« Binka's garden is new location in Springvale that the common folks have daily access to (it's a nice spot to rest and read a book). She planted the trees at younger age with the help of village folks... But it's still her that takes the time of her day to tend to the branches with almost tender care.
version without the text undercut!
also the friend inside me deltarune joke bc haha funny
Dude becomes a fucking surveillance camera to make sure Diona is safe, cause he KNOWS there are rapists and pedophile in the Fortress that would happily take advantage of her, so he would probably have her wear some kind of tracking system out of (reasonable) paranoia.
The other inmates (minor criminals) actually start to like Diona and start treating her well, and even Wolsey decides that she gets the better welfare meals. Like, she still has to pick a straw for her meal, but she doesn't get the bad ones anymore.
Wriothesley teaching Diona how to fight in hand to hand combate while Diona teaches him or gives random tips about hunting. I like to imagine Diona accidentally punching him in the nuts during one of their spars and he collapses to the ground groaning in pain while Diona panics. Sigewienne is just laughing the background.
Wriothesley seeing Diona getting harassed by an inmate, and before he can intervene, she just straight up decks him in the balls like she did to Wrio during their last spar before walking away, and he can't help but cry from being so proud of her.
Diona would definitely help out Sigewienne in the nurses office since she's a healer in the game, and Sigewienne would teach her better ways to heal people.
I think of the barret society was still there while Diona is there too, Dougier would definitely try to kidnap Diona and torture her into following him, and when Wriothesley inevitably finds out, he'd 100% torture Dougier in a much worse way. After comforting Diona, of course.
Wriothesley would send letters back to Mondstadt to let the authorities and/or her extended family know about what's happened, and once Diluc gets wind of it, he makes plans to fly over to Fontaine to check on her (because the knights can't even be trusted to do this), only for the residents of Springvale to come to him, asking if they can come with him or deliver letters for them.
When he arrives to Fontaine, he goes to Neuvillette and asks if he can see Diona, to witch he responds that "the Fortress of Meropide works independently from the Court of Fontaine, and I would usually suggest that the person asking to give up their endeavors. But given the unique circumstance of Miss Diona's case, and the Duke's relationship to her, I can at least send a letter to inform Wriothesley about your request "
Wriothesley accepts Diluc's request and he goes down to meet with Diona in his office, but when he gets there, it's just Wriothesley and no Diona in sight. Diluc starts getting defensive about the situation and start "subtly" demanding to know where she is. To which Wriothesley would respond with "she's here and will arrive shortly. I just wanted to prepare you in case she has a fit and runs out, considering how negatively she's talked about you."
Diona eventually comes in after Diluc and Wriothesley talk for a few minutes, and she's angry and defensive at first, but eventually apologizes about how she treated and talked to him, and Diluc says that he doesn't mind and understands why she said the things she did.
After the awkward greetings, Diona starts asking about Mondstadt and how her friends and extended family are doing, and Diluc gives honest replies, relieved that she seems to be at least safe within the Fortress.
Diluc hands over the small bag of letters from the residents of Springvale to Diona before leaving and waving goodbye, and Diona honestly starts to break down crying after he leaves from all the people that wrote to her. Wriothesley hugs and comforts her about it, happy that she has people who care about her (despite her shitty dad.)
Diluc and Wriothesley would definitely keep in contact, mostly to give Diluc updates about Diona, but also to try to get to know each other better. Wriothesley sends him tea from time to time, and Diluc send him grape juice.
Diona would definitely sneak past her curfew (cause Wriothesley would absolutely have one for her) just to see him fight in the Pankration Ring and kick serious ass. During one particularly challenging fight, he'd get hurt pretty bad, almost getting knocked out, and Diona screams to him "GET UP AND KICK HIS ASS, DAD!" without realizing it. After the fight, Wriothesley is stuck between scolding her for staying out late and crushing her in affection for calling him dad.
