#standlore

[pharmacity-weekly]

Are you doing better now, Akko?

Kiyoi @semi-daily-vitamin-soyo

//Also Kojika better be prepared for the infodump that will blow her mind

Akko Aki.. the girl smiles. Nozomi's with her, and they're on the streets of the city.

"I.. I think so! I've gotten quite a few of my past memories back, at least. It's.. been a time, that's for sure, but I'm getting there. How about you, Kiyoi?"

[asleep-beneath-the-willows]

why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do that why did she do

[pharmacity-weekly]

censor warnings for gore, hallucinations!

I’ve gotta write the news.

It’s been months since I’ve done that.

Months since I’ve properly journaled, too.

And yet… I don’t think I can be the newsgirl, what with me still being unable to tell the difference between reality and fiction.

what’s all in my head, and what’s real before me.

I can still see her, sometimes. When I wake up in the mornings, before the other… things come to mind.

It’s her that I see. The way her hair drapes across her face, the way she’s so obviously curled up as if Moss was right there beside her even if her dog was back.. home…

Sometimes she wakes up before fading.

and those days, she looks at me the same way she did when I let go.

and then there are the horrors.

the smell and taste of blood, no matter where I go or what I’m eating. Not even my favourite foods can get.. the taste.. out of my mouth.

The sights, too. Sometimes, it’s like I’m back in that goddamn hallway, watching from a third point of view as it all goes down again. Her. I swear to god, it was the real her and not that… pharmacist. In that room and at my door. I don’t know where she went, nor if it really is the Airi I clung to. Then and now..

That reminds me, I should.. probably wash that bag. And… probably wash those keychains. gently as I can.

Just… one step at a time.

I should probably note my general symptoms too- in case I ever find something that might help.

Right now, it’s a lot of auditory and visual hallucinations. I’ve mentioned the blood, but I can also hear that goddamn laugh. It’s sickening. I’m also.. generally really grouchy nowadays. Not something I’m proud of.

Current options are:

go back on vitairi (easy way)

continue with tea (current method, not my favourite)

Or… cold turkey. See what happens. That usually brings headaches, though… worse than usual.

[pharmacity-weekly]

Don't you miss who you were becoming?

“… I.. I do, I think…”

She says it with longing, as if she knows that future self is far out of reach now.

“.. maybe I could.. still be her, one day.”

[pharmacity-weekly]

do you really want to stay here?

Akko freezes at the text. Since opening a report line, she's gotten a lot of odd requests. This one, however- implies someone's been watching her every move. Her every choice, for god knows how long. It's too straightforward to be Kiyoi, too.. non-threatening to be the Pharmacist.

.. They do have a point, though. Do I really want to.. stay here.. for the rest of my days?

[asleep-beneath-the-willows]

oh the urge to run from the few people who love and care about me looking real nice. a little too nice.

haha. I have.. partial control now what if I just-

[pharmacity-weekly]

Even if they don’t forgive you, is here really any better?

"... whoever you are, you really know how to push my buttons.." Akko mutters. She deletes the conversation off her phone, not even bothering to respond to the text. They've got a point, though.. would going back really be so horrible?

[pharmacity-weekly]

Isn't this more painful in the end?

“… it is. For everyone, I think. I just…”

would I really deserve better, if I was the one who caused this all?

“.. I’m scared.”