These are the private matters between husband and wife.
Companion piece to prompt 18: letters from no one
Her marriage has always been a subject of controversy. So it is no surprise to Sakura that when word gets around that Sasuke has left the village yet again, what seems like the entirety of Konoha is at her doorstep.
Some are nosy neighbors who are just so heartbroken that her husband has gone away. What a selfish man he is to leave his young wife and daughter all alone.
Other condolences are less welcome. They tell her how her husband doesn’t know what he is missing. How if they were her husband, they would never ever leave her.
Her friends sometimes are not any better. Despite knowing her husband leaves her out of duty rather than choice, they tell her she deserves better than this. Sakura shouldn’t wait for a husband who can leave at the drop of a hat. And Sarada needs a father isn’t so quick to flee.
Then there is Naruto, the very man who had reluctantly sent her husband away. He calls her to his office one day weeks after Sasuke leaves to counsel her. He tells her that Sasuke is strong, and she has nothing to worry about. Her husband has nerves of steel and a heart of stone, nothing can stand in his way.
But none of them know her husband like she does.
He may not wear his heart on his sleeve, but when they are alone Sasuke is still the same boy that Sakura fell in love with as a child.
Because in reality, her husband has always been quite soft.
Even though he is known throughout the five great nations both as a menace and a hero, this terrifying man is wrapped around a toddler’s chubby fingers.
When Sarada cries, he is the first to sprint to her side. He never complains about changing diapers or late night feedings. And despite Sarada already learning to toddle on her unsteady legs, her silly husband still insists on carrying his daughter any chance he can. Sasuke spoils and dotes on his only child, far from the image he has cultivated.
And though their romance has never been ideal to others, she never doubts his devotion.
In the public, they keep a professional distance. In the comfort of their own home he showers her with affection. Not only is he is a passionate lover but also a considerate one.
He mantians her weapons even when tells him she doesn’t intend to take any missions anytime soon. When her stomach growls, Sasuke always has some of her favorite snacks ready. And on those chilly nights he slips warm wooly socks onto her feet.
He may not be a man of many words, but his actions speak quite clearly. And because he is like this, so deeply in love as the Uchiha often are, leaving breaks him.
As the days wind down, Sakura notices a worrying change in her husband.
Sasuke become quick to anger. His mood changes like a lightning storm. And most concerning, he begins to withdraw away from her and Sarada.
Just like when he was a child, Sakura knows it is a defense mechanism. To Sasuke, severing bonds means that nothing can hurt him. Those dear people can’t be taken away if he has none to begin with. Just a way to protect what is left of his fragile heart.
But just like back then, it doesn’t work.
She finds him one night, one of his last at home, overlooking Sarada while she sleeps. He is bent over her crib in a silent prayer. And he weeps.
Sakura approaches him quietly. A soft hand on his back, the other intertwining his own.
Sasuke turns to her, and she sees the same boy from back then. So afraid but duty bound. This time not by revenge or familial honor.
This time he will leave to protect them. He leaves this time so that Sarada can grow up free of war. It is a decision they make together. That no matter the sacrifice, as her parents, they will protect Sarada’s smile.
He collapses into her in a half embrace as his strength leaves him. She can feel the tears seep into her shirt as his head rests on her shoulder. The hand on his back now softly cards through his hair while the other stays grasping his own.
And Sasuke confides to his wife as his often does in his darkest moments.
“I want to stay…”
----
Even though she misses him terribly, she still has Sarada. She still has Ino and Naruto. Her parents are always there for her. Kakashi and Sai and Shizune and Tsunade and others support her. She knows will be fine.
Rather she worries for Sasuke.
He is a broken boy that grew up into a broken man. And just when he finally finds peace within himself, finally lives the mundane life he had always craved, he is thrown back into a world of monsters and blood.
But his resolve has always been one of his greatest traits. One of the reasons she loves him so. And she has complete faith he will vanquish the demons that continue to haunt their world.
But the heart is a delicate thing. And as he often does, Sasuke confides in his wife in his darkest moments.
Marigold for grief. Anemone for undying love. Almond for a promise.
They say that Sasuke Uchiha is one of the strongest men alive. But no one knows her husband like she does.
A/N: This prompt went through many different ideas and plots and somehow evolved into this, so sorry if the grammar and structure is kind of wonky. Thank you for reading!
SasuSaku month 2019
days 8 and 27 - Oasis & They Never Know
title: Grieving Home
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summary: It’s been a month since the Uchiha Massacre, and slowly, Sasuke realizes life will never be the same anymore. He’s all alone now, and even if it would be better for him to continue that way, he’s still not ready to move on by himself.
