things i’ve learned at stanford
things are not always what they seem. you think you know who you are going to be in college and what you’re going to be good at and what you’re going to avoid, but you’re wrong.
Big and Momentous events are few and far between. it’s mainly a lot of filler that you have to mine for the important stuff (and what you think of as important in the moment may not be, and what you shrug off may come back to be huge).
the days are long, the weeks are short.
people say things they do not mean. they know they do not mean it. the ultimate challenge is not to take this personally.
just because someone is intelligent does not mean they are a good person.
conversely, just because someone is not the stereotypical version of intelligence does not mean they are not profoundly interesting and talented
you will learn a lot from people you have nothing in common with, but you will be closest to those with similarities. aim for a balance of both. if you can find someone who is similar to you in one key way (background, interests, personality, etc), but differs in the others, you will never run out of things to share.
you get used to things. weather below 65 degrees becomes cold. sights that brought you to your knees become ordinary. classmates that do astonishing things are commonplace. this will sometimes make you feel good, because it means you are familiar, but you also resent the parts of you and everyone else that takes all of it for granted.
a lot of organizations -- clubs, classes, jobs, internships -- don’t require a huge amount of skill, but they talk about it in a way that blows up their ego and makes them seem very important. you will wonder, “that’s it?” nothing is as official or gatekept as you think it is and you are more qualified than you think.
you’re only an impostor if you act like you are. you need to develop a sense of self or you will be eroded.
personal vulnerability is a cheat code to emotional closeness, especially to people who do not often talk about their feelings.
you cannot do everything. you cannot be everything. it’s zero sum in some ways because whatever you do means you are not doing something else. don’t put all your eggs in one basket, but also don’t put one egg in ten baskets. put most of your effort in a few things and develop those skills, and if you have any spare time left, look for outside fulfilling hobbies.
you will learn how to criticize and pinpoint what you do not like. other people will not like this, but you will get what you want.
some of your anxieties will go away, and you will develop new ones.
people will move on quicker than you wish they would. don’t expect too much from anyone, but don’t let that make you resent them.
jealousy is a toxic emotion.
college will make your real home less of a home. wherever you are, you miss somewhere else.
you’re all you’ve got. use it.
if many people don’t like something about you, consider whether it is worth changing. you are not objectively correct and you can be made better.
don’t build things up in your head. you will set yourself up for disappointment.
homes are not always stable communities, they can be a person, an action, a series of landscapes, yourself.
homes do not always keep you safe. you will not always keep yourself safe. sometimes you will not be aware of this.
people saying they care and showing it are wildly different.
reading can solve almost anything.
if you are struggling to find your passion, remember what you loved as a child before you were told what to love.