Found slide: Post Office float, with a postman character rather obviously repurposed from a late 1950s Moomba parade mascot float, in a suburban parade, Springvale, Naarm Melbourne, Kulin nation, circa 1962 (photographer unknown)
Two Perpetually Broke Geo Dudes Hike Up Dragonspine for the Deceptively Believable Commission Worth 500,000 Mora (Part III)
The Ordo Favonius have a whole lot to answer for once they finally wrap their heads around how Itto and Zhongli clowned a legitimate force. Somewhere, Diluc is smugly grinning into his glass of grape juice.
Part I, Part II
As it stands, Itto and Zhongli sit underneath the kiosk at a bit of a self-induced impasse, caught in between the reality of what they had done and the lack of a commission that the both of them can agree with. If one was to recap from the previous installment of this roller-coaster ride, it can simply be summarized as such: They tried diplomacy and diplomacy failed. Twice.
Itto: (thoughtfully) You know, I kinda get what Diluc was talking about now.
Zhongli: (turns to him, numbly) About what?
Itto: So you know how he's always like 'Knights of Favonius, always so bad at their jobs' and stuff like that, right?
Zhongli: (nods once, distressed) Mhm?
Itto: Well, the knights here kinda suck. Like, really suck. What kind of guy who's a 'knight' or whatever just runs away like that? (snorts) Not any knight that has any sorta pride anyway.
Zhongli: (exasperated) Itto. (lets out an uncharacteristic noise of worrying frustration) This is the fifth time you've assaulted a public officer this month.
Itto had best hope that Shinobu is well-versed in Mondstadt's criminal law. And yes, Zhongli still thinks he himself hasn't done anything wrong.
Itto: (defensively) Well, then maybe he shouldn't have done that to me! If anything, he's in the wrong for trying to arrest us for no reason!
Zhongli: (rubs his temples) That's not the point! More will come and actually arrest you!
Itto: (scoffs) So? They can try to arrest me. They couldn't even if they wanted to! In fact, they could bring their whole force and it still wouldn't be enough to take me down! (crosses his arms) Besides, the guys back over in Inazuma City would give me more of a fair fight than the 'Ordo Favonius' or whatever ever could.
Zhongli: (facepalms) (wearily) We were supposed to simply pay a debt . . .
Itto: (lightly shakes Zhongli's shoulders assuredly) Come on, we still can! In fact, we'll settle this mora thing right here and now!
Itto grabs a commission with the number '5000' on it and shows it to a genuinely relieved Zhongli.
Zhongli: (scans the title) 'Maintenance'? (nods) This will do.
Itto: (brightens) Okay then! (turns to Katheryne) We'll take this one.
Katheryne: (looks at the both of them carefully) You seem up to it, but your companion there . . .
Itto: Pfft! (boastfully) Gramps over here is as tough as nails and almost as tough as me! We'll be fine, no need to worry about us!
Zhongli: Yes. (formally) We hereby accept this commission and will do it to its completion. The contract is set.
Katheryne: Alright then. (hands them a map of the general area along with other documents) (automatically) Farewell, and thank you for supporting the Adventurers' Guild. (pauses) And good luck!
Itto: (salutes) Thanks! (nudges Zhongli) Ready to go?
Zhongli: (lightly pats Itto's shoulder) (strained) Sure. (to himself) The sooner we leave the city gates, the better our chances of actually completing our commission.
The two of them make their way towards the open gate, acknowledging Swan and Lawrence as if one of them didn't just embed a leading officer into a stone building moments before. They make it a ways over the bridge before the next problem arises. As if it was going to be easy going forward.
Timmie: Hey!
Zhongli: Hmm? (looks at the scattered feathers on the ground then back at the kid) What is it?
Timmie: You scared my pigeons away! (stomp foot with anger) You big, stupid, meanies always scare my friends away! (looks Itto in the eyes, indignant with tears)
Itto: (scratches the back of his head awkwardly) Ahh, sorry kid. I didn't mean to scare your birds away, but-
Timmie: (sniffles) You're . . . you're sorry? (looks to where the pigeons flew off) (starts to cry in earnest)
Zhongli: . . . (to himself) Help.
