Between Game of thrones, how I met your mother and umbrella academy, how would you rank them from worst to least bad finales and why?
This is a REALLY though rank to make (except for my number one), not only because I genuinely loathe these finales (and added a extra one), but also because all of them have the same two major problems: a betrayal of the core themes of the show AND telling the audience "fuck you for caring about these characters."
After very long, careful considering though, I think I've reached my veredict (and no, Stranger Things is not on the list, I never watched this show and never will, whoever keeps sending my 5 asks per day about it PLEASE stop).
Number Four, Or "Least Bad" - How I Met Your Mother
I am honestly shocked at my own conclusion here because, while the final seasons of HIMYM weren't great, they weren't the attrocities of Umbrella season 4, nor the entire second half of Game Of Thrones. Surely, if the finale was SO bad it single-handedly ruined the show, it should be worst than the ones that were simply the last fuck up in a long line of fuck ups, right? It's only competition should be the extra finale I'm adding (because yeah, that's another case of "ONE episode fucked it all up").
But here's the thing: This is the only finale in which the problem is "Good idea, bad execution." The tragic, bitter tone is wrong, but only because this was the wrong show for it, not because tragedies are inherently bad. "We weren't right for each other then, we're right for each other now" is an alright concept for a romance, it just couldn't be applied to Ted and Robin because they're one of the most incompatible couples ever. These were the wrong characters for this ending, but I can see it working on a different show.
There were also two genuinely great scenes - Barney finally growing as a person because of the birth of his daughter (kind of feels like something that could have happened and worked fine if it wasn't for the obvious "he already had that arc with Robin, it doesn't work if you do it twice) and Ted meeting Tracy and the sparks flying everywhere.
Makes sense that this shitshow is the one with the most defenders even if it is still clearly a shitshow and said defenders are either in denial or have such low standards that any hint of quality will do to convince them something is brilliant.
Number Three, or "Am I A Joke To You?" - Attack On Titan
I'm really struggling to resist the urge to just go "FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU" and not elaborate further because this one makes me enraged to the point of losing all coherence - much like the plot of this story did.
The creator of this disaster always justifies this attrocity with "A happy ending with what been unrealistic." I didn't know that something being happy and something making sense were the same thing. Because THAT'S the thing that broke this finale.
Tragedy fits right in for Attack On Titan. I was honestly expecting, and despite being big on happy endings, I would have been disappointed if this story chickened out of the clear apocalyptic disaster it was so obviously leading towards.
The problem is that the "tragedy" happens through retcons, plot conveniences, character assassination (metaphorical, an important distinction on this case), fucking Deus Ex Machina, and just dumb decision after dumb decision (in universe and out of it).
The tone is correct. But it is the ONLY thing that is correct. The theme, the characters, the plot... it's all unsalvageable.
Worse yet, while the show always had problems, it was still super enjoyable even when it was at its worse - until the finale happened. It was one single, precise, fatal shot to the head.
Number Two, Or "...How can anything top this?" - Game Of Thrones
Again, logically you'd think this finale would be the least bad because, come on, how can an episode "ruin" a show that has already been irredemably bad for half of it's existence? Well, GOT did it. It's finale was the definition of "I had zero expectations and STILL ended up disappointed."
HIMYM botched the execution of it's acceptable idea. But much like AOT, half of the GOT finale consists of things that would NEVER be okay.
Super important plot-points were abandoned (Jon Snow's parentage), characters survive stuff they shouldn't (Tyrion and Jon), characters "win" stuff they don't deserve (Bran, Bron), themes (that are apparently for 8 grade book reports) get botched (the Starks all going their separate ways despite their theme being "The lone wolf dies, but the pack survives"), characters make absolutely MORONIC decisions (TYRION and by extension everyone that listened to him), character assassination that the writers swear was warrented because "we foreshadowed it" like that compensates for the fact that they didn't DEVELOP that storyline (Dany), etc.
There's also an overwhelming layer of arrogance and laziness to this finale.
