Star Nerds Incorrect Quotes
Most of the quotes come from Perchance Incorrect Quotes Generator.
Ford : Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos–
Doctor : I wrote you a poem.
Ford, already crying: You did ?
Doctor : When I met Stanford, he threatened me with a gun. When I met Stanley, he threatened me with a baseball bat. So, naturally, I assumed that Stanley was the responsible one.
*We see Stan in the background teaching Dipper and Mabel to shoot with a gun*
Doctor : I was wrong.
*Ford joins them with a sci-fi gun and makes a bush explode*
Doctor : There is no responsible one.
Ford : You can't wake up if you never got to sleep.
Ford : Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Doctor !
Doctor : You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.
Ford : I’m this close to falling in love with the Doctor.
Stan : Your fingertips are touching.
Ford : Exactly.
Stan : Ford–
Ford, crying : The Doctor used to call me Ford.
Stan : Because it’s your fucking name !
Mabel, hugging Ford : Grunkle Stan, I told you, HE IS SENSITIVE !
Ford : Ah shit, I forgot.
Doctor : Forgot what ?
Ford : How do you expect me to answer that ?
Doctor : Ford, you love me, right ?
Ford : Usually I'd say yes without question but I'm worried about where this is going.
Doctor : What's gone wrong, Stan ?
Stan : Hey ! Just because I’m calling doesn’t mean there’s a crisis.
Doctor : That’s technically true, I suppose. Why are you calling ?
Stan : Well... There’s a crisis.
Stan : How does the Doctor usually get out of these messes ?
Ford : He doesn’t. He just makes a bigger mess that cancels the first one out.
Ford : My only talent is being stress.
Doctor : Don't you mean stressed?
Ford : No.
Ford : The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.
Doctor : Sorry I can’t be emotionally vulnerable with you, it'd ruin the mystery.
Ford, proudly: I slept.
Doctor : Is that so much of a rare thing that you have to say it?
Doctor : Ford is restricted to decaf for the rest of this adventure.
Ford : Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices.
Ford : Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.
Doctor : I hate you.
Ford : Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.
Ford : Anybody got any crayons so I can color in my Ph. D.?
Stan : You're a lying piece of shit !
Doctor : Oh yeah ? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD !
Ford : I'm leaving and I'm taking the TARDIS with me !
Mabel, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.
Mabel : You’re like a thousand years old.
Ford : I'm sixty two !
Mabel : And your boyfriend is like two thousand years old.
Doctor : I’m… Wait, hold up. That’s fair.
Ford : What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along?
Stan : What did you just say-
Ford : Foetons! *Laughs*
Stan : Wh-what?
Doctor : *Laughs from afar*
Ford : You're ignoring all your problems.
Doctor : I know.
Ford : You also know it's an unhealthy coping mechanism ?
Doctor : I'm ignoring that fact as well.
Ford :
Ford : I'm going to fight the next person who insults the Doctor.
Doctor : I hate myself.
Ford : Alright, square up.
Ford : "You look tired" well, the torment is relentless and the horrors never cease.
Doctor: Alright, so the vampire's gravestone is—
Ford: Cenotaph.
Doctor: What ?
Ford: It's only a gravestone if it marks the location of a body. A monument honouring someone whose body isn't present is a cenotaph.
Doctor: I'm... not sure that's how it works if the body gets up and walks away on its own.
Ford: There's a precedent for gravestones being reclassified as cenotaphs if the body is later removed and reinterred elsewhere. There's no rule that says the body itself can't do the removing.
Doctor: Okay, but the body is very much coming back. That's kind of what we're here to accomplish.
Ford: So it's a temporary cenotaph.
Doctor: And naturally our greatest concern here is avoiding semantic ambiguity.
Ford: Semantic ambiguity is how vampires get you.
