#sqh: ...

[disgracefulthings]

Yue Qingyuan: It appears that Shang Qinghua has been in cahoots with demons for years

Mu Qingfang, mumbling: I could've told you that

Yue Qingyuan: In response, he has been banished from the sect

Mu Qingfang: What?! You can't do this, sect leader!

Yue Qingyuan: I know, he's a hard worker and has done many things for the sect, and it will mean more work for us all, but-

Mu Qingfang: How am I supposed to get by without the demonic weed he supplies me!!

Yue Qingyuan: ... what?

Mu Qingfang: You think I can do this job sober? No, the amount of bullshit and stress you all put on me can only be tolerated because of that supply

Yue Qingyuan: I'm sorry, shidi, but there's nothing we can do

Mu Qingfang: Yes there is! We can turn a blind eye to Shang-shixiong's demonic boyfriend just like how you turned a blind eye to Shen-shixiong abusing his students years ago

Yue Qingyuan: Shidi! That is uncalled for!

Mu Qingfang: Another reason why I should have my weed!

[disgracefulthings]

You know what I haven't seen yet?

Shang Qinghua adopts Shen Yuan AU

I have read at least one fic where Shen Yuan is Shang Qinghua's biological son, but let's change things up

In this AU, the system just spits out a baby in front of Shang Qinghua and it's like: new mission, raise baby. Shang Qinghua is like 'wtf is this', and the system reveals it's Peerless Cucumber. Shang Qinghua is 100% on board because that's his fave anti, but he's also freaking out because he knows nothing about raising a child, and going by experience of being transmigrated into a baby, he knows it will take a while before Peerless Cucumber becomes aware of himself

So Shang Qinghua quickly buys a bunch of baby stuff and spends the entire day reading up on child raising with lil PC in his arms (after asking, the system reveals his name was Shen Yuan, so in this world he decides to call him Shang Yuan for the time being).

I'm not sure where I would take this fic after this (I'm not planning on writing this anyway), but I imagine the rest of the fic is SQH being a nervous dad, SY being a shitty son at first knowing his dad is Airplane, but growing to appreciate him, and of course a lot of shenanigans involving the other Peak Lords and Mobei-Jun

[disgracefulthings]

Mobei-Jun, internally as he enters his room: My relationship with Qinghua is still pretty new. He's really skittish so I should take it slow and make sure not to pressure him into anything. Maybe by the end of the week he will allow me to hold his hands

Shang Qinghua, naked on his bed: So we gonna fuck or what?

[disgracefulthings]

Luo Binghe: Shang-Shishu, my Shizun mentioned something called a 'cat girl'. I need to know what it is and why it's taking my Shizun's attention!

Shang Qinghua: Well it's a girl with cat ears, a tail, and claws

Luo Binghe: That's it? What is so special about 'cat girls' that has my Shizun so intrigued?

Shang Qinghua: Well you see, hmmm. Ok, close your eyes

Luo Binghe, reluctantly closing his eyes: Ok?

Shang Qinghua: Now imagine your Shizun, and think about how he would look if he had cat ears and a cat tail

Luo Binghe, instantly opening his eyes: I understand completely. How can I do that to Shizun?

Shang Qinghua, scheming: Well, I might know of a couple of plants that could help...