Contrary to popular belief, Zhongli is not naturally good with children. Hell, he's not even that good at passing himself off as human sometimes. So here, he is presented with the opportunity to watch a master at work.
Itto: (hisses under his breath) Crap. (quickly, but as gently as he can manage) Hey, hey kid, don't cry! (crouches to Timmie's level) I mean, it's not like the pigeons won't come back at some point, right?
Timmie: (sadly, still crying) I know . . . but . . .
Itto: You miss 'em, right?
Timmie: (nods, sniffling)
Itto: (somewhat exaggerated) Well, of course ya do! They're your friends. And since they're your friends, they probably miss you too!
Timmie: (sniffles) Really? (skeptically) Well, Mommy says that they won't be scared of me if I love them, but they can love me too?
Itto: (nods enthusiastically) Yep! And since they all love you so much, they'd probably hate to see you all upset like this, right?
Timmie: (nods) Uh huh. (sniffles again and starts wiping his tears)
Itto: (encouraging) There you go. (lightly ruffles Timmie's hair and gets up) Now I know this isn't making up for much of anything, but I really am sorry about scaring 'em off. In fact, here! (hands him a small sucker) Who knows, maybe they like candy, huh?
Timmie: (laughs a little at that) It's okay, mister. Just . . . try not to scare them away next time?
Itto: (salutes) Absolutely! And that’s- (winks) a promise from the one and oni! Tell your friends I said hi, okay?
Timmie: (smiles) Okay, mister! Bye!
Itto: (waves) Yup, see ya around. (makes his way towards Zhongli)
Zhongli: (blinks slowly as he meets Itto in stride) So-
Itto: (cuts him off) It's no problemo, Gramps! (grins) As long as you're with me, I've got your back.
Zhongli: (gratefully) Thank you.
They almost make it to the other side of the bridge before a retinue of knights pour over the bridge and then stop, making a gap between the two of them and the company. Timmie managed to make himself scarce seconds beforehand.
Knight #1: (shrill) There they are! (points in their direction) They're the ones who did it!
Itto: (groans loudly) By the Archons. (to Zhongli) We can't catch a break with these guys!
Zhongli: (eye twitches slightly) For once, I find that I am beginning to agree with you on this.
Knight #3: (marches a bit closer and bellows) If you come with us now the punishment will not be as severe, but if you do resist, we are authorized to use heavy force to apprehend you!
Zhongli: (exhales deeply, rubbing his temples)
Itto: (at the knight) Hey, what gives?! We just want to finish our commission-
In this instance, before both sides would engage, an icy and rather ticked-off presence makes itself known on the side of the bridge that teased freedom and the continuation of sloppily laid-out plans. For you see, the devil works hard, but Eula Lawrence works that much harder.
Eula: Halt! What is the meaning of all of this commotion? (snappish) Quickly.
Knight #3: (coughs into his fist) Ah, Captain Eula! (gestures in Itto and Zhongli's direction) These criminals have yet to be apprehended as they keep resisting arrest for a multitude of crimes.
Itto: (yells over him) That is not true! (to Eula) Look lady, I don't know who you are, but these guys obviously have the wrong idea! We're innocent!
Zhongli: (drily) You were innocent before you threw one of them into a wall.
Knight #3: (confirming nod) The officer has yet to wake up from the barrage.
Itto: . . . okay, maybe that part is true, but you can't get me over that because he made the move first! (to Zhongli) Whose side are you even on here, huh?!
Eula: Ah, I see the situation now. (raises her voice) Hark, vagabonds! If you will not go peacefully, then I shall have to deal with you myself. (summons her claymore) Prepare yourselves, lest you are unacquainted to the world of hurt you may find yourselves subject to if you resist.
