#stand up tips

[calnivore]

Stand-Up Comedy Novice Tip #1:

Never forget your last best thought/joke/tag because you’re too lazy to write it down immediately! It’s easy to permanently lose a good joke in the mind vortex! Keep your phone, tablet, or some version of a pen & notebook within a perpetual range of handiness!!

[kyleayers]

Tips for a Dog Starting Out in Stand Up Comedy

A lot of my dog followers have been hitting me up, telling me that they want to try out stand up comedy, and asking me if I have any tips for them to get started. So here's a quick list of things I think all of you dogs out there should keep in mind when getting into stand up:

1) Be yourself. - A lot of new stand up comics spend all of their time imitating their idols. Try and be yourself, and work on finding a good, honest voice. 

2) Have thumbs.

3) Write, write, write, and then write more. - Find what situations you write best in. A coffee shop, your home, morning, evening, etc. Many comics keep a notebook with them in case they have a spurt of inspiration while on the go.

4) Don't piss on the stage during your sets - It's not your territory, it's a shared space. 

5) Be nice. - It's good to have friends doing what you want to do. Be nice to other comics. Good boy, good boy.

6) DON'T STEAL JOKES - This is the biggest faux-paw possible in the stand up world.

No bones about it, you're barking up the wrong tree if you think it's going to be easy.. Sure, it's a ruff business, but don't flea the scene, and stick with it, and you can make it. You may not fetch much cash early on, but some people went at it for canine or ten years before they got any traction. It may be a bitch, but yorkie to happiness is doing what you love. If you find yourself around veteran comics, put on a muzzle and listen to their pointers. Some of them will have a good tail to tell.

[aaronbleyaert]

CHANGE: NOTHING STAYS THE SAME

Between the shitty hours I work, all my extracurricular projects, working out, the book(s) I’m currently reading, my recent obsession with Dr. Who (no spoilers), Swarm on Xbox, keeping my place clean, this blog, my Dick Clark cloning experiment, and learning the solo to Van Halen’s “Unchained” on guitar (it’s hard), it can be a real nightmare trying to nail down any kind of stage time to try out new jokes. 

But I’ve come up with a solution.

The grocery store on the corner in my neighborhood stays open until Midnight. SO, around 11:45/11:50 or so, I go over to buy something I don’t need - like flowers, condoms, or birthday cards that start "to my loving girlfriend" - and take it to the check out line with nobody in it (there's always at least one). Then, START YOUR STAND UP JOKES. The best part is, if you want more "stage time", all you have to do is buy more stuff! If you want a full five minutes, I recommend buying something that they have to weigh (like fruit) or something they have to get a price check on (like 12 boxes of women's douche that I've ripped all the price tags off of which at the time seemed like a really good idea but now that I'm looking at all these boxes of douche on my coffee table seems a little weird I'll admit).

One tip, though: If you're gonna go through with this, make sure to memorize your act. It looks weird if you're workshopping out of a notebook. Also, try to get a cashier that speaks English. You don't want anyone calling over their manager. Managers never laugh at anything... Even a guy buying douche at 11:55pm on a Wednesday night.