#squid here

[ckret2]

I went to Reddit to see if the mpreg comics had been posted and I’m losing it over the global political situation in Blue’s Clues

i'm glad SOMEBODY appreciates the blue's clues political situation

i really shoulda just posed that question to tumblr instead of reddit, reddit didn't wanna play

[ckret2]

How about Scaramouche in general?

thanks for indulging my obvious baiting to get someone to ask about my Scaramouche headcanons, sorry it took me two days to write lmao. This ended up being a quick overview of his life all the way from being designed to the moment he decides picking a fight with Jack is a wise life choice.

so first to recap the headcanons I've already mentioned: Scaramouche's robot line was based off the X-model. Since the X-49 experiment found that the robot with emotions was a better killer and survived longer, Scaramouche's line got emotions.

Since X-49 held back and eventually retired due to guilt and a developing conscience, Scaramouche's line didn't get remorse or a conscience. It's no coincidence that he's Scaramouche the Merciless.

Since X-49 could be motivated to battle by loyalty/love/devotion, Scara's line kept the capacity for emotional attachments; but they don't want the bots bringing home stray dogs or eloping with some cute waitress bot, so they came pre-programmed with absolute loyalty... to Aku.

As far as we can see, Scaramouche's only ambition is to become and then remain Aku's #1 assassin. He mentions he'll get paid but he doesn't act motivated by the pay. We don't see him demonstrate any goals outside "do the thing Aku would want"—not even "do what Aku would want (so that I can get what I want)." What he wants is to do what Aku wants him to. That's aaall preprogrammed, baby.

Since this means his line was designed after Aku was told about the experiment with X-49, Scaramouche is somewhere under 50 years old.

in another recent post I mentioned that, since Aku's self-declared title is shogun of sorrow, it stands to reason that at some point he had an army of samurai, since that's literally what "shogun" means. Samurai were his thing until Jack came along. Now everybody's like ohhh THE samurai is Aku's enemy. Is the "shogun" title that he gave himself a minute after being born a joke to you??

Anyway—if he's used samurai before, at some point he'd go "I should fight fire with fire. Make me some samurai robot assassins." Not just to fight Jack, but like, if they work out, eventually they can be sent after him. So the scientists made a line of samurai robot assassins, pre-programmed them with combat techniques, then further trained them like they did that ninja robot.

And gave them matching commedia dell'arte names even though that has nothing to do with the samurai theme. Maybe the scientists were using them as code names in case anyone was spying on their project, maybe they were tired of the samurai theme, maybe the lead scientist was just a big theater nerd. So you've got Scaramouche, but somewhere out there are also a bunch of other similar-looking emotional robot assassins with names like Harlequin, Pierrot, Colombina, Pantalone, etc.

Scaramouche starts out looking and acting identically to the rest of his line: a dead serious bot with a kasa hat and robe and katana. And much like X-49, the samurai dell'arte got sent out into the world to kill, they started amassing experiences... they developed personalities.

over his first few years he acquires:

– A purple coat. his original robe got torn, he had to pick up something in a nearby town, he never requested a replacement for his original robe. To his knowledge, at this point he doesn't currently have any "tastes" or "opinions." But the coat. It compels him. In truth he probably would've latched onto whatever outfit he picked up first—pinstripe suit, sundress, clown costume, doesn't matter. He latches onto it because it's the first thing he ever chose for himself rather than had assigned to him.

– A fascination with jazz music. Latent code left over from X-49. like half the samurai dell'arte end up getting into jazz music. The other half do not get it at all.

– that accent. Not the ski-ba-bop-ba-dopping. The nasally inflection and cadence underneath. Picked it up from a neighbor. He got an apartment for in between jobs, and the Dead Serious Bot schtick meant he didn't do a lot of talking while working (and when he was home, he kinda just sat quietly in his room listening to jazz records contemplating life and waiting for a personality to develop). until he developed a little extroversion, he got more practice talking with his chatty neighbor than in the rest of his life combined.

– a new sword. His original sword broke, as long skinny blades that are approximately as hard as their wielder's skin eventually do. He went shopping for a new one. He knew what kinds of swords he was trained to use. He saw those swords. He also saw a goddamn scimitar. He got a goddamn scimitar.

– a dagger. He was having trouble learning how to wield a goddamn scimitar in the field.

– heeled boots; like Jack, he made the discovery that these are surprisingly effective for his line of work. Unlike Jack, he's secure enough in his robo-masculinity to keep rocking them even though women wear them too.

– structural modifications to his face so he can play wind instruments. Just as a hobby. Half the samurai dell'arte went "when we're not working we should form a JAZZ BAND." Sometimes they have jam sessions in local jazz clubs. (he wanted to play trumpet. Everyone wanted to play trumpet. fucking Harlequin got trumpet ugh. in retrospect he's glad he went with flute, he likes flute better.)

– A disconcertingly chipper personality, for a professional serial killer. never formally learns to dance but he's getting more extravagant with his body language—twirls and flourishes. he's still got all that precise combat training that he was preprogrammed with and trained in; but he's starting to care about how he looks doing his job. He likes what he does. He's good at what he does. He's ✨perky✨

– Singing training. Now he's ski-ba-bop-ba-dopping. By this point, he's got a fully-developed personality and sense of style. He's recognizably the Scaramouche the Merciless we know and love.

– A position on Aku's top assassins leaderboard. He's finally reached #1000! He stagnates there.

– a sudden raging dissatisfaction with the limitations of mere metal. He could be so much more, so much better, so much WORSE, if he wasn't held back by swords and armor.