Itto: (growls and turns to face Eula) You can try, but I ain't going nowhere. (stomps his foot, causing a small quake on the bridge)
Knights: (nervous muttering and shuffling)
Zhongli: (steps in front of Itto) (to Eula) I give you my sincerest apologies in advance, but we do not have the time for this. The more time that passes, the less time that we have to settle this pressing matter. (with authority) So we will be going now.
Itto: (confused) Wha- hey! If she wants a fight, she's getting one-
Zhongli: (firmly) Itto. The quicker we finish this (holds out the commission), the quicker we can be done with it and move on. (emphasized) Please.
Itto: (begins to protest, but uncharacteristically relents)
Zhongli: (with a finality more for himself than anyone else) Excuse my bluntness, but if you will not get out of our way, then I will simply move you out of the way.
Eula: (pauses, then scoffs) And who are you to be telling me as such with whatever authority you think you have? (lifts her nose) The audacity! (prepares to fight) No matter, because you'll be soon taken care of anyway.
Zhongli: (gravely nods) Very well.
The instant Zhongli had made it up in his mind to choose violence for the sake of his self-induced contract, he spreads out his arms, a visible force of elemental energy rippling off of him in waves and sending the knights tumbling down to the ground.
Eula stood fast, using her claymore lodged unceremoniously in between the cobblestone even as her body rocked and roiled with the sheer force pressed upon her body.
And, perhaps for the first time in his life, Itto is rendered speechless.
Knights: (groaning in pain on the ground)
Zhongli: (nods) I commend you for still standing after that. Not many can.
Eula: (hisses under her breath) Egad! (grits her teeth and pulls her claymore out of the cobblestone, breathing heavily) Well met, good sir! In other circumstances, I would acknowledge you and cross blades, but unfortunately, there is vengeance to be had, and I shall have it! (springs forward with her burst)
Zhongli: (exclaims) Solidify!
Some time after what happens next, Eula would simply remark that it was a misstep on her part and that under different circumstances, things would have come out to be much more decisive on either end.
In a twist that no one in Mondstadt could have ever seen coming, a pillar hewn of solid stone materialized not even five feet from it's caster's person. The impact of solid Geo meeting the burst as it detonated deafened everyone present save for Zhongli and Itto.
Eula, on the other hand, was violently struck in the sternum and the ribcage with the tip of the stele, the pillar springing up on the side and effectively catapulting her body up and over the side of the bridge, a giant splash indicating where she had landed.
Zhongli: (exhales) Well. (turns to Itto and says plainly) I understand that we may be in even more legal trouble now, but it couldn't be helped given the present situation. (claps the dust off of his hands) Shall we go?
Itto: (jaw still open in shock) (drawn-out exhalation)
Zhongli: (confused) Itto?
Itto: (clamps his jaw shut and begins to walk onto the path beyond the bridge)
Zhongli: (hums and meets him in step)
The two of them take a right on the main road, the sun already peaked and lazily making its way to the horizon. The two of them walked in a silence that was foreign to them as both would usually fill the uncharacteristic lack of noise with their musings and thoughts. At least until Itto finally breaks it.
Itto: (whips his head towards him) Holy smokes, Gramps! (directly in his face) That was seriously awesome! (grins widely) I mean, you are kinda awesome . . . sometimes, but woooo this was something else!
Zhongli: (blinks, startled) Wha-
Itto: (grabs him by the shoulders and shakes him) You never told me that Geo Vision holders could do any of that! The way that you went all (imitates quaking) and then (imitates pillar) and everything! That was seriously badass! (suddenly frowns) Hey, are you holding out on me or somethin'? (whines) Dammit, Gramps, I thought we were bros!
Zhongli: I- (coughs awkwardly) Firstly-
Itto: (leans that much closer into Zhongli's face) Teach me everything you know.
Zhongli: (raises his hands to Itto's shoulders and shakes them once) Arataki Itto.
