#standing back

[southinkucanflip]

[writemyjoy]

Stepping back

I’m used to butting in and having my say. I can see the path clearly and the road that should be taken. The help I give comes from what I feel is necessary and no thanks are needed. For every blockade, I smash on through knowing the person should see the other side, whether they’re ready or not. It’s how I’ve helped others, but for the first time, I’m taking the backseat and letting my advice be heard and not force an action should they heed of my words or not. It’s odd and frustrating to bite my tongue and look the other way. I can predict the mistakes they’re going to make and the shortcuts they’ve ignored. I’m close to lashing out a hand to direct them to the correct course, or what I know to be the correct course. I’m finding out more and more that some people need to take the wrong route to find out what’s right and that the long path might actually lead them somewhere better than I wouldn’t have dreamt in a million years! All of my pushing and constant enthusiasm and nagging doesn’t work on everyone. Instead of taking my advice, the person shuts down. They feel too pressured and can’t bear the failure nor rejection. A step can’t be made when it’s not perfect. Mistakes are a setback and not a lesson in life. My words doom them to a constant state of doubt when I know how bright their potential shines. I don’t take charge anymore and I try my best to think over my words, careful not to be brash but sensitive to their worries. It’s tough and I can’t stop myself from elevating others from their position in life. I can’t stop, not when mine is such a meager existence compared to the many around me. All I can do is lend an ear or offer my experience and thoughts, hoping, with everything in me, that they believe my words and take it because I want nothing more than to see them happy than to see them accept their suffering.

[citylizard]

I don't write about you anymore... And if you listened at all, any of those times, you might know how significant that is.

[commonsandsystems]

Using Systems Thinking: Context & Mapping

This part is all about mapping. Depending on who you are and what you’re trying to do and to change, this will be a quicker or slower, larger or smaller process. Even if you feel pretty certain of the lie of the land, it’s worth spending some time making a map. Some of your group are likely to see at least certain parts of it differently to you.

This could be as simple as a mind map on a flip chart, or as fancy as a computer programme especially for the task. It’s worth doing it in a way that can be saved and added to, and that multiple people can see, though. It (or your view of it) will almost certainly change as time moves on.

The thing you are trying to change:

getting hold of a community centre

stopping the sell off of a piece of land, or an unsuitable development

developing a community land trust

starting a community garden or allotment

buying a shop or a pub

A small amount of history (this is not about writing the authorised history of anything, though!)

How have things got to where they are?

Main decisions

Key turning points

 Context of the current situation

what are the “drivers for change”

where is pressure coming from?

Where is money coming from?

The discipline of a “PESTLE” analysis can be useful here – it specifically looks at the following factors:

Political

Economic

Social / Cultural

Technical

Legal

Environmental

None of this needs to be exhaustive but it is helpful to take as fresh a look at the context as you can. It can be surprising what is relevant.

Key protagonists

Who is involved?

Who has power?

What is the formal power structure

Who actually influences things but shouldn’t?

Who is related to / friends with / married to whom?

Who hates whom?

How does the context affect these people?

What motivates them?

What scares them?

What seems risky for them?

What do they need?

What would make their lives easier?

Who should be on the map?

This is a useful exercise to do together over a period of a couple of hours (or a day, if you can), and then to revisit on a regular-ish basis.  Remember that everyone will have a slightly different view of many of these things – it’s important to include as many viewpoints as possible. If you are finding that your whole group agrees on everything, it might be useful to get a friendly outsider or two to participate in this process: getting as many points of view as you can is crucial at this stage. 

[stairmaster5000]

At a time we were in love, and now you wanna be strangers.

And that's a hard pill to swallow like 'Ok... you need space, but you'll call tomorrow."

You know what? I finally figured it out. The truth is the best way is to let you go. 

Hopefully, someday they'll be friendship, but right now, we need to go our separate ways. And the fact of the matter is: that's ok.

I ain't gonna stand in your way.

This oddly applies to a few situations, but I only meant for it to apply to one that happened a month ago.

[jazzhoponit-blog]

Visit Original Link

Standing Back - The Let Go

what we had was beautiful, but those were yesterdays. & the fact of the matter is that's okay.