struck me in the face back in August 2016, he was so “sorry” after all the stress I went through to live as a family with this bastard. He just arrived to the country and took ALL frustrations out on me and it continued for years as if I was a punching bag . He wanted so badly to treat me like a housemaid, put me down, and diminish my self esteem. He was soo abusive he caused my first miscarriage by pummeling my on the bed to the extent my son had to call my younger brother pull him off me . He didn’t care I lost the baby he didn’t care to return back to the country at all. During the next pregnancy after the miscarriage he kicked me in the stomach during a disagreement. He is nothing short of an animal and very sick in the head. #spousalabuse #womenempowerment #womanbeater #childabuse #instablog9ja #gistloverblog https://www.instagram.com/p/CQ3m9JvjYkQ/?utm_medium=tumblr
#Stalkers #FamilyPrograms #CBSEntertainmentProductions #TrueCrime #SpousalAbuse #PhillyDocumentary #Firefighters #911Dispatchers #911FatalAttraction #WilliamShatner #InternationalFamilyEntertainmentCompany #ArnoldShapiroProductions #PhiladelphiaFireDepartment #MTM #Rescue911 #EMTs https://www.instagram.com/p/CX1O2VolW7wXEpTqE8YaS8FLFSyCPK-nqDXFHA0/?utm_medium=tumblr
#Stalkers #FamilyPrograms #CBSEntertainmentProductions #TrueCrime #SpousalAbuse #PhillyDocumentary #Firefighters #911Dispatchers #911FatalAttraction #WilliamShatner #InternationalFamilyEntertainmentCompany #ArnoldShapiroProductions #PhiladelphiaFireDepartment #MTM #Rescue911 #EMTs https://www.instagram.com/p/CX1OuszFCFFSNnk95VHyv-OMYeHjA3jhGhTtOo0/?utm_medium=tumblr
#Stalkers #FamilyPrograms #CBSEntertainmentProductions #TrueCrime #SpousalAbuse #PhillyDocumentary #Firefighters #911Dispatchers #911FatalAttraction #WilliamShatner #InternationalFamilyEntertainmentCompany #ArnoldShapiroProductions #PhiladelphiaFireDepartment #MTM #Rescue911 #EMTs #PhiladelphiaPA #July1st1990 https://www.instagram.com/p/CX1OVaVFXayQQkfWgloOE_gexrdSO7Bs4bzFUw0/?utm_medium=tumblr
#Stalkers #FamilyPrograms #CBSEntertainmentProductions #TrueCrime #SpousalAbuse #PhillyDocumentary #Firefighters #911Dispatchers #911FatalAttraction #WilliamShatner #InternationalFamilyEntertainmentCompany #ArnoldShapiroProductions #PhiladelphiaFireDepartment #MTM #Rescue911 #EMTs #July1st1990 #PhiladelphiaPA https://www.instagram.com/p/CX1OJ-dlkOcnbLz4QegusVHxsZ_zQ2bHbGNXvs0/?utm_medium=tumblr
