Remus didn’t sleep well that whole week. Most nights he ended up smoking a joint around midnight just to be able to sleep. Still, the memories, the ones he had already told Minerva about and the ones that were yet to come, wouldn’t stay away. It was just enough to put them in the background and get some sleep.
He felt like he was counting down to his death. It was ironic that his next therapy appointment was on Thursday November 3rd: Sirius’ 26th birthday. In a way, it almost made sense. Both of the darkest clouds on his horizon were colliding at one time.
After a long summer, most of the grass he’d tried to plant in the front yard had grown in. Remus hadn’t really noticed it until he was walking to his car Thursday morning. He’d filled in the spots that had been worn out by his friends’ cars over the years. Still, he wanted to make it obvious where to park if he ever had a guest (which admittedly would probably only be Caradoc), so he’d left one set of tire tracks exposed. They’d been Sirius, but it wasn’t because of that. They were just the closest to the door besides his.
So, naturally, Remus was exhausted when he climbed the stairs to Dr. McGonagall’s office. He almost forgot to avoid Atlas, who was naturally sitting at the top of the steps. At the last moment, he diverted his stop from crushing him completely.
“Mr. Lupin, it’s good to see you!” Minerva smiled, coming around the corner from the kitchen with two cups of tea. Remus tried to grumble out a response as he fell into the couch, but very little of it was actual words.
“Not very excited for this week?” she asked, setting out the cups.
“I can’t say I am.”
“Are we getting close to something?” Minerva asked, settling into her chair and picking up her notebook.
“When Sirius broke up with me,” Remus said, bluntly. Atlas seemed to take the words as an invitation and settled onto the couch next to him, not quite on his lap yet, but preparing himself to be there. Dr. McGonagall waved him on.
i had to check and see what i had already posted from this because honestly i'm a little shocked by how much was in this doc
Sober James was at least a little bit more hesitant. When he’d woken up with an absolutely seething headache, he had kind of assumed that they were just not going to talk about it. He’d gone out to the kitchen where Remus was making a large mound of eggs for all of them. James dropped down into the stool next to Sirius, who was staring blankly at a mug of coffee. He didn’t seem to be drinking it, so James set his phone down on the table and took the mug of coffee, downing a large gulp of it.
Sirius looked at him before grabbing his phone off of the island.
“What are you doing?”
“Putting Regulus’ number in. I think you should text him today, before classes start,” Sirius explained. He typed quickly before setting the phone down and snatching his mug back.
“Are you sure this is a good idea, Pads? I kind of feel like I’d be using your brother,” James explained.
“I’m fairly sure that it’s a bad idea, actually,” Remus mumbled.
“Well, it’s a good thing he was talking to me, then,” Sirius snapped. Remus sighed and rolled his eyes, but went back to cooking.
I don’t do this often with TLOL, but here is a little tease of tomorrow’s chapter:
It was already noon by the time he’d woken up. They spent the whole day with him. Neither of them brought up what had happened, but it hung heavy in the room. It was annoying, but Remus still felt the comfort they were trying to imbue in him. They played games and did homework, and sometimes Remus would cry, but they let him.
They never asked why he was crying. They assumed they knew. They were wrong, though. Remus was crying because he wanted Sirius there. He’d be fine if he was there with their friends, if they had to sit apart and act like they weren’t falling in love. He wanted them to be there alone, where he could fall into his boyfriend. He’d settle for anything.
“Let’s get you back to your dorm. I’ll text James and Pete to meet us there, and then I’ll go and take care of this, okay?” It wasn’t the last thing that Sirius had said to him, that had been even less interesting. It was the last thing of meaning, though. The last thing, stamped in place with a messy kiss. Remus could only guess that was where Sirius was. He didn’t want him there. He wanted him here.
Remus didn’t text him, though. He didn’t know how to ask for him to come back to him. Remus felt like whatever Sirius needed to do, he needed to do. He had no right to ask for that.
So, he waited. He waited and waited and waited. He waited so long that he gave in to the little voice in the back of his head.
“Where is Padfoot?” Remus did the best that he could to ask it casually in the middle of a game of Mario Kart.
“No idea. He was gone when I left this morning,” James said, with a kind of artificial calmness that didn’t calm Remus at all. He immediately paused the game.
“I’m getting hungry,” Remus lied. He actually had no desire to eat anything at all.
“I’ll go get you something!” James jumped up.
“I think I’m gonna take a shower, too.” Another lie. “So, if you want to go with him, Wormtail, that’d be fine with me,” Remus offered. Peter looked over at James, taking his lead. James shrugged before he looked back.
“Yeah, that sounds good,” Peter offered.
They left not long after that, leaving Remus alone in the dorm. As soon as they left, Remus slumped to the floor. He pulled his knees up to his chest and put his forehead on his knees. The tears came right away, and he felt everything he’d been holding back.
Of course, he didn’t get to stay like that. There was a knock on the door, and for a second he hoped that Sirius would be on the other side when he opened the door. It was surprisingly close, though. Regulus Black was looking up at him.
I love kiss and cry so so so much but I think I need to hear more about love with an attitude!!
i don't actually have that much of love with an attitude written, so i guess i can i would really really love to do both! twist my arm a little!
love with an attitude
The music was loud, the kind of loud that made it impossible to think about much of anything. It was a sign that the night was really getting going. There were a dozen or so people at the bar, and countless people dancing on the dance floor. Dorcas was spinning in the elevated DJ’s booth, which meant the night was going to be the best they had to offer.
It was Friday night at his bar. His Bar. That phrase never got old to him. Sirius loved bartending on the club level of Grimmauld Place. It was where he met the most interesting people and got to witness the most chaos.
As popular as Grimmauld Place was, it had an odd story. Formerly, this had been the last residential hold out on a block turned commercial. Slowly but surely over the generations, Grimmauld had become an up and coming hip strip in London, but Number 12 was the hold out. For as long as there had been a block, the Black family had lived there. Then, it fell into the hands of Sirius and Regulus Black.
and now for something completely different
kiss and cry
“Oh, Lily, glad you’re here,” Remus grumbled, looking at his phone as he came out of the bathroom. “Do you have any idea why I just got an email that our flight was canceled?”
Sirius watched as a slow smile spread across her face. She turned to look at him and raised an eyebrow.
"Hey, he asked you, not me." He put his hands up in resignation.
“Well,” she turned back to look at Remus, “I’m actually taking Sirius’ ticket back to Boston to hang out with Marlene.”
“And James,” Marlene interjected.
“Fine, and James. And you and Sirius… are going to stay here for a few days.”
Sirius was studying Remus’ face with each word. He watched as his expression shifted from confusion to understanding to shock, and all the way back to confusion again. It was adorable, watching his eyebrows shift and turn. It took his breath away, though, when his eyes shifted to meet his.