Itto: (suddenly stops) Oh! (steps away and places his hands on the side guiltily) Sorry, but it was really cool-
Zhongli: (puts his open palms up) Oh no, don't apologize for that. (fondly, but firmly) It gladdens me to see you so excited, but please-
Itto: (perks up a bit) I get it, I get it, but still-
Zhongli: (laughs breathily) I don't mind your physical affections at all Itto, but a warning in advance would set me at ease.
Itto: (nods) Got it. Totally gonna remember that, shove it into my brain and make it stick, got it. (coughs into his fist) Anyway-
While the two of them struck up a lively conversation for the next few hours, they took a wrong turn on the fork that would've pointed them to Dragonspine provided they took a right instead of a left, leading them into the village of Springvale.
Itto: -and we're finally . . . here? (looks around) Huh. I don't see any mountains. Mondstadters are weird.
Zhongli: (turns to Dragonspine in the distance) (turns back to Itto) I have seen many a strange thing in my lifetime, but I am certain that this small village isn't Dragonspine.
Itto: (nods) Yeah. Besides, it isn't really that cold.
Zhongli: Well, while we're here, we might as well take the opportunity to understand this commission a bit more. (takes out the commission) Come, I'll find us both a place to sit.
They find a place to sit underneath the structure near Brook's residence.
Itto: (whines) Ugh, Gramps! Couldn't you have found us another place to sit? (stomach growls) All I can smell are those steaks . . .
Zhongli: (sighs) I understand, but- (stomach growls louder) (sighs) It is a shame that we do not have the funds for some food.
Itto: (groans loudly) (braces his hands on his knees, hearing the sound of mora in his pocket) (smile) Hey!
Zhongli: Hmm?
Itto: (pulls out his moneybag) We've still got somethin'!
Zhongli: (surprised) Well, that was genuinely unexpected. (small smile) Shall we satisfy our appetites?
The same mora that was supposed to be left at the Good Hunter was instead used for Brook's steaks at the discounted price of 750 mora for two. The steaks were good and served to replenish them as they finally decided to read the fine print of the commission they had grabbed.
Zhongli: (head hanging low in his hands) We were scammed, Itto.
Itto: (protests) How? All we gotta do is check on some beacons, kill a boar for meat, find some teeth, and then we're done!
Zhongli: (lifts his head up to glare at him) For the price of 5000 mora? Only 5000 mora? (shakes his head) It is a rather terrible idea to attempt this commission for such a small sum.
Itto: (shrugs) I mean, I guess so. 5000's what we need, isn't it?
Zhongli: (looks up shamefully) And to think that I actually obligated myself to make that contract in the first place . . .
Itto: (nudges his body) Come on, Gramps, it's easy-peasy and kinda interesting! Besides, you'll be able to say that you climbed to the top of Dragonspine, eh? (boastfully) Arataki 'Conqueror of Dragonspine' Itto does have a nice ring to it after all.
Zhongli: (sighs) I suppose. Now to see about the remainder of what the commission says . . .
Itto: (looms over his shoulder to see)
"Upon the completion of this commission and the retrieval of the items requested, the adventurers shall be allowed to keep 25% of any treasures and valuables (i.e. coin, gems, ores, crystals) they may happen to find, any spoils from monsters and beasts they may encounter, as well as . . ."
Zhongli & Itto: " . . . the additional sum of 500,000 mora."
Itto: (looks at Zhongli, dumbfounded) Did . . . did you read that too?
Zhongli: (looks at Itto, also rendered dumbfounded) I . . . yes, yes I did.
Itto: (mutters, shocked) 500,000 mora . . . (laughs a little)
Zhongli: (tries to hold back his snorts as his shoulders shake) Yes . . . well that commission makes sense now . . .
Itto: (shoots up) (eardrum-breaking shriek) 500,000 MORA!! (laughs freely with pure bliss)
Zhongli: (gives in and genuinely laughs along with Itto) (joyfully) 500,000! And to think I was so obtuse because of a few zeroes- (starts to cackle with glee)
Itto: (puts both of his hands up) Put 'em here, Gramps!
