instagram bios sentence starters / shamelessly compiled from here & here / original sources tumblr, vine, & the internet in general tbh
“i never finish anyth”
“what do you meme”
“i never know what to write in these”
“what up i’m jared i’m 19 and i never fuckin’ learned how to read”
“i put the :// in http://”
“narrator: things were not alright alright alright alright”
“joe biden memes are honestly the only thing keeping me sane.”
“kinks include: disappearing, being unreachable by phone”
“who the fuck calls laundry sauce ‘detergent’? okay mr scientist lmao”
“i have no idea what i’m doing but i know i’m doing it well”
“recommended by 8/10 people who recommend things”
“accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don’t notice when you replace words with random musical instruments”
“times new romans in the streets, wingdings in the sheets”
“i am very small and have no money”
“road work ahead? i sure hope it does”
“i’m very gay, i’d like a few dollars”
“what the FUCK is up kyle? step the FUCK up kyle”
“the scariest president was mount rushmore because he had four heads”
“hello darkness my old friend why are you here it’s 4 pm”
“ugly culture is using that one selfie for ages and reposting it and making it ur pfp on everything until u take another okay-looking selfie”
“we’re delta airlines and life is a fucking nightmare”
“most cutting thing you can say is ‘who’s this clown?’ because it implies they’re a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns”
“my excuse is that i’m young”
“i’m on a roll like cottonelle”
“all in good time”
“a day dreamer and a night thinker”
“keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground”
“as free as the ocean”
“and so the adventure begins”
“adventure begins where certainty ends”
“see the good”
“nothing but blue skies”
“choose kindness”
“don’t forget the happy thoughts”
“life is short but sweet for certain”
“do more of what makes you happy”
“kanye attitude with drake feelings”
“acts like summer and walks like rain”
“for my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream”
“turn my birthday into a lifestyle”
“and if the music is good, you dance”
“you may say i’m a dreamer, but i’m not the only one”
“it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live”
“all good things are wild and free”
“be groovy or leave, man”
“babe, you look so cool”
“isn’t that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?”