I ordered some cube-shaped molds, tripled the amount of gelatin, and increased the sauce:pasta ratio. And just like in canon, they’re completely inedible AND they bounce.
The most edible cube by a mile is the one that only had one packet of gelatin in it. In contrast, I could only make myself take one bite of the two-packet cube, and the one made of blended up spaghetti felt like eating rubber with sand mixed into it. I didn’t even try the three-packet cube (it is the bouncing cube pictured above).
None of them had much flavor beyond a vague impression of tomato sauce, and I could actually taste the gelatin in the two-packet cube. Compared to my previous square spaghetti attempt (which yielded shockingly edible results), I think this round is a rousing success at recreating the cubes Arthur probably made.
I’ve been haunted by the thought of square spaghetti since I heard about it from the kimulacrum. I’m sure many of you can relate. So after brainstorming with @probablylilly, I decided to give making square spaghetti a shot. Process and result below 👇
How to make square spaghetti
1. Choose your fighters. So although there are nearly an infinite number of ways to eventually arrive at square spaghetti (many of which I plan on attempting), I decided to go for a simple and low-cost method: gelatin and using a knife to cut the resulting spaghetti loaf into cubes (mostly because I think that’s what Arthur would realistically have had access to)(also I don’t have cube-shaped baking molds)
2. Acquire materials. Also gleefully explain what you are up to to anyone who will listen (optional)
3. Boil spaghetti. Make more than you think you’ll need. I ended up using a little more than a pound
4. Puree sauce until it’s silky smooth (I used the nutribullet I normally use to puree my cat’s wet food, but any blender will do). This step isn’t strictly necessary but I thought it might help the end product be more cohesive. I used about 16oz of sauce
(I forgot to get a picture of this step so please use your imagination)
5. Bloom gelatin in hot water. I used a ratio of about 1 packet gelatin:1 cup total liquid (total liquid=hot water+pureed sauce). It smells NASTY so be warned 🫵
6. Pour hot gelatin mixture into the same nutribullet cup as the sauce, then pour all that into a bowl instead and whisk it together by hand because you suddenly remembered what happened last time you tried to blend something hot in the nutribullet (explosion)
7. Combine everything in a mold of your choice like some kind of perverted jello salad. Just make sure it’s tall enough to yield a decently sized cube
8. Let it set (I recommend 4+ hours in the fridge) and then extract the resulting spaghetti loaf
9. Cut into cubes and profit
Conclusions:
Overall, the final result isn’t as clean-looking as I hoped it would be, and it was SHOCKINGLY edible. The texture was actually completely fine—the worst part about it was that it was cold. I think I could easily double or even triple the amount of gelatin in there without really adversely affecting the texture tbh. I’ve been eating the cubes for two days straight now because this method makes SO MUCH. Be prepared for the spaghettipocalypse to hit your kitchen if you try this.
I have no idea what Arthur did to make his square spaghetti so unpalatable, but I plan on experimenting until I create an abomination 😈 I have already ordered cube shaped baking molds so I can continue my experiments.
I will keep y’all up to date on spaghettiquest as more updates arise.