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Sasuke doesn’t know where he's going. He doesn't know which path he’s following or which trees he’s passing, and right now, he doesn't really care. He has no idea of where he is, but it's already better than the academy building. He just wanted to get away from that place— from those people, those eyes, those whispers, those walls and those pitiful and sorry faces—, and that’s what he's doing. His muscles are working incredibly fast, the cold air is hitting his blazing lungs, and his heart is almost breaking out of his rib cage as he runs aimlessly around the woods.
He doesn't remember much before he started running, but he knows he can't stop. No, not yet. He is still too close and the voices are still too loud. He has to keep going. He is scared and he has to run away. He has to escape those red eyes that have been haunting him ever since that night.
“Stay away from me!”
His scream echoes around the woods, and soon— what might have been seconds, minutes or hours for all he knows— his thin legs stop moving when he reaches a clearing filled with very tall trees. He’s panting, sweat rolls down his forehead, and his dark eyes are viciously examining the place around him, looking for someone— looking for him. He really doesn’t know where he is, but somehow, he knows he’s managed to escape. Silence envelops the atmosphere around him, his ears only capturing the loud sound of his beating heart, and slowly, he manages to control his own, breathing pattern. Sasuke feels safe now. At least, safer than before. He looks down at his hands, both of them still shaking, and he knows he has to calm down.
Get it together, he screams inside his head. Tears are threatening to escape his eyes, but he doesn’t want to cry anymore. He has been crying himself to sleep every night for the past 4 weeks, and he’s tired of it. Tired of the stinging sensation that takes over his eyes, tired of the headaches, the puffy nose and of looking like crap every day. Even if the Sandaime told him it’s okay to cry at moments like this, he knows his tears won’t bring his family back. Crying won’t make the pain go away.
Slowly, then, Sasuke finally feels his heart settling. He can think straight now, trying to pinpoint his location so he can figure out a way to go back to that new apartment the Hokage gave him. He’s still not used to that place yet, and he knows it’s still going to take a long time before he does. He has never lived in an apartment before— especially not under such circumstances— though he’s not sure if he likes it. It’s a lot smaller than his house, having no more than 3 rooms, and yet, it feels a lot emptier due to the silence that spreads within its walls. It’s colder, cleaner and lonelier than the house where he grew up in, and it’s weird waking up every day just to see his things still resting where he had last left them.
But he doesn’t even try to compare them, no. This new place will never be his home, and that’s something he has made amends with for the past couple of days. Sasuke doesn’t have a home anymore, he knows. All he has is the vivid memory of a blood-stained district.
The urge of crying starts to build up in his throat once more, but he shoves it off as the grown-up man he thinks he’s supposed to be. His eyes, then, catch the sight of what seems to be a small tent made of leaves, and once more, he looks around to see if he’s really the only one around that clearing. There are some flowers growing around it, and what he supposes to be the entrance hole is more than enough for a person of his size to cross. It seems to be a secret hideout, he thinks. It’s small, hidden, and judging by the small things decorating it, he supposes it already belongs to someone. A girl, probably.
His eyes are wide now as he continues to observe the place, and he can feel an atypical curiosity getting the best of him. He has always known better than to just invade someone else’s space without a proper invitation, but curiosity proves itself to be stronger than him. It’s running through his veins and moving his feet on their own, and before he knows it, he’s slowly entering the hideout, dunking his head a little so he doesn’t destroy the paper flowers hanging from the ceiling.
There’s a small hallway that leads to an open space, and his small lips part in awe as his eyes wander around. There are many flowers growing around in small pots and a lot of small, girly things are spread around the ground. He finds a stuffed-bunny sitting in a small chair next to a couple of ninja books from the academy, and slowly, he realizes that this hideout probably belongs to a girl around his age. She seems to be very organized, he notes, for everything has its own place, and even if the things she has in there are not really his style, he appreciates the effort she puts into it to make the place look cute.
It is cute, he guesses, with his 7-year-old mind. Most girls would probably enjoy having a place like that to play in the woods. He certainly would, if the decoration was a bit more masculine. He would love having a place just for himself. A place he built and decorated all by himself, with all of his things and away from everything and everyone.
Yes. He would love a place like that. It would be his own, little corner in the world, and nothing would ever be able to ruin it. It would be big enough just for him, so he could see everything all the time, and he would be able to do all of his favorite things alone. He could stay there for as long as he wanted, away from people who come by to check on him and give him food, but never really stay for dinner; and without all that pity in their eyes, saying stupid things such as "I’m sorry for what’s happened” or “I know how you’re feeling”.
They don’t know anything. They never do.
