While the staircase model can help us make sense of being human more broadly, the stress response itself remains unique to each of us depending on our life experiences. Whatever patterns we have used most in the past are the ones that form neurological grooves in our brain-body system. Just as water running over rocks changes the shape of the rocks, our thinking/behaving/responding changes our neurobiology, making it easier for our nervous system to instinctively take that pathway in the future. For example, if asking for help in the past has worked, it's going to be easier for us to take that social engagement step now than it would be if we had tried it in the past and were shamed or mocked, or we experienced even more violence or hurt as a result.
Hillary L. McBride, PhD, The Wisdom Of Your Body