The creators of HIMYM literally said they didn't know just how many people cared that deeply about their show until they saw the uproar the finale caused, and to this day you can tell they're still passionate about the very dumb decision they made. The creator of Attack On Titan apologized to the studio for the bomb he threw on their lap, but still stood by his disaster ending that clearlys means a lot to him, even if he's upset that most people hate it. These guys are stupid, have no taste, and refuse to accept they fucked up, but goddammit, at least they're sincere.
But the showrunners of GOT? They flat out said they expected perfect reviews for this finale. They thought it was going to be the new Breaking Bad, despite the fact that they rushed the ending of the show (disrespectful to the audience, the actors, the production crew, etc) because they wanted to jump onto Star Wars without giving up credit for being "The Game Of Thrones guys." They gave us garbage and expected us to eat it up gladly and ask for more because they thought their show was too big to fail, that they were too good to even need to put EFFORT into anything.
The actors of HIMYM weren't talking shit about the finale before it aired, and when they do it now they at least try to be polite about it - they even agreed to reprise their roles as special guests in the spin off years later. The actors of GOT were talking shit before the finale even aired and their reaction to reading the scripts went viral.
They were angry, they were shocked, they were confused, they were disappointed, they were sad, they were laughing nervously so they wouldn't cry, and sometimes they flat out looked dead inside... just like the actors for...
Number One, or "KILL IT WITH FIRE" - The Umbrella Academy
When I said this finale is worse than HIMYM and GOT combined, I fucking meant it. This is the first finale on this list that I've yet to see ANYONE defend. All the others have at least a handful of fans that have aggressively told me "the finale is genius, you just don't get it!"
There's no greater "fuck you" to an audience than "THEY ALL NOT ONLY DIED, THEY WERE RETCONNED OUT OF EXISTENCE." It's the ultimate betrayal. Irredeemable, unforgivable. Especially when you remember the core theme of the show was "This is a dysfunctional family that believes itself to be fundamentally evil due to THE YEARS OF ABUSE THEY'VE ENDURE SINCE BIRTH."
These are the people being told "You don't matter. You're too broken to matter. Nothing you do will ever be enough, for anyone, not even yourself. You can never attone. You can never grow. You can never be enough. You can never be good. You'll never be worth giving a chance to. You don't deserve saving, you don't deserve mercy, you don't deserve love. The world would be better off without you. If you died, no one would mourn you because you shouldn't have been alive in the first place. You're a mistake"
It's disgusting. It's cruel. It's downright EVIL. Nothing, absolutely nothing in the world could come even close to being as bad as this. Nothing, except...
BONUS! Or "Ash Really WAS In A Coma!" - St. Elsewhere
Hooooly shit, I could not believe my eyes and ears when I found out about this one.
St. Elsewhere is a show about a hospital, and the lives of the people who work there... except the finale reveals it was all actually the imagination of an autistic child. Not even an autistic child the viewers would be familiar with before it, mind you. Just a rando we're introduced to at the last second.
The characters weren't all killed (physically or metaphorically). They weren't turned into birds or marigolds. They weren't even all written out of the universe. They all never were. At all. Ever. All that exists is this kid the viewers weren't ever given the chance to truly get to know, let alone care about. He's GOD, and he said "FUCK YOU! ALL YOU KNOW IS A LIE!" to the fans.
Worse yet: the show had crossover episodes. It had some of it's characters, from the most to least important ones, appear in SEVERAL other shows. Which implies all of these shows are part of the "Tommy Westphall Universe", aka, NONE OF THE CHARACTERS IN THESE SHOWS EXIST EITHER!
This isn't a slap in the face, a knife to the back, or even "one shot, one kill." This is "One nuke, MILLIONS dead."
The only reason this isn't on the list proper is that I only know of it through it's absolute, almost four decades-old infamy. If I had actually been a fan who grew to care about the characters and then suddenly had been hit with this shitty excuse of a twist?
I would have fucking murdered the writers over it.