Being completely on his own would really be perfect, he thinks, sitting down so he can take a better look around. He closes his dark eyes, then, enjoying the silence and the chirping of the birds, and suddenly, he feels his heart being filled with an overwhelming melancholy. He’s all alone in the world now, and knowing he’s actually searching for comfort in that loneliness makes him feel a little hopeless regarding his future.
Will he always be alone? Will he always miss his family? And will he eventually be okay with all of that?
Sasuke really hopes not, but for now, at least, he believes that accepting that will be for the best.
One day, he will have his own, private oasis, but until that day comes, he can’t be alone.
Not even today. Not when he’s around all of these flowers.
The sound of rushed steps and a soft humming suddenly startles his ears, and before he can even move, he watches as the flowers of the entrance sway as a familiar girl passes beneath them. Her hair is pink like the cherry blossoms, her ribbon is red like a tomato and her eyes— her emerald, green eyes— widen as soon as she enters the hideout and sees him sitting there. He watches as a silly smile drops from her parted lips, and he holds her gaze locked with his for a little too long while a weird silence settles upon them.
So, the hideout belongs to Haruno Sakura, he thinks. It belongs to the shy and smart girl who got transferred not too long ago, and who still doesn’t have many friends. He never sees her hanging around the other girls from their class, and if anything, he thinks that’s something positive about her.
They’re looking at each other, silent questions being exchanged by their eyes. He can see as she’s progressively changing her expression, as her cheeks start to get redder in embarrassment and she brings her small hands close to her heart. Her small lips are slowly parting in awe, as her mind puts the pieces together, and even if he knows he’s the one trespassing, he can’t help but find her surprised expression amusing.
What a weird girl, he thinks.
“Sa-Sasuke-kun?” She starts, then, after a couple of minutes of pure silence. Her voice is pitched and surprised, but oddly, he doesn’t find it annoying at all. “I-I’m so sorry! I didn’t know you were here! I didn’t mean to bother you! I will leave and—”
“Tch.” He clears his throat, a pout forming on his lips. For someone so smart, she seems to let her awkwardness get the best of her. “Why are you apologizing? This place is yours, right?”
She nods, slowly, but she doesn’t really seem to be affected by his words. “But you were here before, right? I don’t want to bother you, whatever it is that you’re doing.”
“Hn.” He scoffs, his voice a bit softer now. Finally, he stands up, adjusting his black shirt and hiding his hands inside his pockets. "I’m not doing anything. I was just passing by and got curious, that’s all.”
“I see…” She pouts, her brows arching as he can almost see the wheels turning inside her head. “Ah! Now I remember! Iruka-sensei was looking for you! I should let him know you’re here! Wait here, Sasuke-kun! I’ll go get h—“
“No!” He stops her on her tracks, his voice coming out harsher than he originally planned, as his eyes unexpectedly start to glare at her. Without thinking, he grabs her small hand, pulling her back before she can take another step towards the exit— towards that building, those people, those eyes. His heart starts racing again, and Sasuke knows she can read right through his reaction.
In her eyes, he sees a mix of fear and concern, but if anything, there are no traces of that fake pity everyone seems to be offering him for the past month. Sakura is actually worried about him. Not because of what’s happened to his family or because Iruka-sensei was looking for him; but because of what he’s feeling right now. That sudden harshness, impulsiveness and irritation...that’s not like him at all. Even if she knows about his family— because she does, he’s sure of that— she’s offering him the trivial emotion he’s been missing so much for the past month.
Someone is worried about him. Someone cares. And that— well…That means a lot.
His eyes soften when he looks at her, as he realizes how rude that scream must have sounded. There is still a hint of fear in her emerald eyes, and he can see that they’re a bit watery, too. He certainly scared her back there. Not enough to make her run away from him, but he knows he needs to apologize.
"I-I…I’m sorry.” He says, embarrassment taking over his face as his eyes are set on the ground.
“Eh?”
"I didn’t mean to scream or anything like that…It was rude of me.”
“Aah…I-It’s really okay, Sasuke-kun…” She smiles, weakly at first, but slowly growing more confident. She shakes her hands in front of her face as to ease the atmosphere, and a soft chuckle escapes her lips. “I also get scared quite easily. It’s fine.”
“Still, it doesn’t excuse what I did!” He says, his heart beating a bit faster inside his chest as he started to mentally plan his next words. He can feel himself growing anxious as he tries to find the right words to apologize to her, for he doesn't know if he is ready to talk about what's happened just yet. It’s still too soon for his heart to bare, but he doesn't think he has a choice. Sasuke wants her to understand his reasons, hence, he doesn’t see another option that won’t end up with him telling her about his family. Not when he wants her to understand. “I was just…I was just so...You see, lately I—“
But she already does.