– Training in how to use music to perform magic. It was not intended to be used for violence, but it turns out that part is pretty easy. bam now he's a wizard. You know how rare robot wizards are?

– structural modifications to let him use his voice for magic.

– A position in the top 100!

– a feud with the other members of the jazz band. The trumpeter is just jealous he's not the most impressive bot in the band anymore, now that the flutist is a better killer and better vocalist than the rest of them combined. Scaramouche doesn't know why the rest of the band took Harl's side, that guy's a jerk.

– A scarf. Because he liked it. He's now capable of getting things just because he likes them. It calls attention to his best asset, babe.

– Aku's phone number.

– An insufferable fucking ego (related to previous point).

– a dagger that makes things explode. Custom made, cost a pretty penny, Scaramouche helped with the design himself, it's got music magic woven in to boost that tuning fork trick it does. At this point, Aku's deep in his "oh who cares if Jack's still out there, I don't, I won't even send anyone to kill him, what does it matter anyway" phase; but Scaramouche remembers what his model was originally built for. For most of his life, that goal seemed so distant as to be totally abstract—but now...? He'd like to find out what a magic dagger can do to a magic sword.

– and finally... the numero uno spot, baby. 😎

By the time Scaramouche earns the long-coveted Aku's fave position, he's fully evolved into his own person. Out of everything he started with—his face, his voice, his clothes, his skills, his weaponry—the only part of him that's still recognizable is... his hat. same damn hat he started with. never changed it.

("gee puff did you come up with this whole long elaborate headcanon just to explain why scaramouche has a kasa?" shut up)

at some point he started to select his own targets rather than wait for them to be assigned. If you wanna make it to the top and stay there, you've gotta take initiative! He knows Aku would want somebody dead and they happen to be nearby, he goes after them—doesn't check if there's a bounty yet, doesn't check if another assassin in Aku's direct employ has already been assigned to the job. Never got in trouble for it; as long as the target ends up dead, Aku thinks it's funny if one of his assassins poaches a job from another. You snooze you lose.

Only target he was ever discouraged from pursuing was Samurai Jack. He got told don't bother. Aku's sick and tired of losing his best warriors, assassins, and mercenaries by throwing them against that impenetrable brick wall, and this particular 'bot shows a lot of promise, Aku would rather keep him on the roster for a while. Plus sometimes he texts Aku memes. Aku kind of likes the memes.

What Scaramouche hears is don't bother; you're not good enough to take him down.

And that's about the time Scaramouche starts plotting to slaughter a whole town and pile the corpses into a smoke signal.

[ckret2]

Just had a very in-depth dream about navigating unicorn politics because of your fic. For some reason I had unicorn puppies, which made it very important that I have an audience with them.

I think you accidentally got one of Mabel's dreams. Unicorn puppies omg. Exact kind of BS that would happen in canon.

[ckret2]

How long did it take Bill to figure out how to cross his legs like in the art?

I'm gonna be frank with you, probably none of the shapes actually look like that. Bill's JUST left the second dimension. He doesn't look 3D yet, he won't look 3D yet for a long time.

But if I was drawing Bill "accurately," he'd have to look something like this:

(Note: this is NOT an accurate representation of Bill's internal organs. It's not even the right colors. It's a visual example of what kind of stuff an accurate illustration of 2D Bill would have to include.)

This doesn't convey the right mood. Not only is it visually illegible and busy, it also shifts the emphasis of the image onto "oh wow you can see all their guts and stuff" and away from "oh shit, they're all dead and Bill's being creepily friendly about it." It's so preoccupied with looking "correct" that it destroys all the markers by which the human audience can identify important things like the actual character's emotions.

The emphasis of this chapter is not on how bizarre 2D people look to 3D people. The Axolotl's seen through 2D people before. Hell, he's a higher dimensional being, he sees through 3D people too—humans also look like a walking mass of guts to him.

He isn't thinking about the 2D people's 2D-ness. Their guts don't freak him out. Their unnatural deaths and Bill's unnatural cheerfulness freak him out.

So I didn't draw their guts, I drew their deaths & cheerfulness—in a way that makes sense to the audience. Including body language.

tl;dr: Bill isn't even crossing his legs. He's just drawn that way.

[ckret2]

What are Ashi’s thoughts on music? What kind does she like?

this is gonna be a very limited answer, because:

I don't think she heard music before she joined Jack. I doubt the cult allowed it.

Jack was traveling outside of civilization most of the time, so she was too. When they were in town he was on business, he wasn't hanging around places that play music.

So probably the majority of the music she heard in her brief time outside the cult was after returning to the past with Jack, once they could settle down.

I don't know shit about traditional Japanese music. I couldn't tell you the difference between shoumyou and gagaku. So I can't tell you what she was listening to in Japan.

So there's only one thing I can tell you: we know that when Ashi stumbles upon a rave, she immediately gets into it and starts dancing. So apparently she liked that.

And I headcanon that the music used in the rave episode was chosen to brainwash kids because Aku actually likes it.

So, conclusion: Aku & Ashi have the same taste in music.

[ckret2]

What’s the dessertification post?

this one

[ckret2]

I’m so intrigued by your paper

when it's unleashed i'm telling y'all all about it

[ckret2]

Just got the digital copy of the 10 Years of Bill Cipher Fanzine and I love your fic for it! The interactions are excellent and I love Bill’s dreamscape

oh cool, I didn't know the digital copy was out yet! Glad you enjoyed :)