What do you think would’ve happened if Bill had still been home during mindscape? also so excited for the next installment!!
Ohohoho, brilliant question! What would have happened in Dreamscaperers if Birch had been home when Cipher invaded Stan's mind? This is a long one because I really wanted to give it a lot of thought.
Remember: in Fireproof, Cipher checked in on Gravity Falls a couple of times throughout the years but was unable to contact anyone or enter the town without someone summoning him. He had initially written Birch off due to his soothsayer scam and his close involvement with Stan. On top of this, he couldn't even enter Birch's dreams because of Birch's innate mind defenses leftover from his previous life. Cipher didn't realize Birch was his variant until he saw the memory of Birch's arrival and the cloak he arrived in Stan's memories.
As for the journals, Dipper has been concealing its existence from both of his uncles because of the author's warning: "Trust No One." Except for Mabel, Soos, and Wendy, his friends. He'd be more willing to show Birch than Stan at this point because at least Birch has an interest in the occult even if he doesn't believe Dipper's stories. Also remember that throughout the summer, Dipper has been trying to show Birch all of the magical forest creatures, but everything turns back to normally suspiciously before Birch can see it. Which is the point because Birch is purposefully messing with him.
When Gideon tries to break into the safe in the beginning of the episode, Birch straight up points a gun at him. Gideon weakly tries to call his bluff but Birch shoots a bullet through his pompadour. Then Stan pushes him out with the broom. Violence against children is NOT condoned here!
When Stan bullies Dipper into getting rid of the bat, Birch generally backs him up/doesn't stand up for Dipper. At best, he's neutral and at worst he's complicit. This really hurts Dipper because he thought that if Stan always gives him a hard time, maybe Birch would be more lenient. Birch creeps him out a bit and can be a tease, he's not as harsh. But it's looking like BOTH his uncles don't really care about him!
That is to say, Birch actually doesn't really like Stan's approach of tough love. You should reward people in order to get them to like you! Being mean and harsh for no reason just drives people away! You make them miserable when they DESERVE to be made miserable for betraying you and taking advantage of everything you've done for them and--well, you get the picture! But then again, what does he know about raising children? No, Soos doesn't count.
Besides, Stan may say his dad toughened him up by pushing him, but look at the daddy issues that still plague the guy! But Birch DOES love the man he turned out to be...eh, he'll just go along with it and make sure the kid doesn't snap in a murderous rampage on a bad day.
Side note: Gideon asks Cipher to enter Stan's mind as opposed to Birch's because Birch scares him LOL. Bud has warned Gideon since birth about Birch, and while Gideon isn't as fearful with the journal by his side, he knows that man's mind must be the stuff of nightmares.
Soos does mention that they should tell Birch about the triangle guy, but Dipper brushes it off, saying that Birch would somehow miss it even if the triangle went into HIS mind instead.
When the kids and Soos initially enter Stan's mind, Birch is in his parlor doing some work and catching up on research. Specifically where the other two journals are because that PARTICULARLY annoys him. He's in the forest all the time! How has he NOT found them yet?! He hears some weird mumbling down the hallway at some point and decides to take a break and see what's up. What he finds are the kids passed out on the ground in the living room while Stan's sitting in the couch chair with his eyes glowing.
Uh-oh! Looks like the kids messed around in the woods and read one of the spells carved into the bark by witches from the days of old! Those ladies were probably a hoot to hand out with! Birch is pretty familiar with magic since he would explore every avenue possible to get his memories back, but even the ones meant to restore the mind didn't work on him. Little does he know it's because mortal magic is no match against the Axolotl's powers, but I digress.
He'd pop in just as the twins and Soos open the door for what should have been Stan and Lazy Susan's date. Obviously THAT'S not happening, so instead it's one of Stan and Birch's date nights. It starts out innocently enough, causing Mabel to aww, but then Memory-Birch hops up on the car hood and Stan gets in between his legs and--
Regular Birch quickly slams it shut before it goes any further. He greets them, then berates them for invading Stan's privacy. Mabel asks if he's not the slightest bit interested. Haven't you ever wanted to go inside your husband's mind?! Birch replies he's in every important part of Stan, so a geriatric head isn't necessary.