Before the Uchiha can say another word, Sakura uses her free hand to cover his lips. His eyes widen at the sudden and bold touch, and it’s as if all the words disappear from his head. Her eyes are drawing him in, offering his heart the comfort he’s been lacking for the past weeks, and subtly telling him he doesn’t need to explain himself.
I know, her eyes say, silently, and he feels her other hand giving him a squeeze. There’s a soft blush tinging her cheeks now, and even if the shy girl doesn’t hold eye contact for too long, it’s enough for him to understand her.
She understands him. A girl with no friends, no outstanding skills and with a normal family. She understands him, and more than that, she’s offering the silent support he didn’t know he needed. She’s the one person he didn’t know he needed by his side. Oh...What an odd and cruel way for fate to bring them together.
He finally nods in agreement, then, after she releases his mouth, Sasuke manages to offer her a soft smile. It’s enough to make her lips curl up beamingly, and before an awkward silence can envelope the place, the shy pinkette takes the lead.
With a strong and warm grip, she starts pulling him towards the flowers he saw before. “Well, if you’re not going after Iruka-sensei, you might as well give me a hand with these flowers. They need to be watered and we need to remove the dry leaves. Can you help me, Sasuke-kun?”
“...Of course.” He affirms, softly, letting her guide him to the flowers and pull him to the ground so they can sit side by side. She lets go of his hand, and for a moment, he misses the warmth of it.
“Yay! It’s going to be so much faster like this!”
“I guess…” He starts, his hands already touching the petals in front of him. “Also…Do you—uhm— Do you know what Iruka-sensei wanted from me?”
“Eh?” Her eyes widen for a bit, and soon there is an inquisitive pout taking over her lips. “I'm not really sure…But it’s probably to talk to you about the classes you’ve missed. He wouldn’t want his best student to stay behind, ne?”
“Oh…I see. It makes sense, I guess.”
“Yeah…” She grows silent for a moment, and his eyes catch the way her hands start fiddling nervously. He arches an eyebrow at that, and when he’s about to question her, Sakura spits out. “I-If you want, I can help you with that.”
“What?”
“I-I can give you my notes and I can help you study. There’s nothing that complicated, but there are some tricky parts every now and then.”
His eyes widen at her kindness, and once more, he’s impressed with that girl who has never talked to him before. They aren’t friends or anything like that, and yet, she is doing everything she can to help him with the simplest things. Sakura is slowly bringing him back to reality, and he’s extremely grateful for that.
“I would like that.” He says, sincerely. “You're the smartest girl in our class, so I bet your notes will help a lot.”
“Smartest?!” She chuckles, blushing a bit. “No way! I’m a disaster as a ninja.”
“Hn. Maybe you lack some training, but your test-grades are higher than mines.”
“Maybe it’s just luck…”
“Yeah, sure it is.” He teases, knowing very well luck has nothing to do with it. She’s a smart girl, and one day, if she can develop some good skills, he knows she will become a kind kunoichi. He really hopes she does.
“Well, then, maybe we can meet here after classes, what do you think? I can always use hand with the flowers. I-If you want, of course.”
“Yeah...It's a deal, then.” He nods at her, his voice now calmer than before. His heart is beating at normal speed, his breathing is even and even if he’s sad— even if he will be sad for years to come— right now, at least, he has found himself some peace. And it’s all thanks to her. “…Arigato, Sakura.”
His eyes capture the way her expression softens at his words, and she takes a deep breath in acceptance. Suddenly, though, much like when she first walked in on him, her eyes widen, her lips part in awe and her cheeks are blushing hard. “Eh?! D-Do you know my name?”
“What?! Of course, I do! We’ve been studying together for almost a year!”
“Well…But maybe you didn’t know? I mean, you’re always so serious and always so focused...”
“Tch, of course I know, Sakura. I…I do know. You’re a very weird person.”
“Hey! I’m not the one who invaded a weird hideout!”
They look at each other for a moment longer before sharing a comfortable laughter. Right now, even with everything that has happened, they’re able to have some fun. Slowly, they’re becoming friends, and for the moment, he knows, that’s all they need.
Someone by their side. Someone who accepts their scars and who understands how it feels to live a life so differently from the rest of the kids.
And oddly, they do.
fin.
a/n: So... I don't really write much about SasuSaku as babies (they're 7 but they are babies, ok?!) and I felt so weird! Like, I don't know if I went too far or if I didn't go far enough, I don't know if they really look like children, I don't know anything anymore XD I really loved the idea of this story and I hope you guys enjoy it! Thanks for reading, and please, let me know what you think!