Zhongli: (gets up and gladly gives him the high-five)
Itto: (grabs one of his hands and pulls him in, squeezing tightly while spinning them around, still laughing) I can't believe it!
Zhongli: (returns the hug enthusiastically, laughing too hard to speak)
After they collapsed onto the ground in a wheezing, laughing heap, they promptly used the rest of Itto's 4000 mora to haggle two long coats, a giant backpack, and some basic supplies and foodstuffs out of the general store as well as a night's rest at the local inn.
The next day early in the morning, they left Springvale and in a matter of a few hours, made it down the road that led up to Dragonspine, easily taking care of the hilichurls on the bridge, and now stand at the edge of its base.
Zhongli: It seems that we have arrived at our destination. (blinks as a snowflake falls onto his nose, musing) How interesting, that even at the height of the summer, the mount remains cold and covered with snow . . .
Itto: (also musing mischievously) Yeah, you can pretty much have unlimited snowball fights here . . .
Zhongli: (without missing a beat) Do so, and I will not hesitate to call upon you the Wrath of the Rock.
Itto: (raises his palms in surrender) Alright, Gramps, geez! (mutters) Way to spoil the fun before it even starts.
Zhongli: (nods) Hmph. There shall be plenty of time for such frivolous things after we finish this commission and pay the Good Hunter back.
Itto: (rubs his hands in anticipation) Alright! (points at the mount and declares) You better bring your A-game, Dragonspine, because Arataki 'Numero Uno' Itto is gonna kick your ass! (pauses) Oh, and my buddy here will absolutely rock your shit! Literally!
Zhongli: (smiles as he meets him in stride) Onward and upward.
---
Yeah, I decided that Timmie had suffered at the hands of the fandom for long enough. Keep scrolling. His backstory is depressing and once the bomb drops that his daddy's dead, what the hell is he gonna do? Y'all clown on an orphan just to showcase your built characters. For shame.
For the gear they grabbed, Zhongli has the map and his coat reaches below his knees. Imagine that Itto's coat isn't big enough to button up. So yes, he still has his chest out. He is also the designated pack person, so he has everything else, including the giant backpack. Think Klee's in proportion to her body except for a bit smaller. And the only argument that I can offer for Itto's characterization here is this: HE 👏 HAS 👏 THE 👏 MOTHER 👏 FUCKING 👏 RANGE.
There's a lot happening here as this is the longest installment that I currently have for this series of mine. I don't know when this series is gonna end because all I know is that I'm having a goddamn blast. It's over when it decides it's over. May Barbatos have mercy on Dragonspine's wig, because it is guaranteed to get snatched and fly to Celestia.
(inspired by the aforementioned commentary concerning this topic and this collection of headcanons)
Diluc probably got annoyed that his winery became one of the location. The yelling, the kids climbing up his winery's wall, not to mention the footsteps on the roof and the players flying around. Let's not forget the poor grapevines being trampled over.
2. Qingce village
Well, only old people here, and the game was kn the field, not the village proper. So it's fine. Unless you are the one house within the game field, then you probably have people climbing up the trees or your rooftop.
3. Springvale (I forgot, is this the right name?)
Literally the entire village was the gamefield. From the windmill, to the spring, to the village's house. The people here seems rather relaxed, so I think they'll enjoy watching the players chasing each other or hiding in random place.
4. Wuwang hill
No people here, but the spirits hanging around here probably making a bet on which ridiculous hiding place the rebels found.
Spirit 1: Oh, new batch of player
Spirit 2: Is that, lord Rex Lapis?
Spirit 1: Sshh, we don't mention that. Let him play, he is retired now
Spirit 2: I can see his butt....
Spirit 1: Ssssshhhhhhh
3. Dragonspine
The players probably cursed whoever make this place a game area. It's cold, then there is water which makes it extra cold. The good hiding place was far away from the fire. It legit the worst place to play. They still play anyway.