That's when he'd be told about the triangle Bill, who for some reason sounds a LOT like him! Or does he sound like the triangle? Dipper comments that it was super weird because it was like they could have been twins, to which Birch replies that there's enough twins in the family.
The Dipper door is something that Mabel and Soos tell Dipper to leave alone, but Birch says to go for it if you can handle the truth. Then he wanders off to help the kids stop this..."Bill". Truly, the most formidable name there is. Dipper is a bit unnerved but even more intrigued. By the way, Birch was present in that memory, but he doesn't speak except to rate Dipper's form with negative numbers, further ruining actual Dipper's mood and making him bitter and hateful.
It's during this time that Cipher has seen the memories of Birch and realizes who he is and that the Ax has to be involved! He disguises himself as Soos while Soos is distracted by the memory of Stan skating in booty shorts...which Birch also gets distracted by LMAO. His weakness: his lover looking hot. When they return to the group, Cipher unveils his ploy, takes the trap door, and snatches Birch to have with him for a quick chat before he contacts Gideon.
Mabel and Soos freak out, saying that they have to get the code and save Birch, but Dipper scoffs and says why should he?! They don't even like him! Why should he fix their problems for them?! They should do it on their own if they think so little of him!
When they're alone, Cipher tells Birch that he wants to talk because he's sure that they can help each other out! They both have something the other wants! Birch scoffs and says thanks, but he doesn't want a flat ass. Cipher doesn't appreciate that comment, but manages to move on, saying that since he's the master of the mind, he could probably help with those missing memories. Nothing's worked for 27 years, hasn't it? Maybe it's time to look somewhere else! In return, there's a pretty interesting machine you're working on in the basement...would be nice to finally see it turn on..
Birch is tempted but also incredibly wary. There has to more that happens when that machine opens than Ford coming home if this dream demon wants it to happen. Cipher holds out his hand as asks if Birch is really going to pass this opportunity up? Only Cipher can help him get what he REALLY needs. Birch goes silent and stares at the blue flames.
This is when Gideon calls, Mabel shoots the door into the bottomless pit, and Cipher gets upset. Birch is shaken and not very stable enough to think clearly at the moment or else he probably would have figured out how to fight back in the Mindscape pretty easily since it is second nature to him. But Cipher tripped him up.
Back to Dipper, he finally hears Stan's whole speech. Memory-Birch stops the flashback before Carla McCorkle can kiss Teen Stan's cheek, instead coming over to sit between Soos and Stan and dropping a kiss onto Stan's cheek. Memory-Birch comments that yeah, maybe the tough love is working on Dipper, but maybe compliment the kid once and a while so he doesn't think you hate him and decides to abandon you to the mercy of a dream demon. Real-Dipper chuckles guiltily at that and falls into the memory. Dream-Stan fixes the hole in his body and Dream-Birch eyes him silently before giving him some advice. Dipper gets distracted by his new mission to really think on the weird stare and leaves.
When Dipper returns to the group and tells them how to fight Cipher. Birch's attack is setting Cipher on fire with his own blue flames, which also really gives them both deja-vu and confirms to Cipher that yeah, Birch is definitely one of him. Cipher stops all their attacks and, looking Birch dead in the eye, says he'll be watching them. Then they wake up back in the living room, though Birch is sprawled on Stan's lap. Stan wakes up suddenly and asks if they were napping and he forgot.
The ending is still the same with Gideon stealing the deed, though Birch protests that it doesn't even HAVE the little booger's name on it!! It shouldn't even count!! NO it is not hypocritical that it's actually Stanford's name is on it and neither of them are Ford.
The biggest change though is that Birch has this temptation over him, and he COULD reach out to Cipher is he wanted to...with dead ends all around them, it's pretty tempting. Who knows how much more influence Cipher would have in this universe as he increasing has contact with Birch to sway him to his side? Especially once Ford returns...
I hope you enjoyed this what-if!